Are You Uncomfortable Being Watched?

jenny4 · #1 18th April 2011, 22:09

I used to feel very anxious just walking down the street for fear of other people judging me, particularly in the way I walked. I felt my lack of self-confidence was plain to see in my walk, and in my body-language. I'd stare at the ground and try not to make eye-contact with anyone because I was afraid of a negative response. My confidence has grown since then, and I've learned to look up and smile at people as I pass them, but I still find it hard to perform a task when people are watching me. It's much easier with people I know well, but very difficult with strangers. I just wondered if anyone relates to this?

blubs · #2 18th April 2011, 22:17

Totally.
I find it much easier to be busy & do things if others are busy. Being watched is dreadful. 2 I hate are packing shopping & paying, while the assistant watches me, & passing people when I'm walking my dog. I look up, then down, then up, then down, limp a bit, talk to my dog, look away, look at the other person, say hi, look down, limp away. I don't have a real limp, it just happens! Dreadful.

jenny4 · #3 18th April 2011, 22:40

Quote:

Totally.
I find it much easier to be busy & do things if others are busy. Being watched is dreadful. 2 I hate are packing shopping & paying, while the assistant watches me, & passing people when I'm walking my dog. I look up, then down, then up, then down, limp a bit, talk to my dog, look away, look at the other person, say hi, look down, limp away. I don't have a real limp, it just happens! Dreadful.

I don't like the whole packing shopping thing either! We have the weekly shopping delivered (not my choice!) which I find even worse... I struggle with the whole thing, especially the small-talk! I find it difficult signing for things, (I think because of being watched). My signature changes every time and sometimes ends up a complete scrawl! I've got better at meeting fellow dog walkers, but still usually find it hard to say more than, "what breed is your dog?" "What's his/her name?". And that's only if their dog and mine are playing, and it would appear rude if I didn't say anything at all!

dannygirl · #4 18th April 2011, 22:58

Yes, and I hate packing shopping too! People in the queue always stare at you. Then I can never get the flipping bags open.
I was ok on my driving test though. I suppose it depends on what i'm doing. But mostly i hate being watched.
If someone watches me walk my legs feel all wierd and I always think I'm gonna fall over or trip.

Sadpup · #5 18th April 2011, 23:33

Omg yes!!

When I'm walkin in a wide arse area.. My legs.. start to freak out lol

But then I walk slower and calm my legs down, kinda works, but then my arms.. lol I just hold on to a back pack even when its empty..

But I guess its good to loosen up before we go out, like do jumping, skipping etc
like a warm up.

jenny4 · #6 18th April 2011, 23:33

Quote:

Yes, and I hate packing shopping too! People in the queue always stare at you. Then I can never get the flipping bags open.
I was ok on my driving test though. I suppose it depends on what i'm doing. But mostly i hate being watched.
If someone watches me walk my legs feel all wierd and I always think I'm gonna fall over or trip.

Oh the bags! I know that one. When I'm paying for something I feel I have to be really quick so as not to hold up the queue, so I always pay with a note (when I've got one!) so I invariably end up with a purse full of change! I can also understand where you're coming from with how you feel when watched walking. It's like a sudden pressure to walk in a desired way. I'm less conscious these days, but it's still there.

Sadpup · #7 18th April 2011, 23:35

I actually feel ok when I'm with a someone, but when I'm alone... I'm like.. someone.. shoot me lol

ar90 · #8 19th April 2011, 00:37

Yeah i hate being watched while im walking, it makes me walk funny because im thinking about it and then i KNOW i look like a tit lol.

I hate people watching me write too, it makes me write like a 4 year old.

jenny4 · #9 19th April 2011, 00:41

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I actually feel ok when I'm with a someone, but when I'm alone... I'm like.. someone.. shoot me lol

Yeah, it does seem easier when you're with someone else. I guess it takes some of the emphasis off you.

jenny4 · #10 19th April 2011, 00:42

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I hate people watching me write too, it makes me write like a 4 year old.

Me too. NOT FUN!

GentleGuy · #11 19th April 2011, 00:45

oh god yeah... i hate being watched...

what i used to hate (in the days when i had a job) was walking back in the room and to my desk (aaaaaahhhh)... people wondering if i'm going to say something, and even if i'm not, watching me...and then sometimes if i was giving off paranoid vibes, asking if i'm okay while i'm sitting down aaaah.

also i hate doing physical tasks while someone is watching.. something as simple as making sandwiches... i feel like i'm being assessed

Blue Haze 2 · #12 19th April 2011, 00:50

I hate people watching me eat. I'm like out and quite hungry so I buy a Mcdonalds or KFC and sit down and try to eat. When I look around everyone is like watching me. WTF?

I haven't done it in a while because I have no appetite, but back when I was healthy.

jenny4 · #13 19th April 2011, 01:29

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In general I don't like being watched, there's one little corner in my garden where I'm not overlooked (apart from the occasional nosy pigeon) and that's the only place in my garden where I can just chill-out, apart from when the kids next door climb up and poke their heads over the fence, aarrgghhh!

