An Optimistic Adventure into the Unknown

[thisplanet]

Hi. I haven’t contributed much on these forums, (probably because I find most posts to be a bit too depressing and not very motivational!) but really needed to drop a post to make some kind of public declaration. I’ve heard that making a commitment or goal public makes it much harder to back out of, so I’m here giving it a go!

For some background info: I’m at a stage in my anxiety where I’m fed-up with its all consuming, destructive nature, and therefore I've somehow become driven and determined to rid myself of this affliction; I'm pretty optimistic. CBT has been fine (had a small course a year or so ago), but I’m starting to think the real key to cracking the anxiety obstacle is excessive exposure. I need to get out there. I’m attempting to refine an I-don’t-give-a-f**k attitude (the useful kind, not the, “I don’t care that I’m sat alone in my room friendless” kind of attitude, but the “I’m going to fail big-time at the impending social interactions, but big deal” kind of attitude…). I have even begun to look people in the eye on the streets, without breaking off first, and smile or nod if the eye contact is somewhat protracted. Little steps. (It’s actually kind of amusing, like a game! Most people don’t hold eye contact for very long at all, and I’ve noticed, to my disappointment, that girls barely even look my way at all heh.)

However, the anxiety still rears it’s ugly head, thus I spent the entire day trying to apply for, or at least make some enquiries about, various volunteering roles in the local area. In the end I couldn’t do it. So I’m hoping this public post, this promise, will encourage me in some way.

I need to remember why I’m applying for these ‘jobs’, and make my expectations realistic. I’m not expecting to make lots of friends, become a valued member of a team, or even speak with some semblance of ease to potential co-workers. It’s merely a step out the door, a first step, a step that needs to be made. A tiny step upon a giant road. It’s not going to be perfect, but it absolutely needs to me made, or nothing will change. It’s an adventure, an exploration; I have no idea what will happen, and shouldn’t try to guess. Speak to some people, ask questions, and find out about these volunteering roles like any ordinary person.

Watch this space. This time tomorrow perhaps that step will have been made...

[Aelwyn]

Good luck!

[dipz]

[QUOTE=thisplanet;1685012] I***8217;m starting to think the real key to cracking the anxiety obstacle is excessive exposure.[QUOTE]

I think you hit the nail right on the head, I only recently discovered I have SA, and I too believe the only way to cracking SA is to simply put yourself out there. I think that you can only think about and plan for something to a certain extent before you start becoming obsessive and paranoid.

Im sure many of us have read articles or books on SA and how to overcome it, but the only way some form of change is going to happen is if you get out there and practise, you have to accept that you will mess up many times before you will get it right and you need to learn to shrug it off.

Ofcourse it does depend on how progressive your SA is, your willpower and determination. It involves having an open mind and looking out for possibilities which you might have simply dismissed previously.

Here's an example, where I work, I feel like it helps to split it up into some goals:
- my first goal is to establise contact with other workers and manage a smile.
- secondly, try and say hello/good morning/afternoon and smile.
- thirdly, introduce yourself to them.
etc...

I find it difficult to approach people, so instead I be around places where people frequent, such as the lifts, so instead of remaining silent, I try to establish contact and smile at least.

You have to understand the limits of your SA and be prepared that some days it might not go as well and others you will be flying, accept that it is normal, banish those negative thoughts and embrace it.
Dont worry about your progession over weeks, the fact your are aware of it and are activiely doing something be it something little will build up over time.

Lets get out there and kill our SA!