Have you ever been 'de-friended'?

[coraljo]

This happened to me twice when I was at school. I had hardly any friends and so really valued the ones I did have. The first time it was just so strange. It was secondary school and I was probably about 14/15 and one day out of the blue at school, he just started completely ignoring me. He stopped sitting next to me in class, brought things into school (presents) for our two mutual friends but not me and barely, if at all, spoke to me. School was difficult as it was so this just crushed me. The weird thing is is that one day, out of the blue, sometime later, he started speaking to me again. I don't think I ever got, or asked for an explanation as to why he did that, I think I was just desperate for friends so I just got on with it and accepted it. That was twenty years ago.

The second time was with one of the other few friends I had at school but a bit later. We were in college and just before A-level exam time, he just disappeared. I think he must have been having problems at home (his mum wanted him to work instead of studying) and he just left and went to his Nan, who lived a distance away. He came back for the exams but hardly spoke to me and then disappeared again. I text him a few times but barely got any response (mostly one word answers if at all) so I didn't bother again as he obviously had no interest in staying in contact.

That was the last friend I had and I have not had any since

[Scott83]

Originally Posted by Moksha

I think I would do the same if I could. If I could leave my home town I wouldn't stay in touch with anyone. It would be great to have a fresh start. (I never would, by the way, as I have an ageing, widowed mother and a mentally ill younger sister to look after). But if it wasn't for them I'd quite enjoy moving to a new town and making a new set of friends. It isn't that I hate the people I've known up to now, more that they bring back bad memories. They also know about my past, so when I see them I feel a sense of shame. I have a secret fantasy of moving away from Essex to the south coast, somewhere like Plymouth or Eastbourne, and not even telling anyone - just vanishing one day. I think this is what appeals to people about university. It's an opportunity to wipe away the past. No one there remembers the time you wet yourself at school, or got beaten up in a fight, or made an idiot of yourself at a party, and so on. It must be like being re-born.

I'm not sure it would be that easy. Sure, strangers in a new place wouldn't know anything of your old life which I agree would be great. It's the effect your past life has had upon shaping you as a person that I think would be hard to escape. If you're socially awkward like me then moving to a new place might be great in the short term but eventually that lack of social skills would prevail and any new friends one made would no doubt ask questions about ones past etc.

[Bluebear]

Only by people who were pretending to be a decent person (with integrity) but were not... I'm not saying there is anything wrong with people wanting to leave bad experiences behind.

[flkpeoos]

Honestly, I do not care about being defriended. Nothing special and hurting. Moreover, I sometimes defriend the people myself. There are some people that I have not seen for ages after moving to a new area https://postcodefinder.net/ . It is better to say they were accidental acquaintances even at the old place. So why to follow someone you never communicate? It is obvious you can easily defriend.

[Bluebear]

Originally Posted by flkpeoos

Yes, a couple of people. One whom I thought the world of, and I still get upset over.

Welcome to the forum. That must have really hurt.