Do you consider yourself attractive & sexually desirable to the opposite sex? - Page 2

AxelFendersson · #31 14th December 2011, 18:38

I don't really see myself as attractive (physically or generally). I never have. For a long time I was convinced I was hideous. But gradually, I've come to accept that (a) I'm not actually that bad to look at. And (b) that, it doesn't really matter what I think. I'm not the one I need to attract.

As a heterosexual man, I am poorly equipped to judge what women will find attractive in men at the best of times. When it comes to the subject that I am least able to view objectively (i.e. me) then I really don't have a chance.

So I am gradually learning not to have an opinion at all about whether or not I am attractive. Instead I just have to accept that when I meet a woman she may or may not find me attractive and I will not be able to predict which. I just have to play it by ear and see what happens.

I know that at least some women have found me attractive.

Potatoes · #32 14th December 2011, 18:57

I think im good looking and often get looks from girls when im out because of my height and swagger but my personality is bad and im quite a negative person so meh.

can often see the anti-climax/disappointment on girls faces once i start talking which is understandable. I guess it's odd having a tall confident looking guy walk over to you then sound like a fumbling mess that can hardly finish a sentence

Detox · #33 14th December 2011, 21:09

+1 to the **** no pile.

ghost.of.an.englishman · #34 14th December 2011, 21:33

It's not really worth thinking about if you ask me, just the familiar SA no confidence spiral. When you get a modicum of confidence you'll start noticing there are people who find you attractive, although SA will convince you you're an unfanciable freak.

It's surely better to think yes there will be people out there who fancy me and I fancy back. Thinking that "the opposite sex" fancies you seems like an up your own arse attitude to have anyway

Johnni · #35 14th December 2011, 22:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by no-moving-lines

It's not really worth thinking about if you ask me, just the familiar SA no confidence spiral. When you get a modicum of confidence you'll start noticing there are people who find you attractive, although SA will convince you you're an unfanciable freak.

Yeah i agree.

Mr Ploppy · #36 14th December 2011, 22:13

There's a few things I wish I could say on this thread, I wish I could speak my mind but I can't be arsed with the angst & frustration right now.

Whatever is said won't change ingrained attitudes will it ?

Johnni · #37 14th December 2011, 22:24

^ You never know but most likely it won't.

Rane · #38 14th December 2011, 22:26

Quite simply - not at all. Unfortunately I've actually gotten much worse looking as I've gotten older and I didn't start out well

Invisible · #39 14th December 2011, 22:28

No, not at all.

Golz · #40 14th December 2011, 22:43

Not really (though don't hate my looks as much as have done before), but not something I give much thought or at least try not to.

However there must be something in it, otherwise I'd have had more interest in me in my life. Kinda hard to ignore 'facts' like that.

Duke of Prunes · #41 14th December 2011, 23:04

Never thought about it, and I don't really care. None of my self-esteem or confidence issues have anything to do with my appearance.

Johnni · #42 14th December 2011, 23:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by HaveANiceDay

I've at times been on different sides of the fence on this one; I used to get very little interest but over the last decade I've been very happy with the interest I get. The change came when I changed the kind of women I socialised with. And yes it's very nice to get the interest although there are other things in my life which are more important.

How do you mean?

Tom123 · #43 15th December 2011, 02:03

Overall I consider myself slightly below average in terms of looks. I have a massive forehead, squinty eyes and a large nose but I think I have a reasonable smile and general aura of friendliness which may negate a few of my many inadequacies. Saying that, however, I am in no way sexy or desirable.

Furdle_McShmurdle · #44 15th December 2011, 06:02

I do sometimes feel I'm sexually attractive but other times I don't. I don't like my hair which is my main issue. I'd feel alot better if I had more hair and could do something with it.

Naturally physical attraction plays a part (I'm a sucker for a nice smile and eyes) but to be mentally attractive is what really matters to me, both in myself and in someone else. A mental attraction makes someone sexually attractive.

Its what I need to work on for myself and to get more confidence back which I've lost some of. With that, I'd find myself more mentally attractive.

Beauty (mental and physical) is in the eye of the beholder

talisman · #45 15th December 2011, 09:15

I dunno really. I see no obvious reason why women shouldn't find me attractive, yet I don't get much female interest. I post photos and get few replies, I get little to no interest on dating sites depite having several photos in my profiles, so clearly I'm not that physically appealing. Some women have shown interest in the past so I acn't be all bad.

I think my hair style is a weakness (but easily fixed I guess) and perhaps perhap having a fair amount of body hair is a put off for modern day women. I'm short and not particularly muscular as well but I only see those as very minor flaws.

So I don't really understand why I'm not that physically appealing tbh.

