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Old 12th October 2018, 02:53
wildwolf231 wildwolf231 is offline
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 4
Default guilt

hi this probably seems like a really wierd question but its been troubling me a lot for a while. does anyone else have this thing where you feel responsible for things that are out of control, im asking because february of this year i wasnt attending school due to anxiety and depression but anyway i found out that this kid in the year below me (14 or 15 years old) killed himself. i didnt know him but when my mum told me i went to my room and cried so much and i was frantically trying to find him on social media so i could see what he looked like if i recognised him. anyway i couldnt find him but every night for the next like 2 weeks i would cry so much because i felt guilty and i felt like if only i had known this guy i couldve helped him. i ended up finding him on a school photo and i did recognise him from around school but i had never spoken to him and to this day like twice a week i cry for him and feel so horrible for not being able to help him. does anyone else get this, is this normal?
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Old 12th October 2018, 12:08
Aelwyn Aelwyn is offline
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Swindon
Posts: 1,257
Default Re: guilt

I do feel troubled by guilt quite often, in particular at present on account of my elderly mother being in a nursing home. I really wouldn't be able to cope with her at home, but I can't help going over the situation in my head and wondering if I'm being selfish. Any time she seems unhappy or something goes wrong with her, it makes me feel bad.

I do find mindfulness helps, standing back from the feelings and just observing them. Meditating like that for around 20-30 minutes a day does make a difference.

I think when you know the guilt is completely irrational, which you do, then you need to take a step back. It's not good for you to torment yourself like that, you can't take all the troubles of the world on your shoulders.

And if a situation crops up where you really can be helpful to somebody, all this unnecessary guilt is going to make you less fit for that.
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