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  #1  
Old 18th April 2019, 16:20
Moksha Moksha is offline
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Default Our sexless, mentally ill future

I have just been reading a fascinating article about our declining interest in sex. I mean actual sex with another human being. In 2008, 7% of 20-somethings had had "no sex in the last year." In 2018, just ten years later, that figure had risen to nearly 25%! It is no coincidence that in both the UK and the US, rates of depression among teens have also risen by 70%. Which begs the question what the **** is going on? Why is this happening?

It can't just be internet porn. I'm sure that plays a massive part in the loss of interest, of course. Not only does it use up a huge amount of sexual energy, it also rewires the brain to associate orgasm with passive watching. But there must be more going on. The number of young people not having sex has trebled in just a decade. That's an amazing figure.

I blame our 24-hour news culture. You just can't escape. And how much of it is good? Virtually none. We are basically pumped full of fear from the minute we wake up, roll over and switch on our Iphone. Before people have even climbed out of bed, they've read some terrifying new headline: "Climate change even worse than feared," "world population to hit 10 billion by 2030," "Iran restarts nuclear research" etc. Stress and fear kill your libido and increase your chances of depression. The author of the article labels this a "doom-obsessed generation," many of whom "aren't exactly thrilled to be here."
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Old 18th April 2019, 16:42
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Internet porn may have something to do with it, but possibly the internet in general. The further back in time we go the less there was to do, for younger people particularly, so what did they spend their time doing..... Now we have Netflix and Amazon, the internet on our phones, online games to play and social media to be communicating with people all the time.


I'm not sure if this is something to be worried about or not. If young people are having less risky sex, less unwanted or coersive sex, less sex that they can't remember because of drink or drugs, if there are lower levels of teenage pregnancies and STDs then that's good. But if people aren't connecting with others in that way as much any more or if people are wanting to have sex bit can't then that's more of a worry.
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Old 18th April 2019, 17:15
Copernicium Copernicium is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Quote:
Originally Posted by HermannHesse
- for every 5 women that reproduce 1 man does
I don't follow.
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  #4  
Old 18th April 2019, 17:59
Copernicium Copernicium is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Quote:
Originally Posted by HermannHesse
Perhaps I was exaggerating. However since the agricultural revolution reproduction ratios have been disjointed, e.g 17 women passed on their genes for every 1 man who did 8000 years ago. It averages out today globally as four women breeding for every one male, ruling out extreme cases like Ghenghis Khan whose dna is found in 1/200 of every male on the planet. Humans do not pair off 1:1 - think of all the single mums left behind by a single man. The result is that more men than women are genetic dead ends with no stake in the future.
I'm scratching my head. You are saying that there are 4 times as many mothers in the world as fathers?
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Old 18th April 2019, 18:24
Just.Fin Just.Fin is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hylian
Women are out of their boxes, loser men have had our boxes sealed shut as a result.

There is no alternative. No need for butthurt.

Porn is pretty good anyway.
Hahah i salute that. And also in an over crowded world the decline in shagging and teen pregnancies seems like for of a good thing.
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  #6  
Old 18th April 2019, 18:41
Mr. Spaceman Mr. Spaceman is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

I'm sure changing demographics play a part in this as well
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Old 18th April 2019, 18:58
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Quote:
Originally Posted by Copernicium
I'm scratching my head. You are saying that there are 4 times as many mothers in the world as fathers?
I'm confused also, doesn't it take a woman and a man to produce a baby? Or maybe he's saying certain men are having children with more than one woman and that's skewing the statistics. Although in days gone by that was also common as many more women died in childbirth and men then went on to have children with someone else.
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  #8  
Old 18th April 2019, 19:06
Tom Morello Tom Morello is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

I blame Tinder for all of life's problems
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  #9  
Old 18th April 2019, 19:20
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Quote:
Originally Posted by Copernicium
I'm scratching my head. You are saying that there are 4 times as many mothers in the world as fathers?
I think the gist of his argument is that a minority of men are sleeping around with more men, in other words have a greater number of sexual partners.

