How is everyone feeling? (31)

[Sisyphus]

Better than I have for quite a while.

I even got 6 hours sleep last night.

Life is going to notice this soon so I better make the most of it.

[T]

Feeling ok to be honest apart from a few aches and pains from indoor climbing which is understandable plus its focusing my mental state into a good way as i'm not thinking about those black clouds and i'm happy in myself only been doing it for a few weeks and enjoying it hopefully it will carry on...think i'll have to sleep with my snood tonight as i think i'm getting some cold on my neck and wake up with it sore and stiff!

[Perhaps]

My loneliness is killing me.

[Consolida]

^ I'm so sorry Perhaps

A recent study found that more than 9 million people in the UK are either always or sometimes lonely. Tbh, I reckon the number is a lot higher. It's heartbreaking that when people can make contact with others all around the World at the click of a button that people are feeling more and more isolated by the day. But I guess there's really no substitute for face to face contact with a friend. I think that's what's so cruel about Social Anxiety. Wanting so much to have meaningful connections with people but at the same time desperately fearing and avoiding it.

Yep, loneliness sucks.


Feeling like I should stop posting.

[Perhaps]

Thanks Consolida.

And yes. Personally I don't know if my social anxiety comes first or it's my avoidant personality to blame, but I'm sure both go hand in hand with over-sensitivity and fear of criticism/rejection. It's a vicious cycle.

I have never had a friend.

Because I feel I'm not good enough/ not having something to offer, part of me prefers being alone over taking risks/approaching/talking to people.

[Vienna]

Originally Posted by Consolida

@ Vienna I can well imagine how stressful it must be living with Parents AND a difficult brother. I would have cracked long ago
I hope for the sake of your own sanity you (or your brother!) has the opportunity to move into your own place soon.


ell:

Thanks.
I came home from work to hear of my dad and brother had another row.
The council have put one of those new led lights on the lamp outside our house. Brothers not happy about it and says it's too bright outside his window and that it hurts his eyes (diddums)
Said he's going to complain to the council, dad heard this and thinks he's being ridiculous...and so a row happened.

It's a flipping street light WHO CARES

My window is the same side and I never even noticed it

My brother just likes to stomp his feet and complain about everything

[Dougella]

^ Suggest to your brother that he gets a good black out blind/curtains or both, that should sort the problem. Apparently the LED street lights cost councis a lot less which can't be a bad thing in the current climate.

[Mo34]

Got a message from someone I used to be really good friends with. I did whatsapp her at New Year but beyond that we haven't messaged for a year or so. She txt today asking if I wanted to try and meet up for that coffee in the 1/2 term week. So I've said yes. Now I'm a bit like . Will be nice to catch up but will be very weird after a few years of not seeing her. Hope I don't go all sa and stupid.

[alvar]

Feeling horrendous. My day off from work and all I do is sit and worry about what I didn't get around to doing and how on earth am I supposed to get it all done when I get back on Saturday. To top it off had argument with my mother who said some pretty nasty things about me wanting to apply for a job in the care industry, basically saying I would be totally unsuitable for that kind of work and that I should stay where I was until something better came along. Thing is, I have worked at the same place for the last 16 years and it has been the cause of some of the worst anxiety and depression I have ever experienced. I know I have wasted my life and should have been more proactive career wise when I was younger and this is why I have ended up in a totally unfulfilling job with no support from management who just think of you as dispensable. Even when I am not there I am thinking about it and I cant get any enjoyment out of the things I used to do, like hobbies etc.

[Consolida]

Originally Posted by Mo34

Got a message from someone I used to be really good friends with. I did whatsapp her at New Year but beyond that we haven't messaged for a year or so. She txt today asking if I wanted to try and meet up for that coffee in the 1/2 term week. So I've said yes. Now I'm a bit like . Will be nice to catch up but will be very weird after a few years of not seeing her. Hope I don't go all sa and stupid.

That sounds nervously exciting Mo




@ alvar Aw it sounds like you are having an extremely tough time of it at the moment, especially in relation to your job

Hope you don't mind me sticking in my two penneths worth, but I think 16 years is a very long time to stick with a job that is causing you so much anxiety and misery. Unlike your mum, I think you have stayed in a job you dislike for quite long enough and you are long overdue a change. Although I'm sure that your Mother wants the very best for you, I think nobody can know you better than yourself (not even your mum!) and if working in the care industry is something that appeals to you then don't let anybody put you off and tell you that you aren't suitable before you've even given it a go!!

I don't know if there is Voluntary work available in the type of career you are interested in or if you would even be able to fit it in, but perhaps doing something like that would give you a bit of a taster before giving up your job and taking the plunge. Just thinking out loud!
I don't know how old you are but I am sure that whatever your age, you haven't wasted your life. It's really never too late to make changes and, although this is one of the worst cliches ever, perhaps it's all those bad times at work that have made you stronger and finally given you the motivation to move forward in a totally new direction. Good luck


Feeling frustrated. Why is it that I felt so sleepy in the late afternoon when I wanted to be alert but when I want to sleep at night I'm wide awake.

[Mo34]

^ Yeah, I guess. lol.

---------

I'm feeling windswept and interesting. Well OK just windswept. What a sodding morning to be out doing horses. Deep mud, gale force winds and a nice dousing of rain about half way through.

