Post your random crap here (17)

[Kevin Hodge]

An amusing little scene just played out

A girl walked past mucking about with her smartphone while her dogs wandered along behind her

I think there's been some kind of Easter celebration on the beach because the place is littered with broken up painted eggs which the dogs are helping to tidy up

The girl has no idea that her dogs have eaten millions of eggs but she'll probably figure it out later

[Kevin Hodge]

[Kevin Hodge]

omGOD just saw a guy nearly get hit by TWO CARS as he stood in the middle of the road letting his dog take a SHIT

[Kevin Hodge]

Originally Posted by jrrrrtolkein

Boromir stirred, and Frodo looked at him. He was fingering his great horn and frowning.

[Kevin Hodge]

[Kevin Hodge]

[Kevin Hodge]

test: xxx

[genovese]

Ha, yr so on tatooine.

Did you stop by tosche station I hear they do ace deals on power converters. Sunset's overrated, way too touristy these days.

Originally Posted by Kevin Hodge

[Oddity]

[Kevin Hodge]

i was just clearing receipts and all that out of my wallet. i got 50 quid in there cos ive got a 2 hour driving lesson tomorrow. i was just checking i hadnt spent any of the money, and found that the notes were stuck to each other with a weird gunk. none of the receipts or other guff felt damp or anything, it was just slime on the tenners. im pretty sure i got them as cashback at a self scan machine, and im just wondering how the hell they ended up slimy x/


at least the new notes are plasticky so i was able to just wipe them down, theyre drying on some newspaper now. probably just some leftover novichok or something, ill just run my hands under the cold tap, jobs a gooden

[Kevin Hodge]

Originally Posted by Spinal

Yeah novichok agent is ineffective against Scottish people. It's barely more potent than irn bru or Frankie Boyle

i might switch over, irn bru is shite now. theyve reduced the sugar content o_0

[Merritt]

I was just thinking about the girlfriend Mr Bean had in a few episodes. I wonder how that all came about? Did she find him attractive? She must have. But in what way? How did they spend their time together, other than getting into amusing mishaps at the cinema and on Christmas day? Was he good in bed? What was she hoping married life with him would be like? Irma Gobb, her name was, apparently.

[Oddity]

[Kevin Hodge]

Crowd of people getting off the train

Guy with dog on leash is looking at his mobile phone as the dogs eyes dart around

Dog is grey and small, neat like a whippet but not so stringy

Dog veers suddenly to demonstrate undying love and loyalty for man opening up greggs paper bag, right into path of blind man with white stick, while owner is posting prejudiced remarks on a facebook article about immigrants on welfare

Cacophony

Dog owner leaps towards a wall dragging dog with him
Blind guy snaps into what i suppose is a long practised upright and stable posture
Greggs guy holds out a hand to ward off the dog and draws back his pastry, as if performing ancient Steak Bake Defence Kata

Despite the new and sudden movement vectors the dogs eyes dart efficiently from greggsman to blindman to phoneman and back to greggsman when he has it all figured out, with scavenging protocols millions of years old, everyone is upset except the dog

[Kevin Hodge]

Lol thanks it was awesome to watch, it makes me laugh thinking about how dogs fit in with our lives and try to get one over us all the time xD

[Kevin Hodge]

there are products promoting in-shitero mobile phone use now




i want a toilet roll holder with its own salt and pepper set so i can assimilate while i eliminate

[Rocket Spud]

Inflatabull

Just when you thought you'd seen it all..

[Kevin Hodge]

i spend between 30 and 90% of my time looking for my watch


not sure how to get a more accurate estimate on that

[Rocket Spud]

^ Excellent! Poor Janet!

[Vienna]

[Rocket Spud]

^ Reminded me of..

[Kevin Hodge]

^ lol nice


i'm browsing sports clothes. this t shirt is described as "abyss grey"

[Oddity]

I reckon flat earthers just want a free trip into orbit so they can be "proven wrong". It's quite sneaky and takes some commitment, but who are the ones that are getting the free trip to space eventually eh??

[Kevin Hodge]

its a sunshade

[Kevin Hodge]

^ ive seen the northern lights but i was too young to remember now. what useless life forms we are. most of us cant even remember being born, its like, oh, perhaps it would be worth remembering what starting to exist was like? pointless brains we have, hmm (that last bit sounded like yoda in my head, which is kind of pointless too)


ENNNNNNYWAY

[Kevin Hodge]

so i was thinking, some people on here have their faces as avatars. i get a real jarring sense of disconnect from the fact that their skin doesnt slowly get wrinklier, their hair longer, they dont freckle and fade or whatever, like the picture doesnt really represent them at all, its just one moment in time, the same moment you saw yesterday and the day before, and whatever is going on in their life right at this instant, their expression in the picture has nothing to do with it

i wonder if on SAUK3000 in the future, people will have constant live feeds of their face as their avatars? so you can look up their posts on their honeymoon night and see how they are getting on, maybe there are happily munching away at something or perhaps covered in some stuff or whatever. or you could keep an eye on them when they have a tummy bug and see what kind of diarrhoea faces they make.

perhaps you would get really cool stuff going on like "has anyone been watching hodge lately? his face looks very still and blue these days" and someone would reply "he looked very upset about a week ago, i dont know if he suddenly realised the window cleaner saw his lingerie collection lying out on the floor and fainted or if he was being murdered and died" and someone else would say "i actually saw him slipping a life size photograph over his face the other day, with that expression on it, i think he still has the camera on but his face is behind a picture of his face and we cant see what feelings he is really having" and someone else would say "yeah he did that the last time he got botox, i'd bet some money that when his expressions "mysteriously start up again" that thing will have gone missing from his nose"

[hellotiger]

I'm a pigeon. I'm a dirty, mangy pigeon with a gammy leg and sticking out feathers and poop on me from another pigeon. And I'm after your chips. Go on giz a chip peck peck. Cooooo mother ****er cooooo.

[Appear]

I wonder if the NHS know that their calculator might encourage some to eat more unhealthily... I mean, I should be aiming for the middle, right? It's what Aristotle would have done.

[Toxic]

^ It's a bit disheartening being called obese when you only need to lose a couple of stone, I'm hardly a blimp.

I think now I'm only "overweight" yet I'm only aiming to lose another stone, any less and you start seeing my ribs, I look ill!

[Appear]

^ Only if the club does Chinese food and/or is in the vicinity of a kebab house.