Being open

Bluebear · #1 8th September 2019, 13:14

..

Mountainstream · #2 8th September 2019, 15:27

Stillhere · #3 8th September 2019, 19:58

Being open is true.

I have found it can be used against me.

Bluebear · #4 8th September 2019, 20:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountainstream

thank you

Jen. · #5 8th September 2019, 20:03

This thread is so confusing.

Bluebear · #6 8th September 2019, 20:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stillhere

Being open is true.

I have found it can be used against me.

I agree, being open is true.

And I too have found it can be used against me

Bluebear · #7 8th September 2019, 20:06

Being used and abused is confusing and hurtful.

Stillhere · #8 8th September 2019, 20:44

Professionals have used the truth against me...

Why?

Bluebear · #9 8th September 2019, 20:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stillhere

Professionals have used the truth against me...

Why?

I don't understand it.

Consolida · #10 9th September 2019, 16:46

I'm way too open and I would say that it has often gone against me in the past but I think if you are that kind of personality it's difficult to be any different.

I would say that I naturally warm to people who are open and honest about themselves and feel somewhat uneasy with folk who keep their cards very close to their chest. Sometimes being vulnerable to people who take advantage is the risk you take if you also want to come across as approachable

Bluebear · #11 9th September 2019, 17:19

Bear (my husband) has often told me I tell people too much personal info. That is, if I'm not so anxious that I clam up completely..

(or delete my posts. I cant see anything confusing about a deleted post with some

but I guess I'm weird....)

Jen. · #12 9th September 2019, 17:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bluebear

I cant see anything confusing about a deleted post

I'm not sure what the opening post originally said since I didn't see what it was before you deleted it, but what meaning do you think someone can get from a thread with a vague two word title and an opening post that is just a few emoticons? I don't understand how you can't think it's confusing.

Bluebear · #13 9th September 2019, 17:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stillhere

Professionals have used the truth against me...

Why?

I will leave my opinion of a few of those unsaid...

I have nothing but respect and admiration for respectful and compassionate professionals.

Bluebear · #14 9th September 2019, 17:50

being open has been used against me irl.

which makes me feel

Bluebear · #15 9th September 2019, 19:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by jen.m.

I'm not sure what the opening post originally said since I didn't see what it was before you deleted it, but what meaning do you think someone can get from a thread with a vague two word title and an opening post that is just a few emoticons? I don't understand how you can't think it's confusing.

thank you for the 'support'

fwiw someone here might be suicidal so it might be worth thinking your replies through a bit more before hitting submit.

Bluebear · #16 9th September 2019, 19:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stillhere

Being open is true.

I have found it can be used against me.

Thank you for taking a bit of time to understand,
frankly I wonder why I even bother to share anything. which is why I deleted my ****ing post,
so many 'understanding' people on this ****ing planet. if they don't like my post why bother replying.

respect to you

Jen. · #17 9th September 2019, 19:42

I will reply since you seem to have been extremely unfair there. I said this thread was confusing (since I didn't know you'd changed the opening post for whatever reason), then you responded to me saying you can't see anything confusing about it (you must have been replying to me since I was the one who said it was confusing). I was simply saying I don't understand how you can't see anything confusing about it. Perhaps take your own advice and don't respond in a nasty way to someone who was only clarifying something in reponse to a comment that was aimed at them. There's really no need for it. Thank you.

endo_endo · #18 9th September 2019, 19:56

I don't understand this either. Seems I'm late to the party and posts have been deleted making this somewhat confusing to anyone coming here late.

Being open is hard it means making yourself vulnerable. It is something I struggle with.

Bluebear · #19 9th September 2019, 20:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by endo_endo

I don't understand this either. Seems I'm late to the party and posts have been deleted making this somewhat confusing to anyone coming here late.

Being open is hard it means making yourself vulnerable. It is something I struggle with.

deleted posts can be confusing..

I haven't ever replied to someone telling them that though. Especially with no other constructive feedback..

thanks for responding

Consolida · #20 9th September 2019, 22:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by jen.m.

