"I will keep in touch"

[Sunset]

How many times have you heard that one only to be dissapointed when the person decides to completely blank you when you no longer have face to face contact.

I think these days i am encountering more and more two faced people who seem to be a friend until your use is over and then they quickly move on.

Ive just finished University and a few friends were gushing about how we must never lose contact....only 1 has been in regular contact. Am i exoecting too much from people?

I also have a lecturer who wants to know when and where i will geta job. The problem is by the time i do he is going to be on holiday and im getting anxious about how to contact him and keep in touch in the future.

I just wish that keeping in touch were easier. :rolleyes:

[Ben]

Welcome to the board!!

I think this sort of thing is quite common... You say 'lets keep in touch' to acquaintances, rather than real friends. If your honest, you have not contacted them to the same degree that they have not kept in touch with you.

Keeping in touch with peeps takes effort, on both sides, and if these are people you want to be a part of your life, its every bit yours as well as their, responsibility to make it happen.

Leaving uni is a big upheaval in anyones life, maybe they are caught up with life outside uni? Take a chance, send them a txt or email, and see what happens!

Good luck

[Winnie57]

Maybe best if you can is make a commitment to keep in touch. Exchange e-mail addresses, phone numbers and agree a time when one or other of you will contact the other. That way you won't feel like you are being a nuisance or intruding. They will be expecting the contact.

Welcome to the site by the way

[Sunset]

hi yall

yes you are probably right. It takes both people to make an effort.

[ratty]

Originally Posted by Sunset

How many times have you heard that one only to be dissapointed when the person decides to completely blank you when you no longer have face to face contact.

I think these days i am encountering more and more two faced people who seem to be a friend until your use is over and then they quickly move on.

Ive just finished University and a few friends were gushing about how we must never lose contact....only 1 has been in regular contact. Am i exoecting too much from people?

I also have a lecturer who wants to know when and where i will geta job. The problem is by the time i do he is going to be on holiday and im getting anxious about how to contact him and keep in touch in the future.

I just wish that keeping in touch were easier. :rolleyes:

Perhaps a good way to keep in touch with your lecturer would be to e-mail, and then he can read it once he's back from holiday and reply to you. Sorry if that's obvious and you meant something else!

I think lots of people, especially at uni, will say 'keep in touch' but never do, and unfortunately it's just the nature of life. I've found that I've met lots of people in my life, but they've kind of shredded away like a skin as time goes by. Sometimes it's just impossible to maintain contact if you don't have a very strong bond with someone, as you both grow apart and find new parts of life to concentrate on and 'lose' that common bond.

It's also something people sometimes say to lessen the goodbye - it makes it easier if you feel as if you are keeping in touch that it's not a final goodbye, when in reality it may be one more e-mail and then you never see each other again!

It's not a negative thing though - I find you usually learn at least one thing from everyone you spend time with, and you will have some friends/family who won't ever lose touch.

If you do want to keep in touch with people, it can be easy - e-mails or Facebook for example. I appreciate the meeting up/phone calls can be harder.

[Sunset]

yes alot of people say it, but the people i say it to are the ones i mean to keep in touch with. I guess the hurt comes from being genuine when others arnt.

Ive bought an address book, and i have four people i have written the numbers of in there. I guess its help me to focus on the ones i hold dear and forget the others.

Address books are wonderful i think, old fashioned but wonderful. Its not like a contacts list on a mobile phone.

[*bambi*]

I can relate to this really well. It's painful when you'd like to keep in touch with someone but they simply don't contact you.

But I also agree with the others, you need to question your own behaviour too and check whether you have actually contacted them and they failed to reply, or whether you are just waiting for them to make the first step??

As for me, I am now more active than I used to be in contacting people, but I still find myself giving up very easily if someone doesn't reply to one email / text, or sometimes if someone doesn't contact me first. Yet I find nothing wrong with it when other people send me 2 or 3 emails before I reply to them, but if it was me doing the same thing, I am sure that the other person would see me as desperate or an annoying stalker, so I usually back off quite soon.

A shame really as for some people it might just take one remainder and they would get in touch. From observing my own behaviour I have seen that I sometimes don't reply to emails immediately, so why should I expect others to be different?

Anyway, I hope your uni friends will get in touch.

Will you let us know?

[Undecided]

Hi Sunset,

Like you say it hasn't been long since you finished uni so perhaps people will be in contact with you shortly. Maybe people have been away on holiday/travelling or busy job hunting/settling into their new job.

You have 1 friend that has kept in regular contact which is great. Do you live close enough to meet regularly? If not, maybe you could go and stay with him/her for a weekend? Also, don't be nervous about initiating contact with your other uni friends. I'm sure they'll be really pleased to hear from you

[Topaz]

Sometimes its just not worth flogging yourself to death over trying to in touch with people, make the effort but then if they can't be bothered to do the same then its best to leave it, i'll always make sure i haven't missed replying to people and that way i know its not me. I've had people disappear for a long time then get back in touch..just how people are i suppose

Its a bit annoying when you've become real friends with people and think you'll always stay in touch and then they don't, then you start to wonder if its your own fault. I'll stick with those who stick with me and if they'd rather not then a big fat raspberry and they probably weren't worth the effort anyway.

[Sphinx]

It is a shame when you lose touch with a friend. Though I'm pretty bad at it myself, I left uni in December and said that I'd go back and visit my friends but I never have.. I find myself not wanting to talk to them which is odd.

One of them sometimes makes the effort to talk to me over msn but it just isn't the same. I think I have a habit of pushing people away to be honest.

[Defiance]

about a year ago I became good friends with someone on a cource and we kept in touch via myspace.

back then my SA was worse so i was too afraid to ask them to do something socially.

so anyway we messaged back and forth for a while ...but as the months past i found it was 80% of the time me doing the messaging and he was taking longer and longer to reply to messages ..and occasionly not replying at all

around a month ago i finally asked the person if they fancied a game of pool or something as i hadn't seen them in a while ........and they blanked me, read the message (you can tell if they read it on myspace) ..but hasn't replied

now i'm like **** it. i really can't bothered any more. seems to me like as the months past he decided he dosen't want to continue being friends anymore ..and perhaps dosen't want to come out and say it. ..well thats the impression i've got. anywhoo ..i'm not gonna bother messaging him about anything any more. can't be assed. I still think it was rather rude to ignore me. guess it's time to move on.



alot of people are like that, they'll say they'll keep in touch when infact they don't. or perhaps they do mean to keep in touch ..but once the cycle breaks and they don't see you often they will tend to move on in thier lives and ignore you

[Sunset]

i think its easier to ignore things like instant messaging and messages on myspace.

I dont use any of those internet ways of keeping in touch. I prefer a phone call or face to face.

I think sometimes you make what i think of as circumstance friends...ie you are thrown together with people on a course and its a question of ...need someone to talk too etc.