#1
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Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
Whenever I get any messages I panic. I read them and then get really anxious and my mind goes blank and I can't think how to reply. So sometimes I just don't and tell the person I forgot when I next see them. I feel so under pressure to say something humorous or chatty and I'm just not like that. For example my sister is so confident and it comes across in her messages, and it's been getting to me a while that I now dont send her any messages anymore and I feel like removing WhatsApp off my phone (my contacts are family members and they will think it's weird if I remove it). I really struggle to find the words even when it's not face to face communication. I sometimes ask my mum what should I say in reply to my own sister. Feel such an idiot!
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#2
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
I guess I'm the opposite, as, actually, I find texting and e-mailing easier than dealing with people in person (though it depends on the situation). I feel I can be really myself when writing.
I think you are probs being too hard on yourself though. I don't think you really need to come across as humorous or too chatty in all of your messages. Not even the wittiest of people can manage this, so why should you/we? I think your family will be just glad to be hearing from you, almost no matter what you say or how you say it. |
#3
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
I find it much easier to use text/email rather than face-to-face but can communicate effectively when required most of the time.
It's awkward with small talk as due to feeling different you really don't believe that you have a lot in common with some people. Although meeting new people person to person from time-to-time I suffer from symptoms like a brain-freeze where it just goes completely blank. I find new situations particularly difficult. I don't like too much change to my routine. |
#4
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
I don't think this is far from the norm for a lot people to be honest Marie8. So you're in good company with that, even people without an SA disorder. I see it in a number of people I know.
I don't suffer the same at all, mostly because I prefer communicating in text and as I do it so often (I prefer emails) I've become "good" at it. Or at least, good at it not being an issue at all or causing me anxiety. It's for others to decide whether I'm good at it, I may be rubbing everyone up the wrong way. The only time I'd be anxious via text is when someone is suggesting meeting or arranging a phone call. I've been on the verge of being surprised when I hear people are anxious about communicating via text but I instantly give myself a talking there. As that's the same as people being surprised at me that face to face communication makes me nauseatingly anxious. And that makes perfect sense to me and it causes me constant anxiety. For me, personal one to one via voice and in person is anxiety inducing. I probably take for granted that via text I'm not the same. But I do understand it, as it's a form of communication so no wonder if can have similar effects. But even people without SA can feel the pressure to come across well, be humorous, etc. So people with SA like us are probably at higher risk of feeling that anxiety towards text communication too. Take the positives though, you have time to response and the recipient can't witness the anxiety. They're benefits compared to face to face :-D |
#5
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
I'm not much of a fan of texting, too much fiddly work for the fingers, i'm straight to the point usually if i do. And the waiting for a reply thing, ugh. If it's beyond a short, basic communication then i phone.
I find email conversations tedious/hard work and much prefer instant messaging, the having to reply to several questions and then remarking on something they've said, etc... my attention for this sort of thing is appalling and i'm constantly having to reread and edit what i've said, looking over to see whether i've covered everything. I've not always been this way, just something that's developed over the years |
#6
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
I kinda prefer it because it gives you plenty of time to think about what you want to say. Whether it's coming up with a joke or being more interesting. In real life I'm boring and unfunny but in text I'm alright.
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#7
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
Quote:
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#8
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
I prefer texting to talking face to face but I still find it so hard because I can't think what to write and could spend about 30 mins just typing a simple text (deleting it, rewording it, changing it etc.) I overthink things too much and then my head starts hurting and I give up. I have a message to reply to now and don't know what to say. I usually ask my mum or my boyfriend what I should say and they tell me so easily. But wish I could do it for myself.
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#9
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
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#10
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
Overthinking is a classic anxiety symptom so it really does make sense that text messaging can be an issue.
I sometimes try this thought experiment and it helps me: You're overthinking and worrying about how you're coming across in text messages. You don't want to sound boring, rude, weird, etc... Ultimately, you don't want people to think bad of you. This can lead to long delays or sometimes ignoring text messages. And then making up excuses if it ever comes up. The only thing that's guaranteed from the above scenario is that people will think bad of you for not replying. Or at least a little irritated. And if it's regular, no one believes the excuses. Everyone would prefer a reply, whether a yes or no, positive or negative, humorous or not. You're guaranteed that not replying is going to put you in a negative light. By replying, you have a chance of being in both a positive light. The odds are, replying is the best chance of your worth fears not coming true. |
#11
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
I hate text messaging and most people who know me are aware of this, so I get very few of them! I am particularly terrified by the picture things (emojis?) which so many people seem to insist on using these days - I don't understand them, so I may misinterpret the tone of an incoming message (tone also being the reason I prefer to communicate in voice, as there is less scope for misinterpretation).
I don't mind someone texting a single message which needs no reply, to confirm an arrangement/advise that they're running late etc. but when it becomes a conversation of exchanged messages, I don't see the point - surely it would be easier to call and have that conversation in less time? I also get irked when a sender expects an immediate response: they don't know what I am doing when they text and I do have a habit of forgetting where I left my 'phone if I'm at home (I prefer to use the landline when I'm there), so if anyone wants an immediate response they should call. I also have a personal issue with WhatsApp, in that some people seem to keep tabs on me by noting when I am online there (to the point where I am hesitant to use it - currently, I have over 50 unread messages from Holiday Pirates alone), especially as it seems to show me online when I'm not (perhaps because I haven't shut it down properly after checking messages). Text messaging was, in my opinion, the worst innovation ever to happen to mobile 'phones; I know my reasons are different to those expressed in the OP, but it is the most anxiety-inducing part of my life, currently. |
#12
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
You can just change your settings so you appear offline on WhatsApp.
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#13
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
When I had a mobile phone I did very little texting . It took me ages to type a sentence. My typing speed on those online tests is 17-20 WPM.
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#14
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
I do sometimes... I definitely find posting on a forum where I don't know many of the people hard.
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#15
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
That's why I block anyone who texts me who I don't want to talk to, problem solved
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#16
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
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hugs to you |
#17
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
PS I feel much happier now I've made a decision...
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#19
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
I don't have trouble thinking of what to say, but if I see my name on like the three most recent threads, I try not to post for a while because I think it'd annoy people to see me all over the place.
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#20
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
^ Gotta be a challenge there Jen.. see if you can get 10 in a line in The Lounge.. Screenshot needed for proof..!!
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#21
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
I'm finding it so hard and have stopped talking to an old friend because of it. I don't get many messages luckily but someone text me on Monday and I've still not replied because I can't think of what to say. I get stressed and a headche and feel crappy. It gets me so frustrated!! I'm even worse in person though. At least with a text they can't see me and I can put it off, but in person I'm stuck and usually make an idiot out of myself.
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#22
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
^ You could just thank them for thinking of you and ask them how they're doing, simple as that
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#23
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
Hi Ethel,
I do that too; so many posts aborted for one reason or another. By the time I have got the post how I like it the thread has moved on and someone has posted a more knowledgeable and eloquent reply which makes me go that I didn't post and I scrub it. Now I have the habit of waiting, and sure enough most times someone writes what I was going to say. |
#24
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
Thanks.. I usually leave it a few days and then reply apologising for the late response. But I think this annoys people, although they don't say it. I'll try a quick reply next time and see how that goes. I do also find it hard when writing emails, making phone calls etc. I usually have to write down what I want to say first if I'm calling a company up or something. I also write and rewrite and the delete posts! And anything I do post has usually taken me an age to finish! This one is a quick one, I don't care I'm just posting it!!
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#25
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Re: Does anyone else find texting/messaging difficult?
I do find writing on here good practice though! I feel like I'm getting a little better at it, so that's a positive
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