dating on sa uk -photos - Page 2

Amber Fyre · #31 15th April 2009, 15:43

There seems to be a lot of presumption made recently about why people post pictures. It's either done for 'attention' or now apparently to get a date...

I have posted pictures on here before but certainly not for those two reasons! I used to have HUGE self esteem issues, particularly regarding my looks. I always like to deal with my issues and to get past them. So one way in which I did this was a sort of 'exposure therapy' - posting pictures on here helped me to face who I am, not hide myself away so much, show myself to the world I suppose. Confronting something that scared me. So just because you post a picture does not mean you think you are god's gift or are trying to 'get some'.

As for comments picture recieve - well we can't really control these. It's up to the individual to show some common self and courtesy for others. Of course not everybody will, but that's just life. But people have been made to feel bad for posting pictures recently and I don't think this is right, especially on a social anxiety forum where people can get easily paranoid, embarrassed and self conscious. I love it that people can post pictures and I hope that they continue to - it gives a face to the name, gives the board a greater sense of realism, and as I said before posting pictures can be beneficial to the individual.

As for a 'dating section' - well I can see the reasons people would want one, but I think overall it would cause more harm than good. There is too high a percentage of males, it would be difficult to monitor, and it could cause a whole host of problems. ie. women being flooded with responses, males not getting responses and causing rejection issues, etc. And besides, people have met partners through this site before without a need for this section. Just go to meets, get to know people on the board, make friends on here, and then you never know!

AAAli · #32 15th April 2009, 15:43

Not another one.

Keep this out of the social anxiety room, its nothing to do with social anxiety.

luke · #33 15th April 2009, 15:45

i put up a picture ages ago just for fun and maybe it was small acheviment for me to out my face out there. if im im honest in the back of my head the thought that sumone mite like me from my photo was there, but its kinda just a bonus if sumone would like to get to know me in a daing sense.

Andy · #34 15th April 2009, 15:46

I think a dating forum would be good. I think there's a module that adds dating to VB.

wd40mk17.4 · #35 15th April 2009, 16:13

I think some omelette is needed in this thread.

ekko · #36 15th April 2009, 17:14

hi im looking for a date, im not fussy, aslong as shes pretty, intelligent, kind, sensual, has a nice figure, knows how to make a nice curry, doesn't mind being my drinking buddy, likes superhero movies, doesn't have stubbly legs, likes travelling, likes techno, doesn't mind being on top, likes heroes bsg and lost, cooks breakfast, doesn't moan when im playing pes and wants to have two boys one named roy and one named eric...

Frank · #37 15th April 2009, 17:52

NOBODY wants to date a man united fan. well not me anyway

And take your hat off when you're typing. Have you no manners?

teng65 · #38 15th April 2009, 19:48

I think it is very brave for people to put their picture up. I have never for fear of being judged or recognised. This is a place where I can express myself anonomously.

I have looked at other peoples pictures though and some of the replies I think could be percieved by some as a bit forward if the two people are not familiar with each other already.

As far as dating through this site, my opinion is it is the only place where some people come for advice, a lot of it about dating, and if people started to date through this site and it went pear shaped then they may not feel comfortable talking about it on this site and withdraw.

Frank · #39 15th April 2009, 19:49

We will take that as NO then tang

monty_rp · #40 15th April 2009, 21:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olive

look, I made an observation, and it does seem like there is a lot of flirting going on, not everyone but definately a few, I thought it made sense to start a dating thread, I've obviously hit a nerve, what a strange site... perhaps some of you take this site far too seriously..
(and no, I am not jelous, I am happily taken for

)

-edited a bit-

I have a challenge for you. How about you post a picture of yourself. If you have the balls to (and I suspect you don't) then maybe your patronizing will go down a little better. There's a lot of reasons why people would put up pictures of themselves, and the most common seem to be simply for the sake of putting a picture up (to see if we can do it). I think that's why the thread was made in the first place actually.

Underground · #41 15th April 2009, 23:06

What makes people think that that can read the intention of others who post pics? Or to overlook all the others reasons why people post pictures on this site and accuse them of trawling for possible suitors? It only really seems to happen when the posters are better looking than average. God help me if I ever post a pic on this site. The place would be in uproar.

