#241
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
There are so many posts on here that I can relate to, so I don't usually comment in this thread because I don't think I have much to add, but does anyone else cover up all of the mirrors in their homes?
Covering mirrors only helps to a certain degree though, and I was in my kitchen a few minutes ago and caught a glimpse of myself on the side of my toaster and wasn't enamoured with my appearance. I know that most people would struggle to look attractive on that kind of surface, but still. It's one of those black "diamond" toasters, and one of the reasons I got it was because you can't see yourself on the front panels - it just has a bit of shiny stainless steel on the sides. It seems silly talking about this because most people wouldn't give it another thought, but sometimes I've got to look at myself even though I hate what I see. |
#242
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
My son was making videos over Christmas and seeing myself on film has really made me feel awful, I looked so revolting. It***8217;s depressing when you actually believe you***8217;re looking relatively okay after making an effort, just to see evidence that you***8217;re a hideous blob.
I***8217;m trying not to dwell on it but it***8217;s difficult. |
#243
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
I was recorded in a video a while back, a few months ago, I couldn't bring myself to even look at it. I had to try and pretend it never existed and no-one saw it.
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#244
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
Does anyone else obsess over taking pictures of themselves? I haven't had someone else take a picture of me for years but when I take them myself I obsess over picking every flaw apart. I literally take them just to bully myself and feel bad/suicidal, it's like a punishment for being so disgusting.
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#245
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
I don't usually visit this thread because I don't have BDD and I think it's really difficult for someone without it to understand how someone with it feels - there's also a tendency to tell sufferers that they look good, which is (I have learned) never helpful, even though it's usually true. However, even though I don't suffer with BDD, there are posts here which resonate with me: I don't, for instance, have a mirror in my house (I was chatting to someone on meetup recently and discovered that most people use a mirror when cleaning their teeth, which is something I've never even considered - I was told I was "weird", but that's hardly new!) and I won't allow anyone to take my photograph (when I'm visiting a new city and I do the free walking tour, I'm always the one who takes the group photograph at the end, so that the tour guide can be in it but I don't have to be). I've never managed to take a "selfie" (how on earth does anyone do that?) but I did attempt to take one of myself and my ex-fiancée the day after we got engaged - I looked terrible (not least because I was too busy concentrating on how to take the picture, which made me look depressed); that was the last photograph of me ever taken, some nine-and-a-half months ago.
Although I don't have BDD (unless I'm in denial), I've never been happy with the way I look and I can understand those of you who avoid mirrors and cameras; over the years, I've learned to live with myself because other people don't seem to find me totally repulsive, but I still don't understand how anyone could find me (physically) attractive (obviously, my outstanding personality and extreme modesty compensate for what I lack in looks) but I've learned to accept that a (very small) minority do (or at least did - it doesn't happen at my age any more). When I do see myself, I don't see someone hideous or alien, but I do see someone whom I consider deeply unattractive. Sorry for intruding, I shall now leave this thread to those who really need it... |
#246
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
I can relate to so many of the comments here! MLP James , I know exactly what it feels like to see yourself on a video recording! My eldest nephew got married recently and I had to do a speech at the reception as I was one of his two best men.
Mercifully it appears that my speech wasn't filmed, although some of the others were! My wife and I were at my newly married nephew's recently and I was my usual bag of nerves.My horror increased when he announced that we could see the wedding video. My wife was very keen and I had to pretend to be keen too! I had to pretend to look at the screen when I came into shot but I was really fixing my attention on the wall. I sneaked a quick look at one point and almost died of embarrassment. To think that person was me. It was a blessed relief when it was finally over and when we left the house to return home I was still sweaty and stressed! |
#247
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
^ think most of us can relate beewiz. I'm sure many Will like your ' weirdness' and those that don't aren't worth worrying about. We can't please the world
Unleash the weirdness gal. |
#249
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
Biscuits, I agree with Miggs and Claire, your unique and awesome, I don't alway's post but some of your replies have made me laugh a lot and put a smile on my face when I have been feeling crappy, your hilarious and anyone would be lucky to have you.
