SAUK Discussion Board

Go Back   SAUK Discussion Board > SAUK Community > Club 30-81
Join! Blogs FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Notices

Closed Thread  Post New Thread
 
Thread Tools
  #91  
Old 16th October 2008, 21:06
Dannysbabe Dannysbabe is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Essex
Posts: 863
Default Re: How many of us over 30's stay at home?

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Prisoner
Hi, I used to work, but the SA got too much, havent worked for about 9 years now, would love to be able to do just a few hours somewhere, just to get me out of the house and back into society!
Have you thought about doing some voluntary work?
  #92  
Old 16th October 2008, 23:25
png png is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 5,546
Default Re: How many of us over 30's stay at home?

I've had to go back to living with my parents for most of the past 2 years after having been independent for the previous ~12 years, and it's been pretty humiliating and depressing tbh. I'd like to be able to just move back to where I used to live and then start looking for work there. But it's very difficult to move to somewhere when you don't already have a job since landlords won't touch you (or they request daft amounts of money up front). And it's difficult to get a job somewhere when you're living 400 miles away. Add to that all the trouble I'm having with finding job references and the work history checks and it all makes me feel decidedly trapped.
  #93  
Old 20th October 2008, 19:56
The Prisoner The Prisoner is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 25

Mood
Sweettooth

Default Re: How many of us over 30's stay at home?

Thanks Dannysbabe for the idea of voluntary work, got an interview with someone tomorrow who helps people with mental health problems get into voluntary work as a start,im petrified but my daughters coming to support me (and to make sure i dont do a runner!) The Prisoner
  #94  
Old 21st October 2008, 20:26
Dannysbabe Dannysbabe is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Essex
Posts: 863
Default Re: How many of us over 30's stay at home?

How did it go?
  #95  
Old 22nd October 2008, 01:09
[MiffyKoala] [MiffyKoala] is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Derby, UK.
Posts: 527

Mood
Lurking

Default Re: How many of us over 30's stay at home?

i live at home and stay in it unless my bf comes round to pick me up and we do go out most friday nights, i wouldnt go without him though, too scary!

i do wish i was well enough to work/deal with working...im getting there but its hard.
  #96  
Old 22nd October 2008, 01:11
[MiffyKoala] [MiffyKoala] is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Derby, UK.
Posts: 527

Mood
Lurking

Default Re: How many of us over 30's stay at home?

aw thats briliiant! good luck!
  #97  
Old 22nd October 2008, 01:50
Stepford Stepford is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 3,370

Mood
Notamused

Default Re: How many of us over 30's stay at home?

My partner and I stay at home most of the time and very rarely socialise. I really cannot be dealing with all the shit that comes with going out - too many nasty prats about being stupid nasty tossers. I'm getting too old for that these days and quite like sitting by the fire in my smoking jacket and comfy slippers, puffing away at my pipe (ooh er). So I'm only in my forties but it isn't that bad - I'm looking to employ a nurse next to help me with a few bodily functions when the misses ain't looking...
  #98  
Old 22nd October 2008, 12:27
Lsb Lsb is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Kent
Posts: 150
Default Re: How many of us over 30's stay at home?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Defiance
tsk...
better not let Jeremy Kyle here you say that ....
I know lol....I wouldn't last 1 minute on his show.

I'm not saying I think I can get away with not working, but it doesn't stop me wishing I could

Every day I go to work, it hurts....it's awful. Is life this awful worth living? I can't bear working at this place any more, that's for certain, I'd do anything to get out of here. I don't know what to do now though. I think I'm in deep doodoo...
  #99  
Old 22nd October 2008, 12:35
The Prisoner The Prisoner is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 25

Mood
Sweettooth

Default Re: How many of us over 30's stay at home?

