How is everyone feeling? (31)

[Silent Treatment]

^
I used to do them but gave them up years ago to do days as I just can't sleep properly during the day...Out of the blue they put me on 3 in a row..been a real struggle..hopefully no more this year...but you never know!

[Deer]

Yeah, it is awful. I remember when I used to do them and I hated driving home after a shift. I would feel really spaced out and tired, and soon as I got home I struggled to wind down.

I guess you'll be having the rest of the week off now though, aye?

[Mo34]

Originally Posted by Deer

Yeah, I can imagine it being quite emotional at first for you.
Will just mentor the one lady at first? And do you feel any different about it after meeting her and reflection on it?

I'm not strangely that emotional about the woman and her situation. It just triggered my own stuff really.
There is also a part deep down in me that gets annoyed that other ppl seem to get a lot of help and yet folk like us (sa) are dismissed. I know i'm being irrational re. this but the feelings are there.

Yeah just one lady. I think my recovery worker is priming me for possible paid work. There isn't to be fair many ppl to be peer mentored at the min.
Umm not sure. I think i'm feeling tired and depressed anyway - nothing to do with the peer mentoring. I suppose I'm worried about having to jolly someone along and be chatty for 2 hours. I also feel down I think as I'd hoped I might be able to move into employment in this direction. But I don't feel great about it. Everyone says try and find something your passionate about and work towards that. I can safely say I'm not particularly passionate about this :/ . I find myself continuously drifting back to animals and the foundation vet nursing degree.

[Deer]

^^ aye, I'm with you on that. I'd love to spend my days just working with cats and dogs

You probably don't have to be as jolly as you might think. I'd get irritated if a mentor was always trying to be jolly with me lol

[Mo34]

Originally Posted by Deer

^^ aye, I'm with you on that. I'd love to spend my days just working with cats and dogs

You probably don't have to be as jolly as you might think. I'd get irritated if a mentor was always trying to be jolly with me lol

Yeah Horses as well for me. I love the science side of it too.

No I suppose not, but I can't just be silent either. I kind of need to be the pro active one. The lady seems very chatty and jolly and I think for her the boundaries I'm expected to keep in the role might be difficult. She was already like - oh we could maybe sit and have some lunch, sandwichs etc.. My recovery worker was like - that's fine but Mo will have to bring her own sandwiches.

I think it may prove to be a mentally tiring experience....

I do feel better today though. Been to horse sanctuary, shovelled a million poos had my mandatory donkey hug and all feels well with the world again

[Mo34]

Originally Posted by Melangell

Follow your heart

[Laracroft2]

HIEF??

Rubbish! My anxiety is bad right now. Feel like I have a permanent fist in my solar plexus and paranoid. I have even contacted Steps to Well being for help. Havent been like this for a while, forgotten how awful it is. I feel like im in another dimension and noone can reach me, or i them. No one understands this except you guys. Thank god for SAUK.

[Deer]

Originally Posted by Mo34

Yeah Horses as well for me. I love the science side of it too.

No I suppose not, but I can't just be silent either. I kind of need to be the pro active one. The lady seems very chatty and jolly and I think for her the boundaries I'm expected to keep in the role might be difficult. She was already like - oh we could maybe sit and have some lunch, sandwichs etc.. My recovery worker was like - that's fine but Mo will have to bring her own sandwiches.

I think it may prove to be a mentally tiring experience....

I do feel better today though. Been to horse sanctuary, shovelled a million poos had my mandatory donkey hug and all feels well with the world again

I'd be terrible at the boundaries. I'd probably end up with my feet up on the couch asking her to see what else was on TV as she passes me a sandwich ha!

I do like horses, I just always think they don't like me! They have an unsettling pokerface. I always feel like they are a thought away from putting the nut on me lol

No jobs going at the sanctuary like or just volunteering?

[Mo34]

Yeah I have to say i'm going to have to be very aware! . I think it might be too easy to accidentally fall into 'friend' mode because the situation is so casual.

some might be! to be honest. Horses are fine, mostly there just curious or looking for food or view you as a nice rubbing post. There great once you get to know them though, you can build amazing relationships with horses. You just need a healthy respect for them.

Nah. There's no paid staff at either sanctuary, currently. :/

[Deer]

^ yes, I probably need to read up on them so I can get an understanding of them. They are supposed to be really sensitive to a person's emotions aren't they? Not sure how true that is.

[Deer]

Yay! Won a £100 on the lottery.

[limey123]

Good. Been down the pub

[Deer]

^ Aye. There was bank holiday special on. So only needed 3 numbers to win a hundred

[newbs16]

You have really come along way with your sa, you went to the introduction and along to strangers house to try and support her that must've been very hard, well done Mo.

