Collection of SA/self-help book recommendation threads and links to free CBT

[plasticflower]

Originally Posted by ctrl+alt+del

Hey plasticflower, thanks for replying. I've only listened to two of the tapes and already his voice is grating on my nerves, oh dear!

hmm that's all well and good if you're alone in the comfort of your own home but sounds like strange advice for SA sufferers, who are likely to have their negative thoughts when in social situations

And so the search for a miracle cure continues.................

you dont necessarily have to sing when you thought of negative thoughts hahaa, thats was just one of the suggestions that was suggested, i just cant remember what the other ones were.

[ctrl+alt+del]

you dont necessarily have to sing when you thought of negative thoughts hahaa, thats was just one of the suggestions that was suggested, i just cant remember what the other ones were.

I'd like to have the nerve to though, especially on the bus at rush hour

[Candyman]

I'm so sick of self-help at this point. The vast majority of it makes you feel good/different for a few days and then you go back to your old ways. I'm convinced that the VAST majority of it is complete B.S. and doesn't work. I think most of it is just some person sitting down at a word processor and churning out their thoughts on self-esteem, anxiety, etc, etc. However, I RARELY think any of their methods for recovery are tested or proven to help. Besides, most of the material out there has been recycled a million times and if it didn't work before then why would the recycled version work?

I don't think all self-help is useless, but I think most of it is. I'm sure there's a few gems out there that help, but I'm getting tired of all the duds.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Candyman

I'm so sick of self-help at this point. The vast majority of it makes you feel good/different for a few days and then you go back to your old ways. I'm convinced that the VAST majority of it is complete B.S. and doesn't work. I think most of it is just some person sitting down at a word processor and churning out their thoughts on self-esteem, anxiety, etc, etc. However, I RARELY think any of their methods for recovery are tested or proven to help. Besides, most of the material out there has been recycled a million times and if it didn't work before then why would the recycled version work?

I don't think all self-help is useless, but I think most of it is. I'm sure there's a few gems out there that help, but I'm getting tired of all the duds.

9 times out of 10 self help doesn't work because the reader doesn't put the advise into practice.

[Candyman]

I'll try their advice, but eventually you just stop...I mean, waking up and doing positive affirmations gets tedious after a while. The thing is, there's hardly any scientific data to show that following any of that self-help advice even helps. I've never heard of anyone being cured of social anxiety by repeating positive things to themselves.

The only thing I know of which is backed by research is CBT. That actually did help me. I'm not so sure about the rest of the stuff, but by saying that 9 out of 10 times self help doesn't work because the people don't apply it presupposes that all the methods they teach have been proven to work and people are just lazy. I'm arguing that the real problem is that the methods don't work and that people give up out of frustration.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Candyman

I'll try their advice, but eventually you just stop...I mean, waking up and doing positive affirmations gets tedious after a while. The thing is, there's hardly any scientific data to show that following any of that self-help advice even helps. I've never heard of anyone being cured of social anxiety by repeating positive things to themselves.

The only thing I know of which is backed by research is CBT. That actually did help me. I'm not so sure about the rest of the stuff, but by saying that 9 out of 10 times self help doesn't work because the people don't apply it presupposes that all the methods they teach have been proven to work and people are just lazy. I'm arguing that the real problem is that the methods don't work and that people give up out of frustration.

I'd find it enormously difficult to believe that all of these methods don't work, i'm not actually saying that they've been proven to work but that many many people probably don't really put them into practice or perhaps do but don't stick it through long enough.

Repeating positive things to yourself is obviously not going to cure your SA and overly positive isn't going to help, you've also got to get out there and do, BUT no one ever changes if they stay negative.

I think the general consensus is that some of these things work better then others and some will work better for you.

[iloverain]

hi i've been give this link by my health team,hope it proves useful..

http://www.livinglifetothefull.com

[Pal]

Originally Posted by iloverain

hi i've been give this link by my health team,hope it proves useful..

http://www.livinglifetothefull.com

Looks interesting

[pboy]

I think that methods do work but you have to be persistent and consistent. Any form of selfhelp is like exercise - it's about changing your thinking patterns for life not a few days or weeks. And lack of motivation in itself is something that first needs to be addressed.

That said there is a lot of b****cks floating about out there, it's better to stick to things that you know have worked for others.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by pboy

I think that methods do work but you have to be persistent and consistent. Any form of selfhelp is like exercise - it's about changing your thinking patterns for life not a few days or weeks. And lack of motivation in itself is something that first needs to be addressed.

That said there is a lot of b****cks floating about out there, it's better to stick to things that you know have worked for others.

Well said!!

[Candyman]

Originally Posted by pboy

That said there is a lot of b****cks floating about out there, it's better to stick to things that you know have worked for others.

That list is quite small. I can't even think of five for social anxiety. The most prominent would be CBT, which helped me. However, the vast majority of stuff out there you'll hear anecdotal evidence of it helping, but I find that questionable.

[prettylittlefists]

I've found some of the articles on this website to be quite helpful. http://www.succeedsocially.com/

They seem to have been written by someone who has actually overcome social awkwardness (It doesn't explicitly mention SA) and has sections on improving people skills, confidence, making friends.

I haven't actually read all of the articles yet, so can't vouch for all of them being useful

[Pal]

Originally Posted by prettylittlefists

I've found some of the articles on this website to be quite helpful. http://www.succeedsocially.com/

They seem to have been written by someone who has actually overcome social awkwardness (It doesn't explicitly mention SA) and has sections on improving people skills, confidence, making friends.

I haven't actually read all of the articles yet, so can't vouch for all of them being useful

That's a good one although i did find it a tad doom and gloom.

What part of Southampton are you from PLF?