Probably in line with the "alpha male" theories of the PUA/evolutionary psychology school of thought.
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  #10  
Old 18th April 2019, 19:40
Copernicium Copernicium is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Quote:
Originally Posted by Percy
I think the gist of his argument is that a minority of men are sleeping around with more men, in other words have a greater number of sexual partners.

Probably in line with the "alpha male" theories of the PUA/evolutionary psychology school of thought.
I can believe there is a slight skew in the male female breeding ratio, but it is the 4:1 figure I found startling.

I've done a quick google and I found this paper:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2833377/

Quote:
Was the past genetic contribution of women and men to the current human population equal? Was polygyny (excess of breeding women) present among hominid lineages? We addressed these questions by measuring the ratio of population recombination rates between the X chromosome and the autosomes, ***961;X/***961;A. The X chromosome recombines only in female meiosis, whereas autosomes undergo crossovers in both sexes; thus, ***961;X/***961;A reflects the female-to-male breeding ratio, ***946;. We estimated ***946; from ***961;X/***961;A inferred from genomic diversity data and calibrated with recombination rates derived from pedigree data. For the HapMap populations, we obtained ***946; of 1.4 in the Yoruba from West Africa, 1.3 in Europeans, and 1.1 in East Asian samples. These values are consistent with a high prevalence of monogamy and limited polygyny in human populations.
(Sorry for the asterisks in the quote, it is too complicated for me to fix. Go to the link to read the original. The Discussion at the end of the paper goes into more detail.)

The results imply a much, much smaller skew than the 4:1 ratio.

I also found this article from The Irish Times which has highly entertaining information about penis shapes and testicle sizes, which I will let you read for yourselves, but it concludes with his interesting paragraph:
Quote:
In the modern human world monogamy is far more widely practised than polygamy. Polygamy is legal in 58 out of almost 200 sovereign states; the great majority being Muslim countries in Asia and Africa, but polygamist marriage is not recognized in the rest of the world. I don't think polyandry, where one woman has more than one husband, is legally recognised anywhere.
https://www.irishtimes.com/news/scie...mous-1.3643373
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  #11  
Old 18th April 2019, 20:24
BritishPeace BritishPeace is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

I've always had a lower sex drive than most men since my teens, it used to be a problem, but now I'm glad for it. I'm not chasing things and having it always on my mind like my friends do. I have a libido.for food and computer games.
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  #12  
Old 18th April 2019, 20:38
Change Change is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Interesting, I've heard similar figures before but they go directly against the rise of online dating use and apps such as tinder. Sometimes we're lead to believe 20 somethings are dating a new person each night.

Maybe the reality is that the move towards getting married and having children later, and dating more, means less sex is happening because a lot of younger people aren't in relationships or having many second, third or fourth dates. They're getting through dates like selling hot cakes but it isn't materialising into sex as often as people think?

I think a mixture of media and the internet may play a big factor. We know more than ever and so are more scared than ever. Like you say Moksha we're bombarded with doom and gloom 24 hours a day.

Communities are almost dead in many parts of the country. The more crowded places are the less people are likely to know their neighbours and perhaps so many of us are living in virtual worlds the majority of the time.

Or...they're all fussy sods nowadays and no one wants to sleep with a less than 9/10.
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  #13  
Old 18th April 2019, 20:54
limey123 limey123 is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Quote:
Originally Posted by HermannHesse
the atomisation of human society and the lack of sexual opportunity for many.
Really? It seems to me it's never been easier to "hook up" if that's what you want to do?
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  #14  
Old 18th April 2019, 21:05
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hylian
OK Cupid had an article showing their findings like 6 or 7 years ago. Men rated women's attractiveness on the expected bell curve, women rated around 80% of men as below average.