It's impossible to know why people posts pics, whereas the responses are less ambiguous to read into to. That's where the problem lies. It's people who respond who make it seem like it's a hook-up site.

pAuL1974 · #42 15th April 2009, 23:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by MasterCaster

Those that outright reject the notion of a dating section on this site obviously fail to grasp a predominate part of human nature and/or are totally past it.

Or perhaps assume wrongly that as they can manage to get dates/partners without such a section that everyone else should also be able to do the same.

wd40mk17.4 · #43 15th April 2009, 23:41

YES! YES YES! LETS CASTIGATE PEOPLE SOME MORE
WOOOOO

we are just waiting for an opportunity to criticize.

no wonder the OP is new and thinks we are strange.

boredom does funny things to people, I should know.

we will dissect every little thing you say and debate it to death, oh yes we will,

and then use it to make ourselves clean of that tarring brush, oh yes.

Deepguy · #44 15th April 2009, 23:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by MasterCaster

There really is not alot here for people who don't have an interest in social anxiety topics. For opinionated people forums are great places to be. For those who just want to have a bit of a flutter with people (and I'm not even referring to dating), this website is a little sterile at the moment.

I disagree actually - what about the Lounge, the Games Room, and dare I say it the Basement? None of those are really much to do with SA at all, they're the kind of thing you'll find on most forums that have a particular 'subject' they focus on. You get the main 'main subject' focused boards, then you have the 'general chat' board (Lounge), often a more controversial off-topic forum like the Basement, and other stuff like games, etc. That format is generally the same whether it's an SA forum or a Star Wars forum.

The debate about a dating section has been totally done to death so I don't think it's worth doing any more than restating my opinion that the reasons we don't have one are good ones, and personally I can't see a scenario where that is ever likely to change.

ekko · #45 17th April 2009, 16:50

maybe the people who want a dating section could try here :

http://www.getting-together.org.uk

LexSless · #46 17th April 2009, 17:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by wd40mk3

YES! YES YES! LETS CASTIGATE PEOPLE SOME MORE
WOOOOO

we are just waiting for an opportunity to criticize.

no wonder the OP is new and thinks we are strange.

boredom does funny things to people, I should know.

we will dissect every little thing you say and debate it to death, oh yes we will,

and then use it to make ourselves clean of that tarring brush, oh yes.

the OP was being critical.....? nothing wrong with that either. do you have to soil EVERY thread where people disagree with each other FFS? third time lucky- you finally got some attention, i bit..... well done

wd40mk17.4 · #47 17th April 2009, 18:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by LexSless

the OP was being critical.....? nothing wrong with that either. do you have to soil EVERY thread where people disagree with each other FFS? third time lucky- you finally got some attention, i bit..... well done

thankyou, have some omelette.

Balea · #48 18th April 2009, 22:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olive

I was looking at the photos section 'post a random picture of yourself' on sa uk and noticed how ashamedly outright it is with people posting suggestive pictures of themselves, all of the sleezy comments etc and thought everyone is blatantly trying to pull each other, why not start a dating thread/flirty photos thread where they can all get on with it together? (those that partake in that whole kind of thing)

Hello Olive,

If part of a forum doesn't appeal to me, I just usually don't bother reading those bits. If the sleaze factor in the photos section puts you off, it might be better not to look.

Personally, I think it's nice to be able to put faces to posts and deeply admire anyone brave enough to post their photo on an internet forum.

Hope all the extremely useful information here about SA helps you. It's really great to be part of such a supportive community!

GhostOnMagneticTape · #49 19th April 2009, 12:37

This old old old old old chestnut again... I'll have to reiterate what I probably have said over the years on this topic of "dating on SAUK".

SA UK is a support forum for people with a mental health disorder, that is the main purpose not a place to pick up members of the opposite sex (although it's blatantly obvious some people do anyway). I would hate to see SAUK transform in something like Plenty Of Fish dating website, a dating section would definitely do more harm to this forum along with it's reputation and individuals than good!

If some people here are feeling lonely, flirty or promiscuous then use the penpals section, come along to some alcohol fuelled meets or come into chat and make friends.

I really wish the Moderators would ban all topics about implementing dating on SAUK or at least post a sticky informing people to refrain from demanding a dating section on here.