How is everyone feeling? (21)

[Tetsuaiga]

I have a cut running along my head..and I have no idea where I got it from.

[Toxic]

i appear to be getting into a competition with the builders next door who has the loudest speakers

..im feeling pretty good..coz i know im gonna win

i was advised to book an alton towers ticket yesterday for next month by a friend..im now completely paranoid they have told me the wrong day on purpose or something so ive wasted £25..how the **** does one rid paranoia?

[Mr. Nobody]

Originally Posted by I Love My Cats

A bit anxious - plans for a day out with a few people. Hope it will go okay. At least we seem to be guaranteed good weather, so one less thing to worry about.

I'm sure you'll all have a great time,..

birds of a feather flock together

( if it's who I think it is, give them my regards )

[Golz]

Mix of relief and reflection. As last exam done with and being a lot better than expected. But it's another year gone, and hardly been the nicest of times but suppose I made it through. Now for a long summer.

[Tetsuaiga]

I feel lazy today. Need someone to give me a smack round the head.

Turned down an invitation cos of sa as well, ****ing annoying.

[Shining Star]

I'm doing well thank you, better than usual even though with current events. I'm feeling really hot and I can't take heat well! I'm listening to very happy and chirpy music - definitely recommend as good for cheering you up when your feel down!

i appear to have got an interview for one those job things tomorrow.

[hellotiger]

^Well done best of luck with it.


I'm feeling nervous. I'm distracting myself for now but it slips through every now and then. I've got my first meeting with one of those mh support groups tomorrow. When I think about it I feel

[ßazza]

I had a weird sensation earlier.

Although I do like talking and such and probing others to essentially let them do most of the work - Which is enjoyable and less tiresome for me.

The weird thing that today while getting haircut and talking to the lady cutting hair - Which has taking me a very long time to be comfortable with. Well today I actually felt interested in the topic about what she was doing and stuff.

So be clear - I already do enjoy talking so I do it for that reason. The difference was I actually cared for the topic and felt interested in what she was doing.

Thats pretty rare. Its been pretty fake for years and years tbh. Weird sensation that I was actually interested. Felt tingly and something went over me that the trivial boring discussion became interesting for me.

I wouldnt mind it that much for more in the future. Its easier to enjoy a boring trivial topic that I dont give a shit about > Just faking it. I mean this is pretty extreme as most hair dresser talk is usually extremely trivial. (Though I still enjoy the social interaction/aspect of it.) Iv been successfully able to have conversations of this type for approximately.. 2 years.. maybe? So the determination to keep trying was worth it I guess. Trivial boring meaningless conversations about someone else boring life = win.

I had the same thing happen to be many many years ago when I discovered I enjoyed talking to people too. Its just the conversations about themselves was a means to an end rather than caring that much. Bit like talking about the weather or something. Plus it was easier let them do all the work by bouncing questions off them. Get them talking the most and best way to do that was to get them talking about themselves lol.

[bluemaus]

A bit lame.

Had a bit of a 'mare earlier today. Too warm and had to wait a few hours for a (non SA) meet up. Thought I'd go in shops because it would make me look a bit less suspicious than sitting around in the city centre and the air-con would be helpful.

Didn't really end up a good idea - spent most of the time staring at the floor and feeling really self-concious. I wouldn't say it's the worst I've ever felt, but it certainly wasn't comfortable.

At least I ventured outside; that can only be a good thing I guess.

[Mr_Bean]

doctors tomorrow-test to see if diabetic. thats going to be fun. might wimp out though

[Johnni]

I'm at that crossroads now where im feeling shit & angry and see no hope in getting better OR i could ignore all that and pull myself together and keep on going.
Tbh i can (and have) tried all sorts of shit to get better but there's a few issues i can see me never getting over (i think im to far gone with them) and despite what others have said about my beliefs/fears not being true it it's all bollocks it seems at the end of the day and what i think seems to be true which is scaring me as the prospect of the future looks pretty shit then if i'm right.

[Johnni]

Originally Posted by Bobazaw

i appear to have got an interview for one those job things tomorrow.

Good luck.

[Named User]

Originally Posted by Johnni

I'm at that crossroads now where im feeling shit & angry and see no hope in getting better OR i could ignore all that and pull myself together and keep on going.
Tbh i can (and have) tried all sorts of shit to get better but there's a few issues i can see me never getting over (i think im to far gone with them) and despite what others have said about my beliefs/fears not being true it it's all bollocks it seems at the end of the day and what i think seems to be true which is scaring me as the prospect of the future looks pretty shit then if i'm right.

You may well think this is a big load of bollocks too, but I think I've been at those crossroads. I have no words of advice, as I cluelessly stumbled my way through it. That's the point though, I'm still here.

I would advise you to go to sleep, which usually helps in riding out these thoughts, but it's a bit hot for that!

[Johnni]

Originally Posted by gunstreetgirl

Less depressed than yesterday but still flat. I'm really scared that I'll end up doing something I regret soon. Feel like I've reached a point of no return and it seems like nothing can get better now.

That's how im feeling atm also. sucks doesn't it. Hope you feel better.

[Johnni]

Originally Posted by Named User

You may well think this is a big load of bollocks too, but I think I've been at those crossroads. I have no words of advice, as I cluelessly stumbled my way through it. That's the point though, I'm still here.

I would advise you to go to sleep, which usually helps in riding out these thoughts, but it's a bit hot for that!