[Mr. Nobody]

Originally Posted by T

Feeling ok to be honest apart from a few aches and pains from indoor climbing which is understandable plus its focusing my mental state into a good way as i'm not thinking about those black clouds and i'm happy in myself only been doing it for a few weeks and enjoying it hopefully it will carry on...think i'll have to sleep with my snood tonight as i think i'm getting some cold on my neck and wake up with it sore and stiff!

Great stuff T,..
Apart from the cold obviously,

I've had the good fortune to do some bouldering in my time and there's something very primal and fundamental about it, like being a child again, clambering about, focussed on the next move, and in the moment

[Mr. Nobody]

Originally Posted by alvar

Feeling horrendous. My day off from work and all I do is sit and worry about what I didn't get around to doing and how on earth am I supposed to get it all done when I get back on Saturday. To top it off had argument with my mother who said some pretty nasty things about me wanting to apply for a job in the care industry, basically saying I would be totally unsuitable for that kind of work and that I should stay where I was until something better came along. Thing is, I have worked at the same place for the last 16 years and it has been the cause of some of the worst anxiety and depression I have ever experienced. I know I have wasted my life and should have been more proactive career wise when I was younger and this is why I have ended up in a totally unfulfilling job with no support from management who just think of you as dispensable. Even when I am not there I am thinking about it and I cant get any enjoyment out of the things I used to do, like hobbies etc.

Sounds very much like me Alvar,
A therapist once told me that it's probably an accomplishment just to survive, all those years in work, just getting by may seem like a waste, but it's possibly a means of survival, and an accomplishment, and we can slowly recover in the meantime,
I often have fretted over how well I've managed to utilise a holiday, but holidays often should just be that, a holiday, a break from the everyday grind, just time out really,
Trying to do lots of things on your holiday, just isn't a holiday anymore.
Try and just 'offline' on holiday, give your whole body and mind a rest from our mind's incessant need to do more

[Jam]

^ Nothing's permanent. Gotta remember that.

[Consolida]

^ So good to hear that you've finally got your mojo back Biscuits!

[Mo34]

Tired and a bit stiff and sore. Bit better for having a bath.
Did an extra morning at animal sanctuary.

[Silent Ninja]

Glad I got through my first day back at work, with only one real moment of building anxiety when I thought I'd made a stupid mistake.

[Silent Ninja]

^ Thanks Biscuits.


I did have a slice of chocolate and caramel cheesecake at tea-time

[Consolida]

Originally Posted by Silent Ninja

Glad I got through my first day back at work, with only one real moment of building anxiety when I thought I'd made a stupid mistake.

Glad your first day back went okay Ninja. I hope today is a good one for you too



Feeling so dreadfully worried about someone I love I need to be a bit stronger today so I can try to support them through it.

[Schmosby]

Stuffed full of burrito.

[Professor Willow]

Fuzzy headed, had a migraine yesterday and its still lingering.

[Professor Willow]

Rather despondent - I realised that in 6 years I have gone from having about 25k in savings to being just under 5k in debt.
Thank you so much CFS

[Merritt]

Disappointed. Was going to try to get tickets for something in November that go on sale tomorrow morning, but apparently it's almost entirely sold out already through pre-sale shenanigans. Another show's been announced, but it's in a much smaller venue so I don't hold much hope I'll be able to get a ticket for that either. Was kind of bigging it up to myself as my 'reason to trudge through 2019'. Oh well.

[Merritt]

It was the Mountain Goats. I was really psyching myself up to be a brave boy and go see them Not sure I'd even want to go to the other show, looks like it's standing only and I'm a titch so I'd just be staring at the back of someone's head the whole time.

That's a shame you missed them Who was it? Let me guess, was it... Black Lace, and David Dickinson? Our immune systems do that on purpose, I'm convinced. It's happened to me too, perfectly timed for the one thing I was going to do all year.

[Silent Ninja]

Bad day today, keep triggering minor anxiety attacks, they do seem to pass though maybe the Citalopram is starting to work on me a bit (only been on it for just over a week so maybe not).

[anxiouslondoner]

Can't see a compelling reason to be conscious at the moment. Sad really.

[Toxic]

I think I've lost the capacity to learn anything new

I used to pick stuff up very quickly, now it just seems to go right through me

Maybe I'm tired but it aint half depressing.

[Schmosby]

Originally Posted by Toxic

now it just seems to go right through me

It goes right through me too, must be all the fruit smoothies.

[Consolida]

^ I feel exactly the same way as you Perhaps.
I don't think some people realise quite how much a supportive word and just a tiny bit of feedback means to people who are feeling very lonely and isolated within their lives. I honestly wish more people would take just a minute or two out of their supposedly busy lives to post. When SAUK eventually sinks without a trace folk might then realise how valuable this forum actually was


@ anxiouslondoner I so wish I could say something helpful, apart from 'I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way at the moment and that in time it will pass.'
Do you have any holidays/trips to look forward to? I remember that you often go to such nice places

[Merritt]

Turns out I got mixed up and the show I heard was sold out was a different one, and getting a ticket for the one I wanted to go to was actually really easy, so I'm feeling slightly more cheerful today knowing there's something worth staying alive for, at least this year.