22 years old no dating experience

[custom_fusion-lqx]

if i never date ever up to 22 how in the hell will i ever manage?

[GhostOnMagneticTape]

I didn't have my first date until I was over 25. I made such a tw*t of myself... I mumbled to her "this is my first date ever". *head desk*

It takes courage and willpower to confront your fears. Don't force yourself to date though, only do it when you feel ready in yourself to try dating.

[custom_fusion-lqx]

^ thanks its nice you got ther eventually, the big problem is finding a sucker to date me

problems-

OCD
generally weird
nervous tensions
paranoid deluded thoughts

[custom_fusion-lqx]

Originally Posted by NRG.89

23 next month, same situation ;D

I need to sign up to a gym before I try that kinda thing tbh.

YEH bro the woman at the job place told me to join this gym think in correlation with the doctors where you get a private trainer and it doesnt cost much, still wont do it, to shy.

[WeiJingsheng]

Originally Posted by custom_fusion-lqx

YEH bro the woman at the job place told me to join this gym think in correlation with the doctors where you get a private trainer and it doesnt cost much, still wont do it, to shy.

Why did she say that?

[custom_fusion-lqx]

^ its at this job recuritment agency i looked really nervous and they asked if i had problems i said i had seirous anxiety and they said to join gym via doctors and get private tutor to help build my muscles for confidence.

[Progress]

My first was late twenties, but I kept quiet about it being my first. Don't think I made a great impression, but I survived.
I agree with AlienBuddha try not to put pressure on yourself, take your time.

[Toxic]

well ive had 2 iffy relationships ive only been on one "date" i suppose when i was 16

the thought of one now terrify's me..id be throwing up thinking about it, waiting for them to arrive..thinking what to say etc..i dont think making a good impression would be on my list of things to do..or anywhere near the top!

22 isnt that old i dont think tbh, just need to somehow keep anxiety at bay for a while so you can get your true personality across somehow (i have no idea how to do that bit )

[custom_fusion-lqx]

^ thanks for replies above emma, toxic, progress

i read them tommorow just had a bad anxiety attack (heart pains etc.) gonna shut off internet and cool down.

[peterjohn]

I've had one date in the last 12 years, which was last year, and there was no follow up from the lady. I still live in hope of my next date. I wish you success too.

[MrMr]

This may be unpopular to say, but personally I'd say the opposite of the general theme of replies.

22 soon becomes 25 soon becomes 30 soon ends up with you feeling great regret about your lost youth, trapped by fear and deeply unhappy. That's what happened to me and has to many of us on this site. It's a future you can start working to avoid, now.

Start leaning into your fears a little bit every day. It will get messy at times, it's the price of steering the ship back on course.

Point is, don't let it drag on like I did, thinking I had time...it was a mistake and maybe I wasn't ready, but if I could talk to my younger self I would say what I am saying here.

P.S. happy to say I have a lovely girlfriend now :D

[Mr. Nobody]

Originally Posted by MrMr

22 soon becomes 25 soon becomes 30 soon ends up with you feeling great regret about your lost youth, trapped by fear and deeply unhappy. That's what happened to me and has to many of us on this site. It's a future you can start working to avoid, now.

excellent point,

I'm pretty sure the reason my anxiety, stress and avoidance got to such unmanageable levels was by letting myself off the hook too many times and putting things off till a later date, thinking everything will be okay one day.

you really have to try and get help for SA as soon as you can, putting things off is equal to getting more bogged down in avoidance and less able to actually recover.
the longer you leave it, the harder it will be to get over this and recover.
I'm sure the avoidance is what strengthens SA,..
I just wish I knew what was wrong with me all those years ago.

I was over 42 before I got my first date.

[Johnni]

22 yrs old aint that bad tbh, could be worse could be my age in the same situation . Agree with what MrMr said, happened to me.

[custom_fusion-lqx]

Thanks everyone

what i meant about dating was experience but also ive never been with a girl before e,g had a girlfriend etc.

[GhostOnMagneticTape]

Don't feel that you have to go out and do certain things by a certain age, society does apply a lot of pressure on us I agree "we must do this and that" but really if you think about it more deeply, who is to define and set a standard on what we do in OUR lives? No one! I've said this before, life is not a competition, only if you make it one.

I've been on a few dates after I was 25 (but not for a while now), I'm now 37 and still never had a girlfriend... sometimes it does bother me I admit, sometimes I look at it philosophically and accept it.