I'm not sure what the opening post originally said since I didn't see what it was before you deleted it, but what meaning do you think someone can get from a thread with a vague two word title and an opening post that is just a few emoticons? I don't understand how you can't think it's confusing.

To be fair to Bluebear, I don't think the thread is confusing.
I can't speak for Bluebear obviously, but I assume she sometimes feels anxious about being open (perhaps due to past experiences) and deleting posts can be an indication of someone wanting to open up but then feeling embarrassed or paranoid about what they've posted. I've often deleted posts on the forum myself when I've had a bit of a vent and felt that I have perhaps said more than I should have.

It's a mental health forum - it happens.

Jen. · #21 9th September 2019, 22:30

If someone didn't see a post before it was "deleted" by being changed to something else, how it is possible for them to know that it was changed?

Stillhere · #22 9th September 2019, 22:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bluebear

Thank you for taking a bit of time to understand,
frankly I wonder why I even bother to share anything. which is why I deleted my ****ing post,
so many 'understanding' people on this ****ing planet. if they don't like my post why bother replying.

respect to you

We all need support from time to time. I am sending you hugs bluebear.

I am sending you peace and understanding.

Bluebear · #23 10th September 2019, 15:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by Consolida

To be fair to Bluebear, I don't think the thread is confusing.
I can't speak for Bluebear obviously, but I assume she sometimes feels anxious about being open (perhaps due to past experiences) and deleting posts can be an indication of someone wanting to open up but then feeling embarrassed or paranoid about what they've posted. I've often deleted posts on the forum myself when I've had a bit of a vent and felt that I have perhaps said more than I should have.

It's a mental health forum - it happens.

Thanks Consolida.

Bluebear · #24 10th September 2019, 15:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stillhere

We all need support from time to time. I am sending you hugs bluebear.

I am sending you peace and understanding.

Thanks Stillhere

Bluebear · #25 10th September 2019, 15:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melangell

I agree

If I found something confusing or difficult to understand, then I would just move on. No one should feel like they have to explain themselves to anyone here, it's a support site, not twitter

People often delete posts because they feel more anxious than when they originally posted them. But interestingly in this case it kind of illustrates the point really well, because being open when you struggle with life is really hard. being open but then feeling vulnerable (because you might have mental health problems) is difficult and can feel uncomfortable, but then being a completely closed book, because you don't trust people makes it hard for people to get to know you and makes you isolated. I'm in the second camp

I am not open at all, my whole personality is a house of cards of lies, waiting to collapse at the slightest poke

I agree.. I'm not open usually either. exactly, this is a support site, not twitter.
Thanks Melangell

Bluebear · #26 10th September 2019, 15:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ethel

Try to open up slowly and only allow very personal details to people you've gauged you can trust over time. If you reveal too much it can leave you overexposed and vulnerable. I think its a case of having boundaries with yourself, though I've probably gone to the extreme of this.

Thanks Ethel

Bluebear · #27 10th September 2019, 21:51

Today I was treated worse than a turd on someone's shoe for being open. No wonder I don't speak. WTF.

Utopia · #28 10th September 2019, 22:10

^ Yeah, this is why I struggle to be open generally, it does lead to rejection from a lot of people, but quite often people just find it too awkward, so they might just make fun of it to deal with the awkwardness.

Bluebear · #29 10th September 2019, 22:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by Utopia

^ Yeah, this is why I struggle to be open generally, it does lead to rejection from a lot of people, but quite often people just find it too awkward, so they might just make fun of it to deal with the awkwardness.

I agree, it does lead to rejection from a lot of people. I've been made fun of on forums too for being open. I guess some people are just jerks and bullies. In real life I agree, often people find it awkward and make fun of it. I find fake positivity boring but bullies are...

Stillhere · #30 10th September 2019, 22:52

Unfortunately so many IRL abuse anyone who tries to open up.

Rejection and feeling powerless is a big trigger for many. It takes a lot for us to speak. I feel most reject and abuse anyone who speaks with emotion.

I personally cannot turn off my emotional state. Maybe this means I have no right to speak.

My thoughts are with all those who struggle to be heard