Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

[Rocket Spud]

When they say 'enjoy your evening' and you're walking away with an arsenal of booze ... i hope they think i'm sharing it with someone/people

[newbs16]

Originally Posted by Ramon

hm checkout person just now said 'have a good evening'. Now I'm double analysing what her meaning was, and why she said it.

They are just being polite.

[newbs16]

You can just be there for them @muggins, I'm sorry to hear that someone dear to them has passed away.

[Rocket Spud]

Bloody weather, at least we had a glimpse of what may come, now it's back to being dreary and wet

[Fantastical]

After nearly a month you do not get to message me and pretend you care. You didn't want anything to do with me because I was struggling and in that month it's got worse and worse. You only messaged me because you needed me to do something. If you actually cared you wouldn't have acted like that in the first place.

I still really miss you and feel completely shit about it. I ****ing hate myself and blame myself for being a selfish ****. You don't get to act as if you care. **** off. **** off.

Relationships aren't real if one person's response to the other person feeling depressed and anxious is to get angry with them and blame them and want nothing to do with them. After over a year and a half.

I'm having to self harm a lot just to get through each day. Don't pretend like you give a shit.

Can't deal with this. Still really miss you and I'm stupid for doing that. You clearly don't care.

[Mo34]

Originally Posted by newbs16

Do you have to go for a interview?

Don't know . It's a form 1st then they either decide on paper using just your form or give you an assessment appointment. Last 2 times they didnt call me for assessment. Which means I'm probably well overdue....

[newbs16]

I'll be glad to go home today, I feel so bloated.

[Mo34]

I'm glad to be home too. Tired.
My dad is somewhat better. Spoke to the doc and there not sure if it's an infection or a blood clot on the lungs. There seeing how effectively the antibiotics work and are going to do more scans apparently. They may also if he's kidneys can tolerate it (cause he's diabetic) also give him a ct with contrast on his lungs to look for a clot. Still he was brighter and could talk better. Still on oxygen/drip/heart monitor tho.

[Pandapop]

That IT trailer has got me so excited, think I'm going to read the book again. HYPE.

[blancmange]

^^ Glad to hear he's doing a little better

[Mo34]

Originally Posted by Dimplesxo

^^ Glad to hear he's doing a little better

Thanks Dimplesxo

[Silent Ninja]

Originally Posted by Muggins

^^ Maybe the highlight of that teachers day is seeing you on the bus each morning, Ninja

Not too sure about that, I'm beginning to think I may the "that creepy guy on the bus" (but I'm okay with that I guess).

[Merritt]

I'm thinking about how much I worry about how I take care of myself despite living a relatively clean lifestyle. People spend years taking drugs and come out the other side alright, while I feel like if I eat a frozen pizza more than once a week I'm going to do irreparable harm to my body.

Originally Posted by Pandapop

That IT trailer has got me so excited, think I'm going to read the book again. HYPE.

I loved the book, but God, I'm never reading it again. 1,100 pages, Stephen? I mean, come on.

[Omar Little]

First night in weeks that I actually fell asleep at a reasonable hour. My sleep was finally going to be back on track. Then I get a phone call at 1am from someone who needed me to get up and out of bed and away to their house. I was having crazy night terrors though about a tiny, demented clay man who was chasing me about with a stick. I kept waking up screaming.

The thing I suspected a few weeks back turned out to be right.
Balls.

[Oddity]

[Omar Little]

^Ah you swine.
Still, that makes me glad it wasn't a white clay guy in my dreams, that white guy morph hung about with was scary af.

[Oddity]

This the guy?

[Omar Little]

^Aye, that evil maniac.


I feel physically sick with worry now for my brother, and my heart is breaking for him.

[anxiouslondoner]

I'm decorating the flat with soft furnishings bearing the hooded skeletal figure of death himself.
Mark my words, there will be reaper cushions.

[Professor Willow]

Why do I feel so tired?
I'm asleep on my feet, it's horrible

[Omar Little]

Ah, my brother's gone to the crisis unit. What I feared happening is happening. He's a broken man.
I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say to him. I have no answers for him.

[Dougella]

^ I hope your brother will be ok Omar. Sometimes all you can do is be there for someone.

[Omar Little]

Thanks, Dougella. Aye, that's all I can do.
He'll be okay for tonight now. The doc gave him some sleeping pills and he's away to sleep.
I feel like a zombie from lack of sleep. Wish i had a bleeding sleeping pill.

[Olly.]

Sorry to hear that Omar, hope he will be okay

[Silent Ninja]

Hope your brother is alright Omar.

[Silent Ninja]

I really think I should walk out of my crappy job tomorrow, I can't take that place or those people anymore.


The only problem is I'm so useless at doing anything I doubt I'd get another job and end up never working again but I really would love to just leave and hope they have to actually do some work for a change.

[Omar Little]

Thanks guys.
God, when is real life never not shit?

It's probably not a good time to walk out of your job, Ninja. Unless you can support yourself financially for the time it'll take you to get another job.
Find yourself another job to walk into first. Make getting another job your main focus. I've walked out of jobs before; it never ended well for me.

[Silent Ninja]

^ I don't think walking out would be good for me either, I think I'd struggle like anything to get anything else.

The way my mind works though I sort of need to just end one thing before I can start another so I think I really do need to quit and then I could work up to getting something new, plus I can't see how I'd get through four weeks there after giving in my notice if I did manage to get another job before leaving.


I'm probably not going to quit really, I'll just end up sucking up all the crap and being miserable all the time while wishing I was the kind of person who could do things like get a new job and have friends and stuff.


My life plan of everything working out in the end if I just won the lottery hasn't come to much and I'm thinking I should have worked on other options a bit harder years ago but I'm beginning to think it's all too late for me now and I'm stuck in a cesspit of a life forever.

[ghost.of.an.englishman]

sorry you're having such a bad time Omar.

^ It is very hard job hunting when you work a draining job you don't like, isn't it. Even if you devote an hour or so a week it's something. That's my thinking, anyway.

I've got an interview for a sales job phoning people about insurance. Can you imagine anything worse.

[Silent Ninja]

Originally Posted by ghost.of.an.englishman

sorry you're having such a bad time Omar.

^ It is very hard job hunting when you work a draining job you don't like, isn't it. Even if you devote an hour or so a week it's something. That's my thinking, anyway.

I've got an interview for a sales job phoning people about insurance. Can you imagine anything worse.

That is one of my problems, it's not like I was actively seeking new jobs before or had the confidence to believe I could get one but now it just seems like something completely impossible to achieve and I can't even really dream of a new job as I've been turned into some kind of zombie who feels nothing but the crushing disappointment of realising I cannot function in any kind of normal way.