Stuck in limbo

[Duke of Prunes]

Haven't posted on here for ages but I need to vent a bit.

I've been stuck in the same old routine for years now. No goals achieved, no friends made, no experiences – nothing. I've wasted what should have been be the best years of my life thinking about the things I'd like to do and then not doing them. Days just keep going by faster and faster, and now it has got to the point that whole months worth of memories just merge together into one grey blob of boringness.

It's as if I have some kind of terminal illness of the mind (I guess it's called depression and/or depersonalisation) that's destroying my personality, and as soon as I realise what's happening, that clarity disappears and before I know it I'm back to staring into space and waiting to die.

If anyone here feels like this, you're not alone.

tl;dr everything is boring.

[clyde33]

I'm similar as i look back on the last twenty years and really haven't done much other than get my degree, but that was due to my mum being in my ear-hole and not because i really wanted to do it - i was too scared of disappointing her so i stuck at it. I've been to quite a few countries but that was due to my ex-partner having a love of traveling and booking trips abroad. Now, my goals are getting to the end of each day of work, then getting to the end of the week. I really have no "drive" as my husband puts it. I'm not sure why, other than the fact i'm a bit lazy. I'm just happy floating along each day i guess. Some of my friends are really ambitious but i'm just not.

[mossieman]

Did'nt think i'd seen you posting for a while Duke but then not been on much myself.
That fact aside I have nothing to add really as I could have written your post myself, word for word and it is a perfect description of my life

[Silent Ninja]

I'm pretty much the same, never made any progress after getting a job 13 years ago and haven't really even tried.

The last 13 years is just a blob of memories and I can't really tell how long ago any situation I'm remembering is as every year is pretty much the same as the last to me (I use when we moved location at work to help tell when thing happened, if we hadn't done that I'd have no idea of the chronology of my working life).

[sillypenguin]

My 20s have been a depressive loophole of being unable to hold down/find a 'decent' job, having no security, having no home of my own, losing more friends than making them, my greatest accomplishments usually made while intoxicated, having dreams but been able to even remotely try to make them happen. Having no confidence to do anything worthwhile I guess kind of sick of being on this awful repeat year in. Only good things is going trips abroad and having my amazing partner by my side but everything else seems pretty tragic. Really I should use this as motivation to do better but procrastination is my biggest problem

[-Simon-]

I'm not sure that there are goals or milestones we have to achieve in order to have lived a worthwhile life. You do what you have to do until you die. In the meantime you can identify things which you can do to allow you to experience a sense of achievement. For some people this would be climbing mount everest or trekking to the north pole, for others it will be shopping around for the cheapest car insurance or clearing out their bathroom cabinet. I'd rather know where my toothpaste is than where to stick my flag in some freezing arse end of nowhere. Don't worry about what you suppose others might think is important, concentrate on what's important and worthwhile to you. (I've had a drink)

[GoldFish]

It doesn't take that long to pick up a skill....

For instance I've recently been learning synthesisers and you get better and better with every practice session...

So you can change things and start learning things fairly quickly and it's actually fun, it's not a chore or a hassle at all..

All you need to do is start doing the things you want and living in the now....

It doesn't take long to progress once you start.

So to break the limbo you are in, maybe just try starting these things and set some reminders in your phone that pop up and tell you to get started..

The key is to be your own motivational coach, because being your own coach works. What I mean is, in the back of your mind telling yourself "alright, enough, it's time to start doing this now and I'm going to enjoy it".

Stuff like that.

[PanMaster]

I haven't achieved anything for years either.

Apparently I haven't posted for a while.

[Duke of Prunes]

Originally Posted by -Simon-

I'm not sure that there are goals or milestones we have to achieve in order to have lived a worthwhile life. You do what you have to do until you die. In the meantime you can identify things which you can do to allow you to experience a sense of achievement. For some people this would be climbing mount everest or trekking to the north pole, for others it will be shopping around for the cheapest car insurance or clearing out their bathroom cabinet. I'd rather know where my toothpaste is than where to stick my flag in some freezing arse end of nowhere. Don't worry about what you suppose others might think is important, concentrate on what's important and worthwhile to you. (I've had a drink)

By goals I don't mean bucket list type stuff, just the usual milestones that almost everybody else achieves seemingly automatically. Shopping around for car insurance? Pfft I don't even have a licence.

[redcard]

Originally Posted by Duke of Prunes

By goals I don't mean bucket list type stuff, just the usual milestones that almost everybody else achieves seemingly automatically. Shopping around for car insurance? Pfft I don't even have a licence.

So instead of thinking about goals you don't want to, or can't, achieve, why not think about those you can achieve?