Do you sometimes wish you had no close family ?

I do, the things they do just drag me down even more. I can't live with them, or without them. I hate my life so much.

My dad & brother are always bickering at each other, I can't stand it.

Yes, I'm afraid I feel the same.

Almost every member of my family seems to have a very specific nack of zapping any glimmer of positivity that I've managed to build up by being away from them.

I wish I'd never told my Mum and one of my brother's about having SA, depression etc (they're the only people aside from my psychiatrist that know about it).

The two family members don't get it it all and worse than that, it's obvious they can't really be bothered to try to understand it either.

Sod it, is my conclusion!

[Shanta]

sometimes, my brother constantly makes fun of me and my family tend to bring me down.

[scarlet_diva]

Yep I do wish that... all the time. Or at least that our r.ship wasn't as messed up and that they were a bit more nomal (hah!! I should talk!)
Luckily mine live abroad so I don't have much contact if I can help it though my Dad still insists on ringing twice a week. I have a sibling who lives even further way, we haven't spoken in over 5 years ; I'd rather die TBH. (it's a long story).
The whole family situation's a screw-up, total screw-up, I'm not surprised I ended up the way I did

More arguements today. Every day they pull me down and down.

[Maisie]

The sad thing is that families perpetuate problems. Parents screw up their children because they were screwed up, and they still do it even though they love them. They cant help it. Have you read 'They F*** You Up, how to survive family life' by Oliver James? it gives great insight into behaviour, expectations and the general madness of our relationships.

More quarrals today. Some people who have no close family don't know how lucky they are.

[Luna]

An unsupportive family definitely does more harm than no family at all.

It's only when you get away from the negativity that you can then actually get your life into perspective and start making postive steps to improve it.

[Rosiemoore]

On the other hand, if u have a family member / members who understand SA or have had it themselves, this is a precious gift!

At 28 I still don't know if I will marry and have children or even if I should dare to think about risking another generation getting SA like the past 3 generations of my family have done!

At least I have one SA cousin who will always be there in whatever circumstances.

[Worzel]

I only have my parents (who I wouldn't say I'm that close to) and my brother, who isn't around much. Id have all my other relatives back in a flash, but they don't want to know. So the answer to your question is no.

[LonelyGuy]

I have to say, I wish I had a huge extended family, a large central family home and watertight family network

Growing up with a father that saw fit to **** off when I was two, then subsequent years of crappy parents (rows etc) not to mention many inter family falling outs due to booze and stupidity, has seen me feeling like I have missed out big time

Of course folks fall out, but the family unit, thats where so much power comes from, whether crime families or Royal etc, none of those clowns seem to subscribe to the dumbed down crap they feed us re: not worrying about the seeming ever decreasing integrity of the modern family unit, no, for them, huge painted portraits and profound existential awareness (re: bloodlines) are key

Give me a family everytime

[LonelyGuy]

Originally Posted by jinxed

yeah, it definitely builds your confidence level to have a strong foundation LonelyGuy, that's if they're not abusive etc.

Of course Jinxed, I agree, but sometimes it only takes one abusive person to balls up someones mind, on the other hand, a tight family unit comprised of dozens of quality members would be a joy for me to be part of

[Urrm...hi!!]

This is an interesting question for me as my Mum died last year and...we did argue...and we did irritate each other...and I wasn't her favourite....but she was there for me when I needed her...and all that 'irritation' now seems to me...actually a close bond...kind of...I've grown up and moved away...look how annoyed I get with you....that proves I'm my own person...I think it kind of wasn't and that I still needed her...I just couldn't recognize it for what it was....and now she has gone!!!!

[wizzonli]

I agree with you, i personally have experienced this and it is fully justifiable; my uncle has never really been interested in me thus he never wishes to make conversation. Therefore, i pretty much mimic what he chooses to do and it seems quite fair that i do so.

[bluebottle]

I've got a rather screwed up family set-up... I better don't get started on that or I will type all night, suffice to say that they certainly didn't help with my SA. I haven't told any of them about SA and don't intend to as I know there would be no understanding at all.

The weird thing, however, is that my family members (my mother, her partner, and my grandfather) do support me in more practical matters (like help with moving house), plus they travelled abroad to visit me when I studied abroad, to sum it up I have seen that they do care even if they haven't always showed it in ways I would have wished them to. I used to wish I had no family but now I am actually glad they are there, I still wish they had given me a better start in life but I guess at the end of the day they did their best in the given circumstances.

I wish I had the balls (and money) to set up my own flat.
I'm sick of this crap.

Yeah, even an income of a couple of hundred a week would probably be enough, but on unemployment it's impossible.
I don't hate my family, quite the opposite, but a bit of space would be nice.

[fairyfingers]

I used to wish it for years until they all started passing away, now i wished i had made more of an effort to try and communicate with them.

[fairyfingers]

I get what you are saying Underground, very true of me too. I did not dislike my family they were just to painful to be around feeling like the useless left out one, and that i was an unwanted burden.

In the latter years my grandparents and father seemed to make an effort but by then i was very detached and not up to socialising. Now of course being past that it is hard to think maybe i was wrong all those years and should maybe have tried to communicate more, but you are very right that works both ways.

That is the thing i find hardest with SA never knowing how much of it is us and how much is others, and in the end does it really matter, i guess we all need to do what feels right.

Dont think i would have handled things drastically differently, but think at least making a call, sending a card just to let people you care about know they are in your thoughts goes a long way and means maybe more than we think to them.

[Andist]

When I'm at my wits end with life, I wish I didn't have a Son to stay alive for. On the other hand, I suppose that having kids doesn't stop people from topping themselves.