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  #1  
Old 12th September 2019, 14:56
Mountainstream Mountainstream is offline
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Default Trust issues

I have trust issues and I have no friends. If someone starts getting close I pull away. Can anyone relate?
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  #2  
Old 12th September 2019, 16:43
Lunar Lunar is offline
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Default Re: Trust issues

Yup
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  #3  
Old 12th September 2019, 17:07
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: Trust issues

Yes and No.

Sometimes I think I'm much too trusting then invariably I'm left feeling very disappointed and slightly dejected when the person turns out to be very different to what I had imagined or hoped. Maybe my expectations are a little too high.

People can be incredibly confusing creatures which is why I'm probably happier with animals

I don't know what the answer is to be honest. If you are over cautious and don't let people get too close it can result in no friends and feeling isolated and miserable, but if you are too trusting of people you can be hurt and end up friendless, isolated and miserable! I guess you have to accept that if you want to have one or two potentially good friends in your life you can't avoid suffering disappointment, hurt or rejection in the process.
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  #4  
Old 12th September 2019, 17:20
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: Trust issues

Sometimes...
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  #5  
Old 12th September 2019, 17:42
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: Trust issues

In fact, usually.
Most people disappoint me.
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  #6  
Old 12th September 2019, 17:44
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: Trust issues

^
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  #7  
Old 12th September 2019, 17:59
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: Trust issues

^
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  #8  
Old 12th September 2019, 19:23
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: Trust issues

I just typed out a long post (a new thread) and deleted it before pressing send. I’ll never know who may have related to some of it.
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  #9  
Old 12th September 2019, 22:08
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: Trust issues

^ I'm sure plenty of people would have done Bluebear
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  #10  
Old 12th September 2019, 22:15
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: Trust issues

Thanks Consolida, I started a thread (probably less relatable than the thread I deleted)
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  #11  
Old 13th September 2019, 00:22
Reformation Reformation is offline
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Default Re: Trust issues

Yes I have become very conscious over the last few years of pulling away. Something I wasn't aware of for many years, but I think I've got worst.

When pondering this I came to the conclusion that I don't want to give people the chance to find out they don't like me or for me to disappoint them. So I keep my distance to save both myself and them. Very damaging behaviour but it must stem from low self esteem. I'm also aware of not being my self as my social anxiety often overpowers my personality and I don't want to show that of myself and for people to get the wrong impression of me. Social anxiety is equivalent to being possessed by an evil spirit, it's not me but it does control me.
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  #12  
Old 13th September 2019, 00:37
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: Trust issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by Reformation
Yes I have become very conscious over the last few years of pulling away. Something I wasn't aware of for many years, but I think I've got worst.

When pondering this I came to the conclusion that I don't want to give people the chance to find out they don't like me or for me to disappoint them. So I keep my distance to save both myself and them. Very damaging behaviour but it must stem from low self esteem. I'm also aware of not being my self as my social anxiety often overpowers my personality and I don't want to show that of myself and for people to get the wrong impression of me. Social anxiety is equivalent to being possessed by an evil spirit, it's not me but it does control me.
I think very few people irl know me at all, apart from my husband, although some probably think they do. I avoid people more than I used to as I've been hurt by so many people. They disappointed me and some of them said I disappointed them … I get tired of people getting the wrong impression of me because of my anxiety (or my occasional obvious flight/fight/freeze response which isn't always under my 'control' any more than social anxiety is) Also I do think that if someone lets others walk all over them, then those others will keep doing that....although often walking away is the best response to people who are intentionally mean. not so easy when its family
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  #13  
Old 13th September 2019, 17:16
Stillhere Stillhere is offline
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Default Re: Trust issues

I can trust a little too fast. I don't seem to learn.

I get burnt, then have no trust at all.

I never get it right.
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  #14  
Old 13th September 2019, 20:27
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: Trust issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stillhere
I can trust a little too fast. I don't seem to learn.

I get burnt, then have no trust at all.

I never get it right.
Stillhere
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