[prettylittlefists]

Originally Posted by Pal

That's a good one although i did find it a tad doom and gloom.

What part of Southampton are you from PLF?

I'm at uni here, near the city centre. And you?

[Pal]

Originally Posted by prettylittlefists

I'm at uni here, near the city centre. And you?

Oh righty O, which Uni?

I'm Maybush based, about 150 metres from the Ordnance Survey.

You're not in Portswood are you?

[Pal]

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Coping-Blush...7065830&sr=8-1

I've not brought or read this myself, since blushing isn't a big deal for me, but one or two of you might want to look into this.

[DarkMeLegendary]

First, Check out this free technique to know if it works for you:
http://cure-social-anxiety.net/socia...technique.html

It's actually more than just an Ebook. You get personalized support.
Find out more here:
http://cure-social-anxiety.net/

[Vinylogist]

Originally Posted by Innervision

I have another one by Dr David Burns called 'The Feeling Good Handbook'. I read it some time ago but found it useful.

I've not read anything by Ellis, but have heard some people say they like his stuff. If I recall correctly, REBT and Cognitive therapy were sort of merged to then become CBT.

The Dr Burns book I read apperars to have plenty of good reviews too.

This is the best CBT book I've ever read, it's really cheap too, everyone should have a copy. I've read a lot of others, some catering specifically for SA and more general books, and this will always remain the best.
CBT combined with reading this book basically got me through a rough patch where I was unemployed and scared to leave the house. Can't reccomend it enough.

I think the cd sets, and self help guides that charge hundreds of pounds are a scam.

Also it's worth checking out books on NLP for a whole new way of dealing with phobias with hypnotic patterns.

[pboy]

I'd agree that the David Burns book is very good. The techniques is presents have been recycled in many other formats and selfhelp books since.

[pboy]

Originally Posted by Vinylogist

Also it's worth checking out books on NLP for a whole new way of dealing with phobias with hypnotic patterns.

NLP is partly based on CBT, as I understand it (its meant to be a faster version of it), but the hypnosis side has been found to be questionable to say the least.

[kf231]

I've got 'Painfully Shy' which is pretty good, although I do find it really hard to implement the techniques by myself, hence why I think actual CBT with a therapist might work a bit better for me.

I've also just ordered 'Coping with Blushing' off Amazon so I'll keep you posted on that.

[The Jerk]

Anybody read The Rough Guide to Happiness by Dr Nick Baylis?

[bruce mcgoose]

I bought The Feeling Good Handbook by David D. Burns.

I'm liking it so far, it's well written and although I'm barely into the second chapter, I've found it useful. Just being able to spot when and how my thoughts are being overly negative is somewhat comforting.

[Mr_Bean]

A book by Paul McKenna called Instant Confidence. Of course it doesn't do that (if only..) but it does have some good stuff in the book. This sounds corny but there is one bit where you press pressure points at all these locations when you feel overwhelmed. Now, I might be wrong but I think the idea is inducing your conscious to the present by doing all these weird stuff because your brain can sometimes be lost processing or gauging stuff.

[jaime]

My wife was really shy and when she became aware of self help books she began to read everthing going, including Feel the Fear etc. Like a lot of people, she found some of the books out there a lot harder to read than others. She has been studying books on this subject for the last 10 years now and has just published her own book entitled Shy People Can Be Successful Too! Now I don't like reading books and I haven't read many of the books that my wife has read over the years, but I had to read this one for obvious reasons! I can honestly say I found it really easy to read, there is a lot of my wife's personal story in there, and the great thing is, she is still the same person now, by no means an extrovert. The key message of the book is that you don't have to change your personality to achieve your dreams. If you google Adele de Caso you will find her website on which you can find out more about the book.

Thanks Jaime

[mayo1]

I didn't go through all the posts so sorry if this was already covered in this thread but the CBT book Been There, Done That? Do This! by Sam Obitz is really cheap and a short and simple book with a thought countering exercise called a TEA form that has helped me turn my thinking around and reduce my anxiety to a manageable level and I am still getting better most everyday. There are a few other exercises that are helpful in it as well but the TEA forms are the real deal for me and my anxiety. The tone of the book is real friendly too because the main author suffered severe anxiety and depression most of his life.

[IanIan]

Could we not have a list thread with all these books on? It's tricky wading thorough the whole thread looking for the various titles. Not that I'm ungrateful thanks to anyone who's posted stuff in here.

Thanks.

(Nothing to contribute myself other than the well known Gillian Butler book and another in that series, 'Overcoming Low Self-Esteem' by Melanie Fennel)

[hgraham]

I can highly recommend the CBT for Dummies book. It's done amazing things for me, but be warned - it's CBT principles in general for all kinds of anxiety, but there are common patterns and ways of thinking involved in anxiety - the principles can be applied to SA, and it covers emotional problems that can go hand in hand with it. I'm so glad I bought this book.

[black_mamba]

Originally Posted by jaime

My wife was really shy and when she became aware of self help books she began to read everthing going, including Feel the Fear etc. Like a lot of people, she found some of the books out there a lot harder to read than others. She has been studying books on this subject for the last 10 years now and has just published her own book entitled Shy People Can Be Successful Too! Now I don't like reading books and I haven't read many of the books that my wife has read over the years, but I had to read this one for obvious reasons! I can honestly say I found it really easy to read, there is a lot of my wife's personal story in there, and the great thing is, she is still the same person now, by no means an extrovert. The key message of the book is that you don't have to change your personality to achieve your dreams. If you google Adele de Caso you will find her website on which you can find out more about the book.

Thanks Jaime

Very interesting, I'll take a look.

[mayo1]

It would be nice if someone (a mod?) could condense this into a list and make it permanent so it is not so hard to get through to get all the recommendations.