[here4help]

I'm on the same boat too. I'm 22 also (23 in October) and have never had a girlfriend before. The funny thing is I'm really good looking, or so I'm told. I get attention from girls at first, but I think they quickly lose interest in me. I now know it's all down to my personality and not my looks.

I'm shy and rarely approach girls. I wait for them to come to me. That's not the way it works unforunately. Nearly all girls expect the man to make the first move. I keep to myself but I can be chatty at the same time. I need the other person to kickstart the conversation.

I think I need to work on my social skills before I'm mature enough to start a relationship. I'm young and there is still a lot of time, but if I don't try now I never will.

[ghost.of.an.englishman]

Originally Posted by here4help

The funny thing is I'm really good looking, or so I'm told

if that's true get yourself on a dating site quick if you’re very good looking you won’t have any trouble getting girls interested and cause it’s online your shyness won’t really show

[GhostOnMagneticTape]

Originally Posted by no-moving-lines

if that's true get yourself on a dating site quick if you’re very good looking you won’t have any trouble getting girls interested and cause it’s online your shyness won’t really show

Until they demand to speak on the phone or have a date... then sh*t hits the fan! Speaking from my own experiences, meh.

Good looks may be a bonus to attracting someone online but one needs the confidence and communication skills in reality to take things further.

[PanMaster]

All I know is that moaning about things on this forum won't change anything and no-one is entitled to anything.

[LordSnow]

I'm 19 so I guess I shouldn't worry about these kind of things because I'm just like a teenager basically *rolls eyes*

Dates? I think even without SA I couldn't go on a date, way too much pressure.

[Nikkos]

Never ever dated just hung out with girls and things moved on from there sometimes its best to not get into anything heavy.

[Tetsuaiga]

Sometimes I think its best to just get to know a girl without even mentioning dating. If you like her I expect she'll be able to tell and if she likes you, you'll be able to tell and then maybe it can move on.

It's very difficult for that to happen if you arnt socially active or work alongside single females so where on earth do u meet people u come into contact with regularly, I dont know. I've looked on dating site and it probably sounds rude but so many of the girls on there just seem like real chavvy trash, I suppose it makes sense as a lot of them are leftovers that no one else wanted usually because they are difficult people, but guess its a place to try anyway.

[STRING3R]

I'm in the same boat, 21 years old and never dated a girl. Although to be perfectly honest I don't have the desire to get a girlfriend anyway.

[Dandelion10]

You don't need to do anything, you'll just get an uncontrollable desire to someone and end up getting off passionately with them at a party or something. Obvsly you need to LET yourself, that's the biggest barrier but the rest is there without a doubt.

[Johnni]

Originally Posted by Dandelion10

You don't need to do anything, you'll just get an uncontrollable desire to someone and end up getting off passionately with them at a party or something. Obvsly you need to LET yourself, that's the biggest barrier but the rest is there without a doubt.

Have to disagree with that, it wont just happen as you describe ( well some) but it dont.

[The Chosen One]

Originally Posted by Dandelion10

You don't need to do anything, you'll just get an uncontrollable desire to someone and end up getting off passionately with them at a party or something. Obvsly you need to LET yourself, that's the biggest barrier but the rest is there without a doubt.

And what happens if you dont get invited to parties or worse hardly have any friends? Your chances decrease significantly.

[ghost.of.an.englishman]

Originally Posted by AlienBuddha

Until they demand to speak on the phone or have a date... then sh*t hits the fan! Speaking from my own experiences, meh.

Good looks may be a bonus to attracting someone online but one needs the confidence and communication skills in reality to take things further.

uhm…well that’s basically true. but dating sites are good for people taking their very first steps cause, if the other posters are anything like I was, the reason they haven’t even tried is they think there’s no-one in the world who would be interested lol. Getting some interest in dating sites will deflate that.

[Progress]

Originally Posted by NRG.89

Not when you are aware that the majority of 'female' profiles on dating sites are either women stroking their ego or people being paid to keep you on the site

I wondered if that happened. That's got to be fraud hasn't it.

[ghost.of.an.englishman]

^^ From what I’ve seen there aren’t many of the latter. and the one’s out there are transparent!

There are quite a few of the former…but a cynic might say that going on a dating site to get over your inferiority and rejection issues is a subtle form of ego stroking anyway. I’m not saying they’re all that good for meeting people (unless you’re very good looking like that other guy lol), but they are useful for making some progress with the baggage that’s keeping a guy stuck in square one.