[Tembo]

Really wish I could experience happiness. I wish I could have just feel a moment where I am not feeling lonely. I don't know why it just won't happen.

I spend most my time pretending to be happy, which is what a lot of idiots say is a positive thing to do. Some people have said what a happy cheerful person I am. Haha. No, it's just repression.

[Mo34]

^ Yeah I know what you mean.

Originally Posted by newbs16

You have really come along way with your sa, you went to the introduction and along to strangers house to try and support her that must've been very hard, well done Mo.

Thanks newbs Yeah I guess. I think this Wednesday will be harder tho on my own with the person. Fingers crossed i't'll be ok.

[genovese]

Originally Posted by Mo34

had my mandatory donkey hug

A picture of the donkey would be lovely mo
Close to the ears....donkeys have some of the best ears in the entire animal kingdom!

Have to change the channel when those donkey charity adverts come on tv, way way distressing

[Percy]

I second the call for donkey pics.

[Consolida]

So very tired of life.

[Merritt]

I feel like a vampire. Whenever it's daytime I feel crushed and exhausted and just want to sleep to make everything go away. Then when it's night, I feel sad and alone, but it's like I'm existing in the inbetween bits between days, when there's nothing to be done and nothing really matters. Feel like I can only bare existing in the gaps and the cracks like that.

[Consolida]

^ Couldn't have put it better

[Percy]

Originally Posted by Consolida

So very tired of life.

Yes, I can certainly relate to that.

[Mo34]

Originally Posted by Deer

^ yes, I probably need to read up on them so I can get an understanding of them. They are supposed to be really sensitive to a person's emotions aren't they? Not sure how true that is.

Readings good, but being around them is better esp with knowledgeable ppl. Yeah they are, equine therapy seems to becoming more and more common for all sorts of things, autism, adhd, addiction, troubled teens etc etc... A lot of it is about forming and building a relationship with a horse.

Originally Posted by genovese

A picture of the donkey would be lovely mo
Close to the ears....donkeys have some of the best ears in the entire animal kingdom!

Have to change the channel when those donkey charity adverts come on tv, way way distressing

Originally Posted by Percy

I second the call for donkey pics.

I shall dig some out off my phone and post in the horse photo thread

*they do indeed have the best ears!

[Tom Morello]

Tired of battling my own thoughts, I just want some ****ing peace. Seems like every day I'm just waiting for a suitable time when I can sleep and get away from this shit for 8 hours or so.

[Silent Treatment]

aching all over..had a great weekend mountain scrambling in north wales..need a long hot soak tonight!!

[Mo34]

I swear to God someone has been slipping me 'taking leave of your senses' pills lately.

A long time a go (18 months?) I signed up or this pet/house sitting site. It was suggested by someone at the Richmond Fellowship, the worker there was using it for holidays around the UK and then she went to the Pyrenees I think. I signed up but didn't have the bottle to contact anyone. Anyway I checked into the site last week for the first time in months and I had a few messages that I hadn't received notifications for . I was quite shocked as I haven't added a reference or the like. Sent them all a message back apologising for not getting back to them etc.. Anyways one of them who lives in my village messaged me back saying they had been let down by a couple who had cancelled and would I be available from the 8th to the 29th? My initial reactions was like ahhhhh! and I was going to reply no. However after some musing decided to reply that I was interested.

So i went to meet them this afternoon. I sat outside thinking why am I doing this, anxiety sky high. Anyway went and spent two hours, we took the dog for the walk and they showed me round the woods etc.. and sat and had tea and a chat. I was more ok than I thought I would be. Anyway the upshot is there off to Madeira and I'm looking after there dog and house. It's a national trust cottage and although neighbours are all around you wouldn't think it. The road isn't tarmacked and is single track which was an interesting drive meeting oncoming traffic! The dog is springer spaniel and is lovely.

So yeah. Bit shell shocked I've gone through with such a thing. I'm hoping it might give me the confidence to try another one further a field. I had hoped it would allow me to have a holiday in Scotland or go down to Cornwall or the like. The biggest barrier for me is the cost of accommodation so this basically sorts that out. And I have no issue with looking after animals in return for having somewhere to stay.

[Dougella]

^^ That sounds really good Mo, well done

[Mo34]

Originally Posted by Kooky Monster

^ That's really great, Mo. Well done

Thanks Kooky

Originally Posted by Melangell

Sounds wonderful, Mo
Well done for going, keep us posted about how the stay goes, it’s lovely to hear about all the things you get up to

I used to be a groom and did a few animal nanny type jobs, I loved it...all animals, no people

Thanks

"all animals and no people" - ideal isn't it!

Originally Posted by Dougella

^^ That sounds really good Mo, well done

Thanks Dougella

[Mo34]

^ Thanks biscuits, it is isn't it.

[choirgirl]

That sounds perfect!