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  #241  
Old 17th December 2017, 00:47
Jane Doe Jane Doe is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

There are so many posts on here that I can relate to, so I don't usually comment in this thread because I don't think I have much to add, but does anyone else cover up all of the mirrors in their homes?

Covering mirrors only helps to a certain degree though, and I was in my kitchen a few minutes ago and caught a glimpse of myself on the side of my toaster and wasn't enamoured with my appearance. I know that most people would struggle to look attractive on that kind of surface, but still. It's one of those black "diamond" toasters, and one of the reasons I got it was because you can't see yourself on the front panels - it just has a bit of shiny stainless steel on the sides.

It seems silly talking about this because most people wouldn't give it another thought, but sometimes I've got to look at myself even though I hate what I see.
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  #242  
Old 27th December 2017, 10:08
Clementine Clementine is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

My son was making videos over Christmas and seeing myself on film has really made me feel awful, I looked so revolting. It***8217;s depressing when you actually believe you***8217;re looking relatively okay after making an effort, just to see evidence that you***8217;re a hideous blob.
I***8217;m trying not to dwell on it but it***8217;s difficult.
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  #243  
Old 27th December 2017, 11:11
MLP James MLP James is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I was recorded in a video a while back, a few months ago, I couldn't bring myself to even look at it. I had to try and pretend it never existed and no-one saw it.
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  #244  
Old 24th January 2018, 04:40
blancmange blancmange is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Does anyone else obsess over taking pictures of themselves? I haven't had someone else take a picture of me for years but when I take them myself I obsess over picking every flaw apart. I literally take them just to bully myself and feel bad/suicidal, it's like a punishment for being so disgusting.
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  #245  
Old 24th January 2018, 14:20
gregarious_introvert gregarious_introvert is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I don't usually visit this thread because I don't have BDD and I think it's really difficult for someone without it to understand how someone with it feels - there's also a tendency to tell sufferers that they look good, which is (I have learned) never helpful, even though it's usually true. However, even though I don't suffer with BDD, there are posts here which resonate with me: I don't, for instance, have a mirror in my house (I was chatting to someone on meetup recently and discovered that most people use a mirror when cleaning their teeth, which is something I've never even considered - I was told I was "weird", but that's hardly new!) and I won't allow anyone to take my photograph (when I'm visiting a new city and I do the free walking tour, I'm always the one who takes the group photograph at the end, so that the tour guide can be in it but I don't have to be). I've never managed to take a "selfie" (how on earth does anyone do that?) but I did attempt to take one of myself and my ex-fiancée the day after we got engaged - I looked terrible (not least because I was too busy concentrating on how to take the picture, which made me look depressed); that was the last photograph of me ever taken, some nine-and-a-half months ago.

Although I don't have BDD (unless I'm in denial), I've never been happy with the way I look and I can understand those of you who avoid mirrors and cameras; over the years, I've learned to live with myself because other people don't seem to find me totally repulsive, but I still don't understand how anyone could find me (physically) attractive (obviously, my outstanding personality and extreme modesty compensate for what I lack in looks) but I've learned to accept that a (very small) minority do (or at least did - it doesn't happen at my age any more). When I do see myself, I don't see someone hideous or alien, but I do see someone whom I consider deeply unattractive.

Sorry for intruding, I shall now leave this thread to those who really need it...
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  #246  
Old 24th January 2018, 23:41
Kipper Kipper is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I can relate to so many of the comments here! MLP James , I know exactly what it feels like to see yourself on a video recording! My eldest nephew got married recently and I had to do a speech at the reception as I was one of his two best men.
Mercifully it appears that my speech wasn't filmed, although some of the others were! My wife and I were at my newly married nephew's recently and I was my usual bag of nerves.My horror increased when he announced that we could see the wedding video. My wife was very keen and I had to pretend to be keen too!
I had to pretend to look at the screen when I came into shot but I was really fixing my attention on the wall.
I sneaked a quick look at one point and almost died of embarrassment. To think that person was me.
It was a blessed relief when it was finally over and when we left the house to return home I was still sweaty and stressed!
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  #247  
Old 13th February 2018, 23:05
kirbycrackle kirbycrackle is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ think most of us can relate beewiz. I'm sure many Will like your ' weirdness' and those that don't aren't worth worrying about. We can't please the world

Unleash the weirdness gal.
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  #248  
Old 13th February 2018, 23:11
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^^ One day you'll meet someone who loves your weirdness. I think you're lovely and not weird at all.
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  #249  
Old 14th February 2018, 20:06
Jason90 Jason90 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Biscuits, I agree with Miggs and Claire, your unique and awesome, I don't alway's post but some of your replies have made me laugh a lot and put a smile on my face when I have been feeling crappy, your hilarious and anyone would be lucky to have you.

Said it before and i'll say it again, having seen pics of people on here, there are a lot of attractive people who obviously don't know they are. Obviously that's because bdd literally changes what you see in the mirror and warps reality. Wouldn't say I feel thrilled about being on film and I actually told my dad off for filming me at xmas but I wouldn't say I have bdd, when I was younger I probably did but now I have mostly good days and accept that i'm average looking like the majority of people.
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  #250  
Old 18th February 2018, 21:27
AireleeBray AireleeBray is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

.
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  #251  
Old 23rd February 2018, 09:01
limey123 limey123 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

A hoodie might get you noticed...
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  #252  
Old 15th March 2018, 21:41
Merritt Merritt is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

You know that feeling when you're just about used to how you look in the mirror - you don't like it, but you're used to it - and then you see yourself in a video, and whole new dimensions of hideousness are brought back? The other day my mum showed me a video on her phone of our family a couple of Christmases ago, and, urgh, my face, my body language, my weird inane smile...