Said it before and i'll say it again, having seen pics of people on here, there are a lot of attractive people who obviously don't know they are. Obviously that's because bdd literally changes what you see in the mirror and warps reality. Wouldn't say I feel thrilled about being on film and I actually told my dad off for filming me at xmas but I wouldn't say I have bdd, when I was younger I probably did but now I have mostly good days and accept that i'm average looking like the majority of people. |
#251
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
A hoodie might get you noticed...
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#252
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
You know that feeling when you're just about used to how you look in the mirror - you don't like it, but you're used to it - and then you see yourself in a video, and whole new dimensions of hideousness are brought back? The other day my mum showed me a video on her phone of our family a couple of Christmases ago, and, urgh, my face, my body language, my weird inane smile...
It's really difficult to accept that I'm me sometimes. |
#253
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
Quote:
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#254
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
^/^^ me too
I've been obsessing how my glasses make my nose look bigger, I'm fully prepared and looking into getting laser surgery. I ended up taking pics of all angles and now I hate myself, it's like a compulsion. Ugh. |
#255
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
Do contacts not work for you?
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#256
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
I used them a few years ago, and they were such a hassle. Do you wear them?
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#257
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
No, I don't need glasses. I'm sure you look fine with them though.
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#258
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
Does anyone else turn compliments about your appearance into something negative, further proof that you look as 'wrong' as you think you do? I was asked my age today, and the person seemed genuinely surprised when I told them, doing the 'what's your secret?' thing and all that. In a way it's nice, but almost immediately I was turning it into something to beat myself up with. Like, is it bad that I don't look my age? Isn't that just more proof that I don't look the way I should? If I really am the alien/robot/mutant clumsily wearing a human skin that I feel like, I probably wouldn't look my age, would I? It'd be another detail I'd gotten wrong.
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#259
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
Quote:
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#261
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
In my case, no. It doesn't change. The way I look remains depressingly the same.
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#262
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
I hate it when others take photos of me, it's like my ears and nose become bigger and my squinty left eye becomes even more noticeable. I record myself regularly (I know) to convince myself I look ok and generally it works, but when I see those odd photos it knocks my confidence.
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#263
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
I made the mistake of watching Ugly Me- My life with body dysmorphia. Wow, It's really triggered me. I could relate so much.
Part of me kept thinking yeah but I'm actually ugly and there's no help for that. I don't think I'll ever be able to improve the way I see myself. |
#264
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
Thanks Biscuits, that's really kind of you
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#265
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
That view was spoken about on the programme. To recognise you may have BDD is to admit to yourself that you're seeing things/there's something psychological going on.
I always tell myself maybe I'm just ugly and can't deal with that, that people are lying to me etc. Great post Biscuits. |
#266
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
^ I don't reckon that comment from the lady in Tesco was about your weight. If you hear a woman can't drink, the first guess is always pregnancy - regardless of one's rotundity.
It's interesting that you think it's become more acceptable to comment on people's weight more generally. I wonder if the NHS's increasing emphasis on weight management as a means to prevent illness and save it money has made weight more of a prominent public concern? One thing I've always found quite interesting in my extended family is that most of the women readily comment on the weight of men in the family, but will very rarely comment each other's. I'm frequently told I'm 'too' skinny, and my dad's weight (and general appearance) is often playfully mocked. I know it's never meant in a mean way, but I often wonder how they would react if we were to turn the tables. Not favourably, I don't think. (I'm not saying this is a reflection of stuff generally - just how it seems to be in my family.) |
#267
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
I think it's normal to think you look all right on some days and like a troll on others. To other people you probably look the same.
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#268
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
I***8217;m obsessing over nose jobs.... again. I can spend hours researching surgeries. I***8217;m feeling particularly monstrous today.
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#269
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
Does anyone ever feel like they want to make themselves uglier to reinforce their belief that they are ugly? Like how you can exist in a place where you're convinced you're hideous, but other people try to put a positive spin on your appearance, and you almost wish you were ugly in a clearly obvious, objective way so they could really see what you see?
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#270
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Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder
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