I think they've since deleted the article or it just fell off the edge of the internet by mistake, but you can find the old mentions of it on various forums if you google.
You're probably going to disagree massively with me here but I wonder if that's because for women, attractiveness isn't based solely on looks. (And no I don't mean how much they earn!) So meeting someone, hearing their voice, getting to know their personality is a lot more important in whether a woman is attracted to a man. Maybe only the most conventionally attractive men were being rated as such because of this.
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Old 18th April 2019, 21:10
Marco Marco is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Internet porn must be a factor. I've also heard there is a growing trend for chastity outside of marriage among the middle-class young and less promiscuity (not sure about this). The other thing I wonder about is the changing power relations between men and women, which although it has brought great benefit to western society, has possibly had the effect of blurring gender roles and emasculating young men. Perhaps it's also raised women's expectations of men who in turn have become more intimidated.
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Old 18th April 2019, 21:17
Tom Morello Tom Morello is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Quote:
Originally Posted by Change
Interesting, I've heard similar figures before but they go directly against the rise of online dating use and apps such as tinder. Sometimes we're lead to believe 20 somethings are dating a new person each night.

Maybe the reality is that the move towards getting married and having children later, and dating more, means less sex is happening because a lot of younger people aren't in relationships or having many second, third or fourth dates. They're getting through dates like selling hot cakes but it isn't materialising into sex as often as people think?

I think a mixture of media and the internet may play a big factor. We know more than ever and so are more scared than ever. Like you say Moksha we're bombarded with doom and gloom 24 hours a day.

Communities are almost dead in many parts of the country. The more crowded places are the less people are likely to know their neighbours and perhaps so many of us are living in virtual worlds the majority of the time.

Or...they're all fussy sods nowadays and no one wants to sleep with a less than 9/10.
Dating apps are piss poor if you want sex. I'm an "average" man, and getting women to even respond is hard enough let alone working towards anything more, and my online "game" is about as good as it gets now. It's a lot easier to watch porn or whatever to get relief of your sexual urges than **** about with these apps. If I didn't want a meaningful relationship and only wanted sex then I wouldn't bother. Average and below men on the whole are not having much sex from apps, I'm pretty certain of it. Trouble is more and more young people now rely on apps, going out in the real world to meet someone feels too time consuming.
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  #17  
Old 18th April 2019, 21:19
Orwell20 Orwell20 is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Quote:
Originally Posted by BritishPeace
I've always had a lower sex drive than most men since my teens, it used to be a problem, but now I'm glad for it. .
ditto. To be brutally honest, I've had far more pleasure and happiness from drugs, TV, books and food than from sex. Frankly, the whole rigmarole of dating and sex has often been a pain in ar*e. In general, it's massively overrated - certainly has been for me. I welcome VR, sexbots, and all that. It would save so much time. (Of course, making love, where the sex is deep, tender, etc is a different thing - that will never be replaced.)
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  #18  
Old 18th April 2019, 21:25
Tom Morello Tom Morello is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hylian
I'm more of the mind that most men are hideously ugly. It's rare you ever see a man who doesn't look like a turnip.
The "ugly" women can show some cleavage and wear layers of make-up to elevate their level. Men haven't got an easy option, best we can do is either hit the gym (still useless for many) or grow a beard (if you can of course).


Edit: By the way I'm not having digs at women, so if it comes across that way it's unintended.
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Old 18th April 2019, 21:44
Change Change is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hylian
I'm more of the mind that most men are hideously ugly. It's rare you ever see a man who doesn't look like a turnip.
I laughed out loud at this
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Old 18th April 2019, 22:57
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hylian
I'm more of the mind that most men are hideously ugly. It's rare you ever see a man who doesn't look like a turnip.
Well you're most definitely heterosexual
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Old 19th April 2019, 08:11
Toxic Toxic is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Did people used to have more sex because there was nothing better to do?

I'm lucky that I have libido of a paper bag because I'm not exactly flooded with offers, nor does it bother me. Theres a lot more things I'd rather be doing!
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Old 19th April 2019, 12:11
Silent Treatment Silent Treatment is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

The fact nobody else is getting any either, does make me feel slightly better!
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Old 19th April 2019, 14:58
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toxic
Did people used to have more sex because there was nothing better to do?

I'm lucky that I have libido of a paper bag because I'm not exactly flooded with offers, nor does it bother me. Theres a lot more things I'd rather be doing!
I think so.
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Old 19th April 2019, 15:36
Professor Willow Professor Willow is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Maybe this is why I'm mentally ill - lack of sex!

