#2
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
Yes. ' don't look so worried' or ' are you alright' ( X 100 usually if I'm in quiet mode ) are the more frequent ones.
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#3
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
Yes. And doesn't it make you feel a thousand times worse. 'Don't look so worried' is one that really grates with me. I wasn't looking worried, I didn't think, but I certainly will be now that you have highlighted the issue!!!
Actually, I get told I look 'stuck up' and aloof a lot of the time. That hacks me off as well. |
#4
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
Quote:
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#5
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
Yes often. A tutor at college once remarked that I looked as if I thought a bomb was about to go off or something.
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#6
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
Only once, and it was a year or two back, my neighbour said "Are you all right?" when she was confronting me about something that wasn't a big deal.
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#8
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
I remember the first thing my ex's dad said to me was, "Well, you look absolutely terrified". Used to be told all the time that I didn't need to be so scared, and still get it pretty often. Weirdly though, I seem to have replaced looking frightened with inane grinning because I get told I look happy quite a lot now, usually when I'm actually deep in anxiety.
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#9
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
Used to happen a fair bit in my early twenties, back when I had a social circle and would go places. I thought I'd stopped appearing that way until quite recently when I was on a course and a number of people made direct comments to me about how 'quiet' I was or how 'nervous' I looked at certain times. Alright, mun, you don't need to bloody tell me that, I know!
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#11
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
Yes,especially if I blush. I don`t know why but people seem to think commenting,often loudly `awww don`t blush` or `don`t be embarrassed` or `are you ok? what`s wrong,you look like a beetroot` (<actual quote I got one time) is supposed to help the blush recede? Um...yes,because having even more attention drawn to you is very useful
Ugh I`m having one of those hot-yet-cold shuddery things come over me just remembering. |
#12
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
^ Yes, and the people who pointed that out to you probably think that they have excellent social skills! I blush very easily too; it's something I've never been able to control.
When I was younger I was often told that l looked nervous, which made me feel exposed and vulnerable. I now have a 'poker face', which comes with its own set of problems... Men have often accused me of being too quiet, not smiling enough and even being a man-hater. I don't think that I'm rude, I'm just neutral towards them, and that seems to get their backs up. From what I've observed, the women who seem to get the best out of men know how to use their 'feminine wiles', but that makes me feel uncomfortable. Due to my extreme shyness as a teenager, I never learnt to flirt, so even if I wanted to communicate with men in that way, I wouldn't know where to start! |
#13
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
^ I think quite a lot of people mistake outgoing or even loud for equalling good social skills- to me tactless does not good social skills make
I second-guess myself so much if I let my brain go there that during any conversation I`ll think `oh,I`m smiling too much` *adjusts face` `now you look miserable` *adjusts face* `now everyone can see it`s as fake as it feels` ...`I`m talking too much` *shuts up* `well now it`s an awkward silence,quick say something`...`make eye contact you look shifty` `great now I look like I`m in some sort of stare off`....basically it can be a nightmare that never ends. The best way I`ve found to date of dealing with it has been to consciously not think about myself,ask about the other person to get them talking and concentrate on listening to their replies so I can ask a follow up. If I don`t do that I end up a wreck who feels unnatural no matter what stance I take,how I`m sitting,god it`s not uncommon to have an ongoing argument internally about blinking too much vs not blinking enough. It really is exhausting at times |
#14
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
I get told to cheer up a lot,
Stress just makes me want to sleep, so I probably just look tired more than nervous Neighbours have shouted at me as I go from my car to my house "for God's sake cheer up" Sometimes they shout "SMILE!" - yes, thanks for that amazing advice Mrs CJ Jung A group of women in my work stopped me in the office one day and took me to task over not smiling enough and apparently looking annoyed all the time, It just came across as victimisation and bullying, - it was just plain nasty and upset me quite a bit, especially as I've always steered clear of office staff and keep to myself, so I couldn't really see how it was such a big issue for them, big enough to drag me in and subject me to that 5 minute insult session basically |
#15
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
Not any more I'm largely recovered, but in the past when I would attempt exposure, yes quite often.
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#16
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
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Do men tell you to smile too, or is it just women? I'm not surprised you felt victimised when confronted in that way, especially by a group of women! In my experience, females are the worst psychological tormentors and can be very difficult to deal with. |
#17
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
Depends whether it's a total stranger or someone I'm acquainted with. The latter I don't mind and if anyitng welcome. The former, I'm inclined to tell them that it's inappropriate, that I don't feel comfortable talking about itt, that I don't know you.
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#21
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
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im against playing the victim but i admit it can catch me out sometimes and now and then that kind of taunting leaves me shaken and quite upset thankfully its not an everyday occurence otherwise id probably do time for these mutts |
#23
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
Yes, my sister can tell straight away, and she does point it out in a helpful way. But if a stranger pointed it out, I would be mortified and make a very hasty exit.
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#24
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
I had been out of work a while and decided to try my hand at a chefs course at college, thinking ah cooking is easy. I was so wrong. The lecturer said to me "calm down, your such a nervous wreck" as I was doing multiple things at once. I used to be such a level headed person, before my breakdown.
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#25
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
Yes many times, especially when you get complete strangers telling you to smile more, or worse when they say you look like you've got the world on your shoulders. I hate that, I wish people would mind their own business, anything could have happened to me to give me the worried look.
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#26
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
Lots when I was younger when my mouth would just seize up if someone spoke to me and the physical shaking was a real problem . Comments like "What's wrong with you? You're young you should be having fun" or just staring at me with a smirk on their face. Now I'm older I'm on Propanolol so don't shake so much for one but nobody seems to care anymore if I look anxious anyway.
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#27
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
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I grew up in a small, quiet village but unfortunately I can't afford to live there anymore and now live in social housing. It's not really a bad place to live - especially if you keep to yourself - but I'd love to go back to the countryside. |
#28
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
Yes I get this at work from time to time too.Sometimes on occasions when I'm actually not feeling too bad, so heaven knows what I must look like when the anxiety is really crunching me up. The other comment that crops up is along the lines of 'are you alright? You look really red in the face!' That comment has been delivered to me when I've NOT felt red in the face. So what must I look when I DO feel red? I know that people mean well but, dear Lord, I wish they just keep quiet some times. I just want to crawl away and disappear.
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#29
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Re: Has anyone every commented about how anxious you are/look?
Yes!
this has happened quit a few times, but the situation that still sticks out is getting my haircut a few years back now and the shop was crowded..I had sat in the "hot seat" and she started cutting my hair and there were people behind watching in the big mirror. I could feel my face starting to flush and I felt very anxious and self-conscious! tried to look down and hope it went away but the feelings became more intense and I glanced at myself in the mirror and I even saw how anxious I looked. She stopped half way through the cut and said "you looked terrified in a sort of unsympathetic way" people behind were staring at me, god knows what they were thinking. I was so relieved to get out! I now cut my own hair most of the time. |