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Our sexless, mentally ill future
I have just been reading a fascinating article about our declining interest in sex. I mean actual sex with another human being. In 2008, 7% of 20-somethings had had "no sex in the last year." In 2018, just ten years later, that figure had risen to nearly 25%! It is no coincidence that in both the UK and the US, rates of depression among teens have also risen by 70%. Which begs the question what the **** is going on? Why is this happening?
It can't just be internet porn. I'm sure that plays a massive part in the loss of interest, of course. Not only does it use up a huge amount of sexual energy, it also rewires the brain to associate orgasm with passive watching. But there must be more going on. The number of young people not having sex has trebled in just a decade. That's an amazing figure. I blame our 24-hour news culture. You just can't escape. And how much of it is good? Virtually none. We are basically pumped full of fear from the minute we wake up, roll over and switch on our Iphone. Before people have even climbed out of bed, they've read some terrifying new headline: "Climate change even worse than feared," "world population to hit 10 billion by 2030," "Iran restarts nuclear research" etc. Stress and fear kill your libido and increase your chances of depression. The author of the article labels this a "doom-obsessed generation," many of whom "aren't exactly thrilled to be here." |
#2
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Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future
Internet porn may have something to do with it, but possibly the internet in general. The further back in time we go the less there was to do, for younger people particularly, so what did they spend their time doing..... Now we have Netflix and Amazon, the internet on our phones, online games to play and social media to be communicating with people all the time.
I'm not sure if this is something to be worried about or not. If young people are having less risky sex, less unwanted or coersive sex, less sex that they can't remember because of drink or drugs, if there are lower levels of teenage pregnancies and STDs then that's good. But if people aren't connecting with others in that way as much any more or if people are wanting to have sex bit can't then that's more of a worry. |
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#9
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Probably in line with the "alpha male" theories of the PUA/evolutionary psychology school of thought. |
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I've done a quick google and I found this paper: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2833377/ Quote:
The results imply a much, much smaller skew than the 4:1 ratio. I also found this article from The Irish Times which has highly entertaining information about penis shapes and testicle sizes, which I will let you read for yourselves, but it concludes with his interesting paragraph: Quote:
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#11
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Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future
I've always had a lower sex drive than most men since my teens, it used to be a problem, but now I'm glad for it. I'm not chasing things and having it always on my mind like my friends do. I have a libido.for food and computer games.
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#12
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Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future
Interesting, I've heard similar figures before but they go directly against the rise of online dating use and apps such as tinder. Sometimes we're lead to believe 20 somethings are dating a new person each night.
Maybe the reality is that the move towards getting married and having children later, and dating more, means less sex is happening because a lot of younger people aren't in relationships or having many second, third or fourth dates. They're getting through dates like selling hot cakes but it isn't materialising into sex as often as people think? I think a mixture of media and the internet may play a big factor. We know more than ever and so are more scared than ever. Like you say Moksha we're bombarded with doom and gloom 24 hours a day. Communities are almost dead in many parts of the country. The more crowded places are the less people are likely to know their neighbours and perhaps so many of us are living in virtual worlds the majority of the time. Or...they're all fussy sods nowadays and no one wants to sleep with a less than 9/10. |
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#15
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Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future
Internet porn must be a factor. I've also heard there is a growing trend for chastity outside of marriage among the middle-class young and less promiscuity (not sure about this). The other thing I wonder about is the changing power relations between men and women, which although it has brought great benefit to western society, has possibly had the effect of blurring gender roles and emasculating young men. Perhaps it's also raised women's expectations of men who in turn have become more intimidated.
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#18
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Edit: By the way I'm not having digs at women, so if it comes across that way it's unintended. |
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#21
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Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future
Did people used to have more sex because there was nothing better to do?
I'm lucky that I have libido of a paper bag because I'm not exactly flooded with offers, nor does it bother me. Theres a lot more things I'd rather be doing! |
#22
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Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future
The fact nobody else is getting any either, does make me feel slightly better!
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#24
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Maybe this is why I'm mentally ill - lack of sex!
All these years I've been popping antidepressants when I should have been out shagging lol If sex is the cure then I'm destined to be mentally ****ed for life. |
#25
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Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future
I have a very low libido these days
When I was a younger man (late teens) I had several sexual partners I just can't be bothered anymore, I'd rather read a good book |
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Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future
It seems to me that for many people who aren't in a sexual relationship that's all they ever think about and those that are in long term relationships would much rather have a bar of Dairy Milk Chocolate. Which we can't at the moment because my husband and I are both on a ruddy diet
As the saying goes, the grass is always greener - not |
#27
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I've got little interest in sex even though it's available to me. I find it an inconvenient chore. Masturbation is a better option although I'd rather sleep than masturbate.
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#29
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Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future
Of course, most of you will be aware that I am not one of the 20-somethings mentioned in the OP (in fact it is 20-something years since I was a 20-something!), so I am blissfully unaware of the statistical fall in sexual activity. However, I am aware that sexuality is changing and that in the modern world, it is more acceptable for people not to be sexually driven; sexuality is changing and asexuality is now more commonplace (indeed, my own stepdaughter has declared herself asexual, as are some of her friends), so perhaps this is a reason why more people are prepared to admit that they have not had sexual activity within the last 12 months?
I'm not sure that "doom and gloom" has a negative effect on sexual activity; the "sexual revolution" of the 1960s was attributed in part to the Cold War and the Cuban Missile Crisis, when many people thought that the world would end any day, so that promiscuity was unlikely to have consequences (of course, it is just as likely that the availability of the contraceptive pill was also a major factor). The free love generation then spawned another which grew up in a world where rock stars and film icons seemed to be engaged in endless orgies, until the mid-1980s when AIDS made us think more responsibly, whilst more recently changes in legislation, publicity about consent and high-profile sexual misconduct cases have also added to the way we think about our sexual behaviour. Perhaps, as has been highlighted in previous posts, young people today have more options and the sexual imperative is not so strong; it is not a bad thing if we are less fuelled by the bravado of others and more capable of thinking about what we want as individuals, capable of waiting for the right person instead of mindlessly adding notches to bedposts. |
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Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future
^
interesting point, I think there's a lot of truth in that, we do all seem to be becoming more predominantly cerebral in nature, or at least heavily focused in the head, and less energy and focus is being directed to our bodies, seems like there's more of a "me" culture now too, people seem more focused on the trivialities of personality and behaviour and not being brought to any fundamental levels of themselves as much. people are focusing so much on trivial external things, even slight remarks or momentary faux pas are blown up into seemingly large affairs now in the media. maybe modern western culture has things too easy and are now finding themselves a bit lost in sense of direction and just being generally less grounded in their own physical reality? I liked a comment from someone years ago, he said that the human mind is simply akin to a typewriter,. nothing more,. and should be considered as such. but today, we seem to be giving thought and opinion so much weight and significance, and yet, the emotional centre and our inner being and our physical bodies are pretty much overlooked in terms of significance. |