Sometimes it seems, there is no peace! From nosey children or pigeons! We only have a yard where I live now, and it's quite a busy street with people walking past all the time, so there is no privacy - but especially from the pigeons! (greedy buggers aswell, with all the bird food they gobble down!).

emsey · #14 19th April 2011, 11:05

Me too! I definitely get the strange freaky leg thing, hate eating in front of people (except people I'm close to), hate being at the front of a queue I feel like people are watching me all the time. I got really freaked out the other day in Tesco I swear everyone behind me in the queue was staring at me

The other half said I was imaging it but I swear every time i turned round they were staring!!

Rubik · #15 19th April 2011, 12:36

Had a packet of crips on a packed, but totally silent train last week. Paranoia crept in of being watched, so I tried to eat as quietly as possible, I can only guess what I looked like lol.

haze-elle · #16 19th April 2011, 13:36

Thanks jenny4 for starting this thread. Had no idea other people struggle to walk when being watched, too. I thought I was a freak for feeling this way. It's so weird - one glance from a stranger and i forget how to walk. Suddenly i'm tripping over my own feet and staggering about.

I totally empathise with you, blubs, having to walk past a stranger is so awkward. I never know where to look - do i look them in the eye and say hello, or do i keep my head down and not bother them? Always end up taking a sudden interest in my fingernails or a nearby shrub, and so end up looking weird anyway. Don't know why i do that, guess it's just panic.

Does anyone else worry about being watched by people outside when you're indoors, or vice versa? I get especially paranoid when it's really dark outside and i'm in a well-lit room with no curtains. The window becomes like a police mirror - everyone out there can see me, but i can't see them (in my paranoid and ego-centric imagination, there are dozens of people stood in the street, all watching me and laughing).

sparky10 · #17 19th April 2011, 14:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by GentleGuy

oh god yeah... i hate being watched...

what i used to hate (in the days when i had a job) was walking back in the room and to my desk (aaaaaahhhh)... people wondering if i'm going to say something, and even if i'm not, watching me...and then sometimes if i was giving off paranoid vibes, asking if i'm okay while i'm sitting down aaaah.

also i hate doing physical tasks while someone is watching.. something as simple as making sandwiches... i feel like i'm being assessed

yeah the walking back into the office i can relate to its like coming out of the capsule. yeah wondering what people are thinking and if you look paranoid anxious - horrible. and heaven forbid if anyone asks if you are alright

I get the walking thing it feels like your legs are not your own, strange feeling

I hate people watching me if im feeling anxious as it makes me self concious and tense. The queing i can relate to , it makes me so fustrated when you see people not caring how long they take and sometimes idiots coming across better than you just because of the bloody anxiety

TrueLoner · #18 19th April 2011, 14:44

Quote:

also i hate doing physical tasks while someone is watching.. something as simple as making sandwiches... i feel like i'm being assessed

Yeah me too..I work in a kitchen, most of the time alone, but when people do come and watch me things I would do without thinking about and come naturally I will start doing wrong. Then I worry they think I`m a t*at, then It gets worse and I`m reduced to a nervous wreck!
I have a feeling they Know me now cause they hardly ever come in. Which in one way is OK.

wd40mk17.4 · #19 19th April 2011, 17:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by haze-elle

Thanks jenny4 for starting this thread. Had no idea other people struggle to walk when being watched, too. I thought I was a freak for feeling this way. It's so weird - one glance from a stranger and i forget how to walk. Suddenly i'm tripping over my own feet and staggering about.

I totally empathise with you, blubs, having to walk past a stranger is so awkward. I never know where to look - do i look them in the eye and say hello, or do i keep my head down and not bother them? Always end up taking a sudden interest in my fingernails or a nearby shrub, and so end up looking weird anyway. Don't know why i do that, guess it's just panic.

Does anyone else worry about being watched by people outside when you're indoors, or vice versa? I get especially paranoid when it's really dark outside and i'm in a well-lit room with no curtains. The window becomes like a police mirror - everyone out there can see me, but i can't see them (in my paranoid and ego-centric imagination, there are dozens of people stood in the street, all watching me and laughing).

This is me exactly.

My legs go all wobbly, yet stiff at the same time as I walk past people, I don't know where to look, or what to do, I'm glad it's summer now, so I can wear my sunglasses, and so I now peer a bit at people as I walk past them to see if they are staring at me, ( like I worried they were - and now they can't see my eyes )

and something strange happened - none of them were looking at me, they just didn't care, they maybe glanced at me, or looked down, or looked about...

But when I was too scared to look at people I never noticed this, I just ASSUMED they were always staring at me and judging me as I walked past.

