What would you do if....

[rackha]

Hello everyone. Im trying to reset my mind to get out of my agoraphobic state, and retrain any negative stuff so I can enjoy my life. Going through some excersices i can see that most of my agoraphobia boils down to worrying about what other may or may not people think of me. This makes me try and think of it life if differnt ways, similar to other questions posted on this forum recently. I apolagise in advance for my random ramblings but sometimes i like to write and think at the same time, and any discussion would be welcome to me (or call me an idiot if you like!) Anyway my quesiotns,

how would i act if i knew i had 1 day to live?
How would this differ if i knew i had 1-2 days to live?
What about 1-3? 1-5? 1-100? 1-20000?

(surprisingly 20,000 days is around 55 years, i thought my life may at least extends in the 100,000's of days, but now i find this is impossible!)

Or maybe another question :rolleyes:

Would i be any differnt if i fully appreciated the fact that when we die, we will not be able to take anything with us, weather it's my bass guitar, my house, or the memory of the the way that person looked at me when i had done something they didnt understand or were not used to seeing? Im sure it would, very much. I think if the threat of incarseration was removed i may even run down the street without any clothes on the moment i posted this message!

I know my body and mind has for the moment become a little lost and confused, i think partly that is becuase of the fact it has spent a lot of time worrying about things which really, have little or no consequence, like ' i wonder if my white socks look silly' or 'what if (insert nagative here) '!

The conundrum i always get is that i like the logical reasoning up to this point, as in there is no reason to worry about what someone i dont know (or do know, who ever) thinks about my proverbial socks, but then i go a bit too far and think what is the reason for anything, good or bad, whats the point even? (which is a very hard / impossible one to answer....). I came across something in this vein yesterday saying that western philosophers generally ask this question while looking the universe from a detached viewpoint, as opposed to from the perspective that we are part of the universe itself. Maybe things do not have to have reason and just are, a hard thing to accept maybe in our goal driven envoriment we live in.

I read this yeserday which i found on a website about meditation, i find it a good springboard for my mind!

Imagine if you will – just for a moment - that you are in prison. You are woken up at 5 in the morning (whether you want to get up of not), you have no control over your meals – you have to eat whatever is given to you and you are stuck in a prison cell all day and night.

Ignoring the ignominy, the humiliation of being in such a position, the essence of the hardship that you are being subjected to is that your freedom is restricted. You cannot go for a walk when you please, in the evening to admire the sunset, you cannot have a cup of coffee at Starbucks or Barista whenever you feel like it, you cannot socialize with your friends and family when you want, and you cannot work at your job or business. And any number of more such restrictions, loss of freedoms. I have never been to prison and had my freedoms taken away by society but there is one prison that still restricts my freedom and yours as well. And that is the prison of the self – the separate ego – that keeps me separate from the rest of existence, from the rest of the Universe. It keeps me from knowing my true nature, it keeps me from realizing that the Universe and I are one and not separate, that I am the Universe (or as is said in Hindu Philosophy – AHAM BRAHMASMI – I am Brahma).

Hmm i think i need to do some further reseach / thinking about all this....

Does anyone else ever get suprised how easy it is to get wrapped up in life's worried, only to repeatedly realise how small they really are (and then forget that realistion and then start worrying again)?!

heres the link for the page quoted above if you are interested http://www.eastern-philosophy-and-meditation.com/

and something that never fails to make me feel small

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=SpkS...os=bZyCM7LFvHo