A few issues I have with facebook

[hollowone]

There are a number of reasons I feel reluctant to log in;

• Adverts of shops and products based on searches and sites you visited that appear at the side, are they visible to friends? If so, that's a bit invasive.
• Lack of a private message feature; there's loads of people I've met on my trips abroad who I would love to keep in more regular contact, but am put-off because I find IM-ing too on-the-spot, more so than real life. Unless I go on at anti-social times and then have to worry about what people would think if they saw a message at some ridiculous time. I would prefer a private message email-like feature. This is making me depressed because I fear losing contact. I'm not the only one to find the chat box thing scary
• Having details of my life out there in public to people I don't consider close friends or feel comfortable with (OK, I've set mine to private, friends only can see); this is a major deterrent to using both networking sites and online dating sites.

Anyone else feel uncomfortable about these things? Can anyone give solutions to these problems? It's making me depressed because there are some wonderful people I've met on my trips abroad who I would love to contact more regularly. I don't because of this almighty fear barrier.

This might sound ridiculous coming from somebody who can go into pubs and to to other countries on their own. It's a major psychological obstacle.

[Charlotte05]

I have a Facebook account and it also makes me somewhat uncomfortable although my main reason for that is different from yours. I don't like putting statuses for other people to 'like'. Where I'm cut off from people I get hardly any all of the time so that makes me feel pretty bad. Plus I feel like anybody that I used to know must wonder why I have so little to put on there.

As for your reasons:

• I think the adverts are probably individual for everyone. So you'll see things based on your searches and they'll see ones based on theirs although I'm not 100% sure.

• There is an option to turn the chat box off. I'm not sure if that turns it off entirely or if it would then just work through the old message feature or not though. Could you send people emails off an email account instead if not?

• I don't like that much either tbh so I don't know what advice to offer other than post only what you're comfortable with other people seeing.

Sorry that I'm not more help. I'd suggest an alternative website if I knew any that would be better but I don't really use social networking websites all that much.

[Hayman]

Hello!

I don't think the adverts you're discussing are visible to those viewing your profile – although I'm willing to stand corrected on that if someone knows differently. If they are, then I think that would be a serious invasion of privacy to anyone out there…

When it comes to details of your life, you've done the right thing by only allowing friends to see it. No 'outsider' would be able to see what you put on there. I think the only things visible to non-friends is your profile picture, your 'intro' and your friends. If you look deep enough into the settings, I'm sure you can also hide these away and go even further so you don't show up at all on their search engine.

I don't even share some things with the few friends I have on Facebook. Most of the things I put up on Facebook often exclude particular people who I find less trustworthy than others. For instance, the last three updates I've put on there have excluded one particular person who I see face-to-face most days.

[incommunicado]

http://www.fbpurity.com/

[Eralc]

Hi,

That chat box is very off-putting. Especially when you don't know how to use it. Even worse when you are using a mobile phone. Plus the friend suggestions they pump out - why can't they just leave you alone?

I deleted my account on Facebook years ago because I was fed up of the happy smiley photos people post of their holidays. I recently rejoined and only added family. Now I am regretting that as I can't post anything negative as my mum would get upset.

I think Facebook is a load of rubbish to be honest yet most people are on it. I only like playing on the games and now and again looking at my family members' photos. Yet there really isn't anything else out there. Twitter is too in-yer-face, Instagram is for poseurs and dating websites are just plain scary!

[AnnieLu]

I have no issues at all with Facebook -- I'd have no friends and no contact with anyone without it!

Adverts are based on your own search history and are customised to you alone. Nobody else can see them as they're seeing their own individualised ads.

What's the problem with the chat box? Is it because the other person can see that you've read a message? I don't let that bother me, it's the same on WhatsApp. People each have their own reasons for replying whenever they reply... Some reply instantly, others in a few hours, others take days!

There's no personal information on my account that I wouldn't feel considerable sharing with friends... I don't add strangers.

I guess I just don't understand??