It was a bit of a revelation and I hope I can put this knowledge to good use to help me overcome this.

jenny4 · #20 19th April 2011, 20:08

Quote:

what i used to hate (in the days when i had a job) was walking back in the room and to my desk (aaaaaahhhh)... people wondering if i'm going to say something, and even if i'm not, watching me...and then sometimes if i was giving off paranoid vibes, asking if i'm okay while i'm sitting down aaaah.

I find walking into any room with someone in difficult. I think it's because I know as soon as I walk in, the focus will be on me. It sounds like your work situation was similar? I also find it difficult leaving a room where I've been socialising and then returning; partly for the same reason, but partly because the conversation will have moved on and I feel I won't be able to catch up with it.

jenny4 · #21 19th April 2011, 20:12

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Had a packet of crips on a packed, but totally silent train last week. Paranoia crept in of being watched, so I tried to eat as quietly as possible, I can only guess what I looked like lol.

I really don't like eating in publics places on my own or with people I don't know very well. I'd have to be starving to eat alone on a busy train!

jenny4 · #22 19th April 2011, 20:22

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Thanks jenny4 for starting this thread. Had no idea other people struggle to walk when being watched, too. I thought I was a freak for feeling this way. It's so weird - one glance from a stranger and i forget how to walk. Suddenly i'm tripping over my own feet and staggering about.

You're welcome, I'm glad it's helped you not feel so alone. It's definitely helping me to talk openly in a safe environment, about things I've previously hidden. It seems many of us share the same difficulties.

Quote:

Does anyone else worry about being watched by people outside when you're indoors, or vice versa? I get especially paranoid when it's really dark outside and i'm in a well-lit room with no curtains. The window becomes like a police mirror - everyone out there can see me, but i can't see them (in my paranoid and ego-centric imagination, there are dozens of people stood in the street, all watching me and laughing).

As soon as the lights go on, the curtains get drawn. I could never sit with the lights on and curtains undrawn. People do look into people's houses when they walk past, I do it myself if I catch someone's eye looking out the window!

Stig of the dump · #23 19th April 2011, 20:29

I have big problem buying things from checkout or bar or just standing in a que I don't know where too look and often just get very tense my muscles tighten I go slack jawed and my mind goes blank and I feel my mind slowing and I veg out and stare, hard to break eye contact.

The staring thing has led to problems at work, I also find if I'm in a team meeting and someone makes eye contact for too long I I them then the tension in my body builds up until my body spasms, that has led to a lot of stress and teasing by team mates. Cool to know i'm not alone in this problem though

Nadia A · #24 19th April 2011, 20:37

I can relate to all of this! I cant stand being watched doing anything!I get round my problems at the supermarket by only using the self serve checkouts! best invention ever! I hate being watched, I shake, go very hot and my legs go numb. I hate walking into a room with people in it too and leaving when Im in there already cos any move I make is going to be watched. Good thread jenny!

no0ne · #25 19th April 2011, 20:39

last bloke who stood and watched me on site i told him i'd wrap a bit of 4 by 2 round his head if he didn't **** off

guess that means i don't like being watched

AxelFendersson · #26 21st April 2011, 18:25

It really depends what I'm doing. If I'm doing something interesting and it's something I'm reasonably confident doing (e.g. singing, playing music, dancing or whatever) then I like it when people watch. It does make me slightly less relaxed, but the ego-boost easily outweighs any extra tension or pressure.

If I'm doing something that I'm not confident doing, then it's very off-putting to have people watching. And if I'm not doing anything interesting, then it can be a bit unsettling to have people watch for any length of time.

I don't worry about people watching me unless I have actually noticed them doing so, though. My instinctive assumption is that nobody is even slightly interested in me; why would they want to watch me when they could watch paint dry instead?

UkG · #27 21st April 2011, 18:46

Yes I hate when people look at me.

Often I try and look at them in the hope they look away, but some still keep looking and it makes me feel like crap and I have to look away.

Sounds odd but I also hate being stuck in traffic, as I feel everyones looking at me, and as most of the time my roof is down I feel really "open"

I personally never try and stare at anyone. And if I was looking at someone if they made eye contact I'd move away.

I also hate being on the train as I never know where to look

Defiance · #28 21st April 2011, 18:52

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Originally Posted by UkG

I also hate being on the train as I never know where to look

yeah, i hate the way the chairs have you facing people..

Wheelie Bin Bird · #29 21st April 2011, 19:07

OMG! I hate being seen. Always wanna shrink into the background. It's the main reason I don't wear make-up. I don't like eating in public or anything like that. Freaks me out...

Pink*Lady · #30 22nd April 2011, 14:13

Quote:

Does anyone else worry about being watched by people outside when you're indoors, or vice versa? I get especially paranoid when it's really dark outside and i'm in a well-lit room with no curtains. The window becomes like a police mirror - everyone out there can see me, but i can't see them (in my paranoid and ego-centric imagination, there are dozens of people stood in the street, all watching me and laughing).

Yeah I have this as well...