Hi Dannysbabe,
saw a lovely lady yesterday, shes taking me to a local garden nursery on friday where most of the staff are volunteers who have some kind of disability, helps everyone to be in a working enviroment. im absolutely petrified but another part of me is excited im going to make myself go cos shes really making an effort to help me The Prisoner
  #100  
Old 22nd October 2008, 15:43
clairabella clairabella is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: bristol
Posts: 10
Default Re: How many of us over 30's stay at home?

i have worked part time most of my life, with periods of being alone eg when a student - found sa unbearable sometimes, but also found that when i stopped having to see people every day - always with enormous relief! - that my sa just magnified ridiculously.

have been off work now probably about a year, got physically ill so missed a lot, then depression/sa made the thought of going back absolutely intolerable and have been off work ever since. however thought i'd use the time to put some work into my mental health, so have been going to counsellor, and various other things to build myself up. thought about trying vountary work. part of the problem i always had with paid work was that i felt so guilty about not being good enough, particularly if i ever had sick days from depression, and the thought that i was getting paid not to be there made me feel terrible, and guilty, and that everyone would hate me! got totally paranoid about that aspect of it.

anyway, am waffling, but what i was going to say was that have started volunteering - first at a city farm - gardening, and similarly to yours people work there with mental/physical health problems. that was ok, do a couple of hours a week, also have just started volunteering in an adult literacy class. and what i have found is that volunteering goes a long way to sorting out this worry about not being good enough - you are doing them a favour by being there, and in some environments they just love you for going! - this is what i get in my class, they are all clamouring for my help and attention, and they tell me how lovely i am and stuff, and this is such a huge self esteem boost, and really valuable in countering sa feelings.

anyway hope your volunteering works out for you, if the first doesnt seem right keep trying different things and i am sure that you will find one that makes you feel good
  #101  
Old 23rd October 2008, 00:59
Dannysbabe Dannysbabe is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Essex
Posts: 863
Default Re: How many of us over 30's stay at home?

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Prisoner
Hi Dannysbabe,
saw a lovely lady yesterday, shes taking me to a local garden nursery on friday where most of the staff are volunteers who have some kind of disability, helps everyone to be in a working enviroment. im absolutely petrified but another part of me is excited im going to make myself go cos shes really making an effort to help me The Prisoner
Thats really good! Hope it goes well for you, and try not to worry too much I'm sure it'll be fine : )
  #102  
Old 24th October 2008, 16:54
The Prisoner The Prisoner is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 25

Mood
Sweettooth

Smile Re: How many of us over 30's stay at home?

Hi everyone,
just wanted to say i went today about volunteering at the garden nursery, they were really nice, going to give it a go on wednesday morning to see how i like it, i didnt manage to say much as i was so nervous, but i think it will get better if it can stick with it.
  #103  
Old 24th October 2008, 20:25
png png is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 5,546
Default Re: How many of us over 30's stay at home?

Well done Jackie, good luck for Weds

Quote:
Originally Posted by clairabella
thought about trying vountary work. part of the problem i always had with paid work was that i felt so guilty about not being good enough, particularly if i ever had sick days from depression, and the thought that i was getting paid not to be there made me feel terrible, and guilty, and that everyone would hate me! got totally paranoid about that aspect of it.
I recognise a lot in what you wrote clairabella. When I had a breakdown 5 years ago I should have just gone on sick-leave like anyone else, but couldn't face the guilt from being paid for nothing, and so resigned instead. Ridiculous really; it goes to show how powerful the guilt complex is I guess... Anyway, good post

Last edited by png; 24th October 2008 at 20:28. Reason: Patronising?
  #104  
Old 25th October 2008, 01:28
Dannysbabe Dannysbabe is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Essex
Posts: 863
Default Re: How many of us over 30's stay at home?

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Prisoner
Hi everyone,
just wanted to say i went today about volunteering at the garden nursery, they were really nice, going to give it a go on wednesday morning to see how i like it, i didnt manage to say much as i was so nervous, but i think it will get better if it can stick with it.
Well done, all the best for Wednesday
  #105  
Old 23rd November 2008, 00:19
Kezg Kezg is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Warwick, Warwickshire
Posts: 3
Default Re: How many of us over 30's stay at home?

I'm 31 , I do work but stay at home mainly in the evenings and on a weekend.
  #106  
Old 27th November 2008, 14:46
Lizzybeth Lizzybeth is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6
Default Re: How many of us over 30's stay at home?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie.J.
ditto to the letter apart from the fact i'm 29 and only have 2 kidlings.
Are you me?
Closed Thread

Thread Tools

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 12:17.


SAUK Award
Logo designed by abc
Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.