Have you ever been told you make people feel uncomfortable?

[Sunrise]

Have you ever been told this? Were you told anything specific about what it was you were doing wrong?

How did you react to it? Did you look for ways to improve or did it make you more wary of others?

I have become ridiculously self-conscious about my behaviour lately because of this. I'm very wary of others and try to avoid certain people and situations. I completely avoid young women at work now, a bit incel-y I know but I'm very concerned about how my behaviour might be misinterpreted.

I'm very paranoid about being beaten up or attacked for being a weirdo. And as I live in the real life Royston Vasey it's a genuine, completely rational fear I think. They don't like difference around here.

I'm feeling more and more like I should just avoid people altogether. I'm not stupid, it might have took me a while but I've got the message that I'm not welcome. Maybe it's better just to respect other people's wishes.

[Dougella]

How recently has someone told you that you've made people uncomfortable? Or are you thinking of incidents from years ago?

[Sunrise]

Years ago.

[Dougella]

Ah, so these are things you're going over in your mind and wondering if people still think that of you?

[Sea]

If someone has told you this then clearly they have made you feel uncomfortable. So perhaps they ought to look at their own behaviour?

[gregarious_introvert]

I've been told this for most of my life, in one way or another; about 20 years ago, I thought I was making social connections for the first time, with an online group which used to meet (basically, for a piss-up) in various parts of the country until, after four meets, I was told that I was unwelcome because I made everyone feel uncomfortable; when I asked what I was doing to cause that, the reply was "You know". This is what makes things so difficult, that NT people assume that everyone is aware of how they are perceived. It would be another decade before I got feedback (about non-verbal communication) with which I could work.

These days, I don't seem to make people feel as uncomfortable, although I still don't have friends - part of that is having little in common with those geographically close to me. At least communication these days is civil rather than hostile.

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