All these years I've been popping antidepressants when I should have been out shagging lol

If sex is the cure then I'm destined to be mentally ****ed for life.
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  #25  
Old 19th April 2019, 16:37
DeeH DeeH is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

I have a very low libido these days

When I was a younger man (late teens) I had several sexual partners

I just can't be bothered anymore, I'd rather read a good book
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  #26  
Old 19th April 2019, 16:43
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

It seems to me that for many people who aren't in a sexual relationship that's all they ever think about and those that are in long term relationships would much rather have a bar of Dairy Milk Chocolate. Which we can't at the moment because my husband and I are both on a ruddy diet

As the saying goes, the grass is always greener - not
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Old 19th April 2019, 17:02
Schmosby Schmosby is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

I've got little interest in sex even though it's available to me. I find it an inconvenient chore. Masturbation is a better option although I'd rather sleep than masturbate.
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  #28  
Old 19th April 2019, 17:29
Orwell20 Orwell20 is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Quote:
Originally Posted by Schmosby
I've got little interest in sex even though it's available to me. I find it an inconvenient chore. Masturbation is a better option although I'd rather sleep than masturbate.
For a lot of people, internet porn isn't a bad substitute. To put it crudely, I have had some wonderful w*nks. Better than some of the real sex I've had. Maybe that's why the young are having less sex - because internet porn is often better than the real thing! I think sexbots, VR sex and top of the range sex dolls/sex doll brothels, etc, will be great. They'll save so much mess, manipulation, lying, disappointment and humiliation. And they may be better than a lot of casual sex.
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  #29  
Old 20th April 2019, 00:30
gregarious_introvert gregarious_introvert is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

Of course, most of you will be aware that I am not one of the 20-somethings mentioned in the OP (in fact it is 20-something years since I was a 20-something!), so I am blissfully unaware of the statistical fall in sexual activity. However, I am aware that sexuality is changing and that in the modern world, it is more acceptable for people not to be sexually driven; sexuality is changing and asexuality is now more commonplace (indeed, my own stepdaughter has declared herself asexual, as are some of her friends), so perhaps this is a reason why more people are prepared to admit that they have not had sexual activity within the last 12 months?

I'm not sure that "doom and gloom" has a negative effect on sexual activity; the "sexual revolution" of the 1960s was attributed in part to the Cold War and the Cuban Missile Crisis, when many people thought that the world would end any day, so that promiscuity was unlikely to have consequences (of course, it is just as likely that the availability of the contraceptive pill was also a major factor). The free love generation then spawned another which grew up in a world where rock stars and film icons seemed to be engaged in endless orgies, until the mid-1980s when AIDS made us think more responsibly, whilst more recently changes in legislation, publicity about consent and high-profile sexual misconduct cases have also added to the way we think about our sexual behaviour.


Perhaps, as has been highlighted in previous posts, young people today have more options and the sexual imperative is not so strong; it is not a bad thing if we are less fuelled by the bravado of others and more capable of thinking about what we want as individuals, capable of waiting for the right person instead of mindlessly adding notches to bedposts.
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Old 26th April 2019, 10:12
Mr. Nobody Mr. Nobody is offline
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Default Re: Our sexless, mentally ill future

^
interesting point, I think there's a lot of truth in that,
we do all seem to be becoming more predominantly cerebral in nature, or at least heavily focused in the head, and less energy and focus is being directed to our bodies,

seems like there's more of a "me" culture now too, people seem more focused on the trivialities of personality and behaviour and not being brought to any fundamental levels of themselves as much.

people are focusing so much on trivial external things, even slight remarks or momentary faux pas are blown up into seemingly large affairs now in the media.
maybe modern western culture has things too easy and are now finding themselves a bit lost in sense of direction and just being generally less grounded in their own physical reality?

I liked a comment from someone years ago, he said that the human mind is simply akin to a typewriter,. nothing more,. and should be considered as such.
but today, we seem to be giving thought and opinion so much weight and significance, and yet, the emotional centre and our inner being and our physical bodies are pretty much overlooked in terms of significance.
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