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  #24421  
Old 25th September 2019, 16:21
Chess&Junkfood Chess&Junkfood is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

I couldn't agree more with how fantastic Consolida actually is! The forum wouldn't be the same without you!
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  #24422  
Old 25th September 2019, 16:40
Catsmother Catsmother is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

I am thinking of taking a nap.
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  #24423  
Old 25th September 2019, 20:12
Toxic Toxic is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Thinking I probably need to take a sleeping bag into work tomorrow, we had a job that was going to take a good week to complete..due to numerous staff issues and general cock ups.....we have 1 day
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  #24424  
Old 25th September 2019, 21:03
mutedsoul mutedsoul is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

I feel I have rushed music production projects in the past too much, hence I make crap transitions and don't refine parts of the project.
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  #24425  
Old 26th September 2019, 04:02
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

I haven't long woken up and it's started to rain, I got home late and all I keep thinking about if car window is open.
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  #24426  
Old 26th September 2019, 08:52
D1662 D1662 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Social media is toxic
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  #24427  
Old 26th September 2019, 10:11
choirgirl choirgirl is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Consolida, you are a lovely person. And you definitely were missed when you were away from SAUK.
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  #24428  
Old 26th September 2019, 10:11
choirgirl choirgirl is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Thinking I only come here when I feel down, which makes me come across like a right miseryguts.
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  #24429  
Old 26th September 2019, 13:38
Schmosby Schmosby is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Trying to decide if I should skip my exercise today.
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  #24430  
Old 26th September 2019, 15:22
Mo34 Mo34 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Well....just got off the phone to the housing ppl. They left me a voicemail about my application to go on the housing register yesterday so I've been putting off ringing them thinking it would be bad news and that I wouldn't qualify. So she went through a series of questions, confirmed that she had received a letter from my doctor and a letter from MIND. And apparently I'm In Band A which is the top band as needing to move on medical need (anxiety). I'm a bit gobsmacked tbh. It's still a very long list and may take a long time but it's better than being in Band B,C or D.
If I'd known that I would have put myself down much sooner!

Edit: Tho she's just left me a message saying I might have to consider a bedsit as well as flat or house.
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  #24431  
Old 26th September 2019, 15:40
Mo34 Mo34 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Ta.
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  #24432  
Old 26th September 2019, 15:54
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

That's very positive news Mo
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  #24433  
Old 26th September 2019, 15:58
Mo34 Mo34 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ Thanks Dougella . Yeah. Well depending on what they offer, I wouldn't want to end up somewhere with the same problems (anti social behaviour) as I'll still have the anxiety issue. Not sure what I think about a bedsit either.... Tho I guess if it was in a alright location...

* you can tell I've already started to negatively catastrophise this good news!
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  #24434  
Old 26th September 2019, 17:06
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

@ the SAUK folk who said such lovely kind things about me fitting in. I feel embarrassed about talking about not fitting in anywhere on an SA forum because it seems like I'm fishing for compliments which I'm really not, as much as I appreciate the kind words. It's just that I can't shake off the awful deeply ingrained feeling that has plagued me since early childhood that I don't fit in anywhere. Kind words from people that have never met me mean a lot but it's the people who have known me since I was a baby that I want more than anything to like me and to see that I'm not such an awful person. I know I'm so lucky to have a supportive husband and a wonderful son but even their love can't shift my feelings of unworthiness. It's like, when my husband talks to his mother on the phone she always tells him that she loves him before hanging up, and when I talk to my son I say the same thing. But it's never been that way for me and I can't help but think that if I was a nicer person maybe it would have been. Pathetic eh.


@ Choirgirl If you want to moan or vent then this is the perfect place to do it. You don't come across as a misery guts at all. I wear the crown of misery in this place
Your supportive message to me meant a great deal

@ Mo - That sounds like promising news
It would be great if you can move to a nicer place, and a long way away from you anti-social neighbour. Try not to think of all the things that might not be right about a new place until you are actually there!