Quote:

Originally Posted by boredwithanxiety

I think that confidence is what makes someone attractive! I find confident people attractive(and slightly intimidating). I do have confidence about my appearance and how I dress. I don't have confidence about ME and who I am; my personality

I think this is true. Perhaps confidence can be sensed when loooking at someone so it contributes to the attraction factor. Obviously I don't exude confidence.

warmness · #46 15th December 2011, 10:27

Nope :L

girlinterrupted · #47 15th December 2011, 12:50

I think what some posters have said about personality being so important is true,for me at least. I think personality shows through body language,facial expressions etc. When you`re looking at someone across a room say for a first impression,personality plays a huge part in how someone physically appears...they can be the most conventionally good-looking person,but someone who looks grumpy,or bored,or disinterested or just plain dull (the whole "dead eyed thing") is a big turn off. On the other hand someone who maybe doesn`t have the same looks but has bright sparkling eyes,friendly smile,is laughing or chatting busily looks much more warm and open and friendly,which instantly makes me find them more attractive. I often notice people who (by societys general standards) shouldn`t be attractive,but they are ,people who are by no means conventionally good looking and yet they have that indefinable "something",that certain twinkle which lights up their face and demeanour,that hints at fun and intelligence. Obviously not everyone will find those traits attractive,but some of us do so please don`t underestimate the effect personality can have in showing through in someone`s face/demeanour even in the few seconds it takes to make a first impression.

Eeeejit · #48 15th December 2011, 17:17

NO.As the saying goes beauty is in the eye off the beholder.Hate seeing pics off myself im such an ugly fecker.

Sid · #49 15th December 2011, 18:15

No

and is not a mind dysfunction because other people's past comments to me support my view!

I'm fat, spotty, old, scruffy/can't be arsed 90% time. And, I haven't even got a nice personality to compensate!!

My two long term relationships were 1, from a blind date 2, Met online and he loved me before he saw me

(poor sod)

So there you go

(Not even bothered most of the time tbh ... is much easier to be an ugly fat tramp than to try!!)

FastLad · #50 15th December 2011, 18:46

The one time I made a move on a girl she called me disgusting lol

Marlowe · #51 15th December 2011, 22:43

I get female attention so i would say yes - the opposite sex does find me attractive... and its nice to know that the someone out there finds me 'desirable'.

Most of the time I never get further than that initial first attraction because usually if someone finds me attractive and approaches me (sadly I don't have the confidence to approach them) after a few minutes of small talk I will usually get that heightened feeling of self awareness and become very anxious. Then I make a quick exit with any excuse I can think of at the time. When really i should feel great for her attention, sweep her off her feet and make her feel really special too!

I dunno? If only I had more confidence in myself - I could move mountains and conquer the world!

Enjoyed reading some very honest comments so far!

Johnni · #52 15th December 2011, 23:32

No.

Marlowe · #53 16th December 2011, 00:20

Actually, I just read the title of the thread again and didn't like the tone of my reply. Perhaps I was confused? Even delirious maybe?

I hope I didn't come accross as someone who thinks he's God's gift to women? That couldnt be further from the truth! My insecurities would put an end to any thought like that

Now - do I consider myself attractive and sexually desirable to the opposite sex? Personally, no not at all ... Does the opposite sex find me attractive and have shown an interest in me - yes they have done which has been both flattering and anxious for me at the same time.

Thats probably what my reply should have been.

Think I'll stick to posting music videos next time!

Oh well ... can't win them all!

custom_fusion-lqx · #54 16th December 2011, 00:48

you dont get to 21 years old without a girlfriend, without being a hidious freak, at least thats how i see it

so no to answer the original op

Thomas · #55 16th December 2011, 01:19

Well in terms of looks I don't really have any insecurities, I'm not bad looking. But the problem is that makes it even worse that I don't get any action with the opposite sex. People just assume that I don't have any problems but the truth is girls are more attracted to a guy's personality than anything else.

In terms of personality I don't think I'd make a bad boyfriend if I could be myself around a girl, it's just that the way nature works that by the time a girl gets to know me she knows me for the shy awkward quiet guy that nobody notices.

empathy · #56 16th December 2011, 02:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poltergeist

Interestingly, I'm gay and have had chances with the opposite sex. Life's a bitch, eh?

It's funny because I find that Gay guys are almost always sexy!!

I don't know if it is because we know we can't have them or if it is because Gay guys look after themselves very well which us ladies ALWAYS loves!!

Whatever it is I'm very sure you are beautiful!

empathy · #57 16th December 2011, 02:04

Oh and to answer... No I don't find I'm sexy at all. I do get's a lot of guys looking at me but I convince myself it is because they see all my flaws. Even when guys comment on me saying I'm sexy (people shout it out in the street which I think is rude and embarresing) I always question what the heck they find sexy in me BESIDES my EYES (which to be honest I don't see the big deal! So what they change between green, blue and grey!).

Cowburn · #58 16th December 2011, 04:24

Nope and don't think I've ever been told I'm attractive.

chocolatechip · #59 16th December 2011, 15:08

i think some people find me attractive - have no problem with the opposite sex, getting a date etc. With girls, I think they assume i'm confident and loud because of my appearance

so i'm always set up for a fail.

i'm meant to be the 'pretty' one in the family, and my nickname since i was little has been Dolly because everyone says i'm like a pretty doll. bit difficult to live up to lol. especially hard when i first got glasses!

without makeup i don't consider myself to be that attractive at all and with make mmmm, somewhat.

custom_fusion-lqx · #60 16th December 2011, 15:14

whats weird for me though is i was seeing my endriocolgist and he said my thyroid was normal and i told him i feel so terrible and rough and he gave me this long long lecture in how i should get a girlfreind and job and think positive and was telling me i was good looking and that if i didnt have a girlfreind by 24 id be past my sell by date, it all felt very surreal. I did feel motivated after for about 1 day then reverted back to my old ways.