Ta for replying.
But the problem is i been stumbling my way through it sometimes avoiding these issues for years. Its only recently i kinda confronted them and see now way to get over them. Was like ''i'll get better eventually'' before it was blind hope which was naive but i done alot of stuff the past few yrs and have got better but other issues like BDD related i cant really get rid of still and now scared that i never will be able to.

[Named User]

Originally Posted by Johnni

Ta for replying.
But the problem is i been stumbling my way through it sometimes avoiding these issues for years. Its only recently i kinda confronted them and see now way to get over them. Was like ''i'll get better eventually'' before it was blind hope which was naive but i done alot of stuff the past few yrs and have got better but other issues like BDD related i cant really get rid of still and now scared that i never will be able to.

Has something happened recently which triggered your BDD?

In my experience, I have to deal with aspects of my SA during certain periods. Recently, I've been feeling very positive and as a result, I believe my SA is an easier obstacle to overcome than I have done when I've felt like shit. And usually, I feel like shit after a recent event (such as when a girl I like doesn't respond to very heartfelt emails).

Now, when I feel shit, I try my best not to worry about tackling SA. I kind of lower my expectations, so when something happens, no matter how trivial it may be considering my expectations are rock bottom, my mood rises. It's when my mood rises that I feel I should begin recovery attempts (e.g. exposure).

You have to be careful not to give up completely during your "shit times", but I think forcing a positive mindset on yourself is like running into a brick wall. The positivity should come naturally.

Originally Posted by Johnni

Good luck.

Originally Posted by hellotiger

^Well done best of luck with it.

thanks

[Johnni]

Originally Posted by Named User

Has something happened recently which triggered your BDD?

In my experience, I have to deal with aspects of my SA during certain periods. Recently, I've been feeling very positive and as a result, I believe my SA is an easier obstacle to overcome than I have done when I've felt like shit. And usually, I feel like shit after a recent event (such as when a girl I like doesn't respond to very heartfelt emails).

You have to be careful not to give up completely during your "shit times", but I think forcing a positive mindset on yourself is like running into a brick wall. The positivity should come naturally.

Nothing in particular to trigger it, its always there everyday, i just hide it well but sometimes decide to talk about it.
I done well with SA cos i feel that can be tackled easier than BDD imo but it seems that whatever i do it wont get rid of the BDD, its engrained in me and i cant remove it.
Im not sure how to tackle it cos the positivity doesn't come naturally to me, if i always felt this bad about my appearance wouldn't the negative thoughts be more natural? Any positive thoughts will be alien to me. I don't think people i know tend to realise this as it's not just a phase or whatever and that i should ignore all the bad thoughts and focus on the positive cos i have no positives, all bad so then how do i work on it cos i don't think it can be tackled the same way as SA.

[shysoph]

Indifferent

[Tetsuaiga]

Quite cheerful. Still got too much to worry about though if I'm honest.

[bluemaus]

Originally Posted by surelynot

Feelng really good right now.
I'm contemplating doung this volunteering thing at a charity shop near my house - only for a couple of hours a week but it's progress I'm even feeling able enough to consider it!

Go for it!

[Named User]

It's nice to see, that even in drunkenness, my parents still seem to have a functioning body clock. I usually like to use the window between them going to sleep it off, and my brother coming home from work, to go downstairs and actually get some form of cool air as opposed to the dry, and generally foul smelling, environment that is my bedroom.

But no, it's OK. I'll just remain in my room, removing and putting my shirt back on in some sort of sadomasochistic cycle, trying to get to sleep, which isn't aided by said brother stomping around the house for no apparent reason...as usual.

I also woke up at 7am, although on the plus side, it means I don't have to wake up to Adam Boulton on Sky News, as per usual.

[Tamara]

Thank God - its cooler today - Im not getting that impending doom of whats to come
- "they" said it would be cooler so I will try to pretend it is.

[hellotiger]

I'm badly freaking out now. I have to be at the mh support group in 2 hours. I'm not entirely sure where I have to go, I know the general area but I'm not sure where the entrance is, I don't know what time the bus is either but at least I can look that up.
Emotionally I've put so much in to this, clinging to the idea that going to this group will help me put myself back together. Now it's likely that I'll have a meltdown before I even get there.

[Pablo Huntsbach]

Kind of miserable. I got woke up by a text coming through on my phone - I've been invited... To take a survey. Nice of them to trick me into thinking I have friends.

[hellotiger]

I'm really upset and confused. I went to the mh support group. It was just an interview to see what services they had that would be good for me. I had a little anxiety attack at the mention of group confidence building workshops (as I have a vivid imagination and even the idea of it was enough to make me panic), I had a little cry in the toilets for about 5 mins (my favourite pastime) then came back to them and they asked if they set me up with a volunteering placement would I go? I said I couldn't guarantee it, it depends what it was doing. Then they told me they thought I would not benefit from their services, I should have some counselling first, improve and then come back to them.
I just don't get it. I thought the way forward was to challenge these things that I'm scared of. I'm really upset that a support team sensitive to the difficulties of mental health issues thought I was too far gone for them to help me. I didn't even know I was this bad. I feel 10 times worse than I did before and utterly beyond help.

[Twoflower]

So bloody hot. I usually love the sun but I can't have doors/windows open because of the kitten and I'm boiling alive :O

my interview went well just got to wait to hear back and see if i get to go to the second interview.

[Toxic]

my minds really not interested in working these days

i seem to have too much shit floating about..cant focus..need to work on my website..but keep getting dragged outside to help with silly tasks i dont care for

..i just want to bloody sleep ...but its too hot