@ D1662 - Yep tell me about it! Nothing better than going on Facebook when you are feeling lonely and isolated and seeing everyone else seemingly enjoying busy social lives
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  #24435  
Old 26th September 2019, 17:33
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ I wonder, and I may be wrong here but just a thought, if you have taken on the responsibility for something that actually isn't your fault. Maybe you never would have got that kind of affection from your parent no-matter what kind of person you were or weren't and that's because they are for some reason unable to give it to you. I hope that makes some kind of sense. One of the hardest things to deal with self esteem wise is relationships with family, I think
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  #24436  
Old 26th September 2019, 20:41
Mo34 Mo34 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Consolida

@ Mo - That sounds like promising news
It would be great if you can move to a nicer place, and a long way away from you anti-social neighbour. Try not to think of all the things that might not be right about a new place until you are actually there!
Thanks . Well, yeah, hopefully. Yeah, your right. And at the end of the day if they do get round to offering me something and its not suitable I don't have to take it. Fingers crossed it works out.
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  #24437  
Old 26th September 2019, 22:06
mutedsoul mutedsoul is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Making a super simple beat like this. Like the uploader data keeping the best simple helps rappers rap. But then I know people like JDilla do complex chopping in some of their samples.

https://youtu.be/Fky4UXOiDNY
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  #24438  
Old 26th September 2019, 22:22
anewyear anewyear is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ The happy sounding sample he mentions at 1:48 is actually the theme from Psycho..! Compare to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMTrVgpDwPk 29 seconds in
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  #24439  
Old 26th September 2019, 22:40
Alf in Pog Form Alf in Pog Form is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Never really done the 'no rules on drinking at airports' thing, but I'd consider it to pass some time right now.

Only issues are the price of it here, and that in the last couple of years hangovers have been the end of me.
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  #24440  
Old 26th September 2019, 23:22
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

@ Dougella Yes, rationally, I know that what you are saying makes perfect sense but it's that feeling deep down in my core that I'm not good enough that won't go away. I'm a hopeless case for sure

@ Mellangel I'm sure your mum loves you (how could she not!!) but for whatever reason (most probably because of issues in her own childhood) wasn't able to demonstrate the kind of love and affection that you needed - infact all children need. It's sad for both of you I think However, you should feel so proud of yourself for having broken that cycle with your own children. Children can never have too many hugs and 'I love you's' whatever their age, lol!
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  #24441  
Old 27th September 2019, 10:34
Schmosby Schmosby is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

My uncle has only been here 5 minutes and my mum is already being really nasty to him. Imagine getting pleasure from bullying a mentally handicapped person. Filthy scumbag she is.
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  #24442  
Old 27th September 2019, 12:46
Schmosby Schmosby is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

I used to when I was younger, but it just causes endless arguments and she never changes. You would think the fact that her family and children don't like her would be a pretty undeniable indicator that she's got a problem, but she will just make up her own reality where she is a nice person and that it's everyone else with the problem.
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  #24443  
Old 27th September 2019, 16:56
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^^ It can't be easy for you having to live with your mother, Schmosby, and the fact that she treats your uncle the way that she does sounds awful.
Is she suffering with a mental illness? It certainly sounds like she might benefit from some kind of treatment for all of your sakes!
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  #24444  
Old 27th September 2019, 18:08
anewyear anewyear is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Cats.
With hats.
And bells.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_azPrAujmxo

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tXKw_rBhOTs
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  #24445  
Old 27th September 2019, 20:21
Oddity Oddity is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^^
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  #24446  
Old 27th September 2019, 22:22
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Sometimes I struggle with things and I feel like I'm not a good enough daughter, or friend. I can't support others because I struggle to do simple things at times, it's sad really.
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  #24447  
Old 27th September 2019, 23:36
Schmosby Schmosby is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ My friend invited me out somewhere today and I declined as it would involve being trapped on public transport with humans, then trapped in the event with people. I then realised that we will never do anything together as I cant do confined spaces and she can't do open spaces we are opposite broken.

It is sad that our issues get in the way, but that's life.
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  #24448  
Old 28th September 2019, 00:36
Mo34 Mo34 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Wondering if a possible side effect of codeine is depression.
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  #24449  
Old 28th September 2019, 07:37
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^I'm not sure, maybe being in pain all the time and needing to take medication to control may be the reason for depression.
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  #24450  
Old 28th September 2019, 07:44
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^^ Hope you're okay, Mo.

If you feel like it's exacerbating your depression then maybe speak to the doc to see if there is an alternative pain killer
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