It's really difficult to accept that I'm me sometimes.
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  #253  
Old 16th March 2018, 10:41
limey123 limey123 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by Merritt
It's really difficult to accept that I'm me sometimes.
Can relate...
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  #254  
Old 16th March 2018, 17:48
blancmange blancmange is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^/^^ me too

I've been obsessing how my glasses make my nose look bigger, I'm fully prepared and looking into getting laser surgery. I ended up taking pics of all angles and now I hate myself, it's like a compulsion. Ugh.
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  #255  
Old 16th March 2018, 21:07
limey123 limey123 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Do contacts not work for you?
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  #256  
Old 16th March 2018, 22:01
blancmange blancmange is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I used them a few years ago, and they were such a hassle. Do you wear them?
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  #257  
Old 17th March 2018, 14:18
limey123 limey123 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

No, I don't need glasses. I'm sure you look fine with them though.
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  #258  
Old 4th April 2018, 17:42
Merritt Merritt is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Does anyone else turn compliments about your appearance into something negative, further proof that you look as 'wrong' as you think you do? I was asked my age today, and the person seemed genuinely surprised when I told them, doing the 'what's your secret?' thing and all that. In a way it's nice, but almost immediately I was turning it into something to beat myself up with. Like, is it bad that I don't look my age? Isn't that just more proof that I don't look the way I should? If I really am the alien/robot/mutant clumsily wearing a human skin that I feel like, I probably wouldn't look my age, would I? It'd be another detail I'd gotten wrong.
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  #259  
Old 4th April 2018, 18:17
kirbycrackle kirbycrackle is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by Merritt
Does anyone else turn compliments about your appearance into something negative, further proof that you look as 'wrong' as you think you do? I was asked my age today, and the person seemed genuinely surprised when I told them, doing the 'what's your secret?' thing and all that. In a way it's nice, but almost immediately I was turning it into something to beat myself up with. Like, is it bad that I don't look my age? Isn't that just more proof that I don't look the way I should? If I really am the alien/robot/mutant clumsily wearing a human skin that I feel like, I probably wouldn't look my age, would I? It'd be another detail I'd gotten wrong.
I get this a Lot too. Like I must look childish or silly for my age. Probably just my brain though
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  #260  
Old 4th April 2018, 18:28
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I can't accept any form of compliment.
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  #261  
Old 18th May 2018, 14:58
limey123 limey123 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

In my case, no. It doesn't change. The way I look remains depressingly the same.
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  #262  
Old 19th May 2018, 20:58
Tom Morello Tom Morello is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I hate it when others take photos of me, it's like my ears and nose become bigger and my squinty left eye becomes even more noticeable. I record myself regularly (I know) to convince myself I look ok and generally it works, but when I see those odd photos it knocks my confidence.
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  #263  
Old 16th June 2018, 19:20
blancmange blancmange is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I made the mistake of watching Ugly Me- My life with body dysmorphia. Wow, It's really triggered me. I could relate so much.
Part of me kept thinking yeah but I'm actually ugly and there's no help for that.
I don't think I'll ever be able to improve the way I see myself.
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  #264  
Old 16th June 2018, 22:52
blancmange blancmange is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Thanks Biscuits, that's really kind of you
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  #265  
Old 19th June 2018, 20:49
blancmange blancmange is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

That view was spoken about on the programme. To recognise you may have BDD is to admit to yourself that you're seeing things/there's something psychological going on.
I always tell myself maybe I'm just ugly and can't deal with that, that people are lying to me etc.

Great post Biscuits.
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  #266  
Old 18th July 2018, 20:41
Appear Appear is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ I don't reckon that comment from the lady in Tesco was about your weight. If you hear a woman can't drink, the first guess is always pregnancy - regardless of one's rotundity.

It's interesting that you think it's become more acceptable to comment on people's weight more generally. I wonder if the NHS's increasing emphasis on weight management as a means to prevent illness and save it money has made weight more of a prominent public concern?

One thing I've always found quite interesting in my extended family is that most of the women readily comment on the weight of men in the family, but will very rarely comment each other's. I'm frequently told I'm 'too' skinny, and my dad's weight (and general appearance) is often playfully mocked. I know it's never meant in a mean way, but I often wonder how they would react if we were to turn the tables. Not favourably, I don't think. (I'm not saying this is a reflection of stuff generally - just how it seems to be in my family.)
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  #267  
Old 19th July 2018, 19:37
choirgirl choirgirl is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I think it's normal to think you look all right on some days and like a troll on others. To other people you probably look the same.
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  #268  
Old 16th August 2018, 22:01
blancmange blancmange is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I***8217;m obsessing over nose jobs.... again. I can spend hours researching surgeries. I***8217;m feeling particularly monstrous today.
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  #269  
Old 23rd August 2018, 21:30
Merritt Merritt is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Does anyone ever feel like they want to make themselves uglier to reinforce their belief that they are ugly? Like how you can exist in a place where you're convinced you're hideous, but other people try to put a positive spin on your appearance, and you almost wish you were ugly in a clearly obvious, objective way so they could really see what you see?
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  #270  
Old 29th August 2018, 21:16
Deadbeatunderadustymoon Deadbeatunderadustymoon is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by Merritt
Does anyone ever feel like they want to make themselves uglier to reinforce their belief that they are ugly? Like how you can exist in a place where you're convinced you're hideous, but other people try to put a positive spin on your appearance, and you almost wish you were ugly in a clearly obvious, objective way so they could really see what you see?
not quite as noone has ever put a positive spin on how i look. I think everyone can see what I see
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