Help?

[Mazal]

Hi everyone,

A friend just informed me about the very existence of the social anxiety disorder. This is following several discussions with her about my boyfriend, who I now think might have a social anxiety disorder.

I'd like to hear from your experience as social anxiety disorder sufferer if you believe that it may be the case...That would greatly help and maybe make our life much easier.

We've been dating for a year now and it hasn't always been easy - I'd say it has been difficult actually - to deal with the way he is in social contexts. I myself get uneasy at occasions but it's not comparable. He is a complicated man, he is bipolar, and has a past of drug abuse. He cannot be in a crowd, he gets panic attacks. Parties and dinner parties are a pain for him, I know he goes - when he does - just to please me. Before we met, he would usually escape without telling anyone as soon as he could. He says it's because he can't stand people drinking around him since he doesn't drink anymore - but he finds it hilarious when I'm typsy. He hates small talks, because he doesn't know what to say. Talking to people in general is an effort/a pain to him.

What are your thoughts?
I will obviously talk to him about my find about social anxiety disorder. I'm worried because he hates therapy because it involves talking (and he has done a lot - past of depression and rehab...).

Thanks a milllion in advance,

Mazal

[FunkyMonkey]

Hi,

I dont know anything about bipolar or what past drug abuse might do to someone. But if you took those 2 outta your post then i'd definetly say it sounds like social anxiety.

I think theirs a form you can fill out online and at the end of it it tells you wether or not you have social anxiety. (I forgot what site it is now im sure someone else will be able to post the link tho)

Its nice that you came online and looked into social anxiety though Hope u manage to talk him around to doin the form or goin to talk about his problems with someone else. ^_^ Maybe even if he just talks to ppl on here could help him understand?

Feel free to pm me if u (or him) want to ask anything

[helzy]

You're doing a wonderful thing by looking this up and talking to people about it, it's admirable for you to do that for someone in his situation. Half of the problem with social anxiety is that the sufferer often feels they have nobody to familiarise their problems with, so kudos to you for being ahead of the game!

It's not an easy path, but it certainly would help for him to talk to a health care professional. Nobody with SA ever throws themself fully into treatment without a care in the world, and it may take some persuasion, but it will do him the world of good to discover the roots of his problems. Everything you've described will ring true with every SA sufferer.

Continue being strong for him, guide him towards treatment, and seeing him progress will be more thanks than you could imagine.

[Mina]

Maybe the previous use of drugs and alcohol was because of SA? Lots of people use drugs or drink to help them feel brave enough to socialise or help them feel confident or equal to other people - so the two conditions could be interlinked.

Well done for noticing that your friend has difficulty with social activities and wanting to stand by him and hellp. If I had someone like that in my life, it would have helped me a lot. I know a lot of SA people feel very lonely, as the condition prevents us enjoying social contact and is also isolating because of people not knowing about it or not acknowledging it as a real condition e.g. I am too ashamed to tell my family as they would reject me for not being "normal" and my BF knows that I struggle but always tries to pass it off as "just being shy" because he doesn't want to admit that it's an actual condition.

Maybe you cold raise the subject gently next time you get an invite somewhere... and see where the conversation leads. If your friend is already on medication for depression it might just be a case of adjusting his tablets, as some anti-depressants can be effective in reducing anxiety symptoms too.

Maybe you could go to the doctors with him if he gets an appointment, to be his moral support? I have struggled to get my SA diagnosed as my SA involves a fear of authority, so I am scared of talking to doctors!

Good luck, and well done for all you're doing, a lot of us could use a friend like you

[cogent]

If he's Bipolar he will be under the supervision of a psychiatrist or at the very least monitored by his GP, these are the people to bring it up with. If he's Bipolar I'd be very wary of suggesting antidepressants without other meds as they can and often do result in hypomania/mania/psychosis.
The best thing he can do is mention it to his doctor if the SA is affecting his life and go from there.

Good luck...