Hello

[Charlotte05]

Hello, I’m Charlotte and I guess I’ve joined this website because I feel stuck at the moment. I’ve known I’ve had Social Anxiety for a while now but it just seems to be increasingly hard to get anything to change.

I went through a pretty rough time back during my last few years at school and eventually ended up having a home tutor instead which helped at the time (I managed to take and pass my GCSEs) but it’s also cut me off from pretty much everyone and made my social life non-existent. I have no friends (which I hate admitting) and struggle with things that most people generally takes for granted like saying ‘hello’ back to someone if they speak to me – even the people who live in my street. I do get out to do things like go shopping and to the cinema sometimes thanks to my mum and sister but I can’t go out alone at all and don’t want to always have to depend on them for everything. I just want to be able to go out alone and also meet people but I have no idea how since I find groups overwhelming and unless someone talks to me first I wouldn’t be able to speak to them (and even then I struggle). I just feel trapped and don’t know what to do anymore I guess.

[Oddity]

Helloo The last couple of years of school is when SA really hit me too.

[Tim.82]

Hi Charlotte, hope the forum helps

[Charlotte05]

Hello and thanks to both of you (: I think it seems to hit quite a few people around that time.

[Professor Willow]

Hi Charlotte

Welcome to the forum
Hope you find the place helpful.

[Mikei]

Hi Charlotte, and welcome to the forum

[Charlotte05]

Thank you.

[Silent Ninja]

Hello

[Charlotte05]

Hi (:

[purplerose]

Originally Posted by Charlotte05

I do get out to do things like go shopping and to the cinema sometimes thanks to my mum and sister but I can’t go out alone at all and don’t want to always have to depend on them for everything. I just want to be able to go out alone and also meet people but I have no idea how since I find groups overwhelming and unless someone talks to me first I wouldn’t be able to speak to them (and even then I struggle). I just feel trapped and don’t know what to do anymore I guess.

Hi welcome to the forum

I can totally relate to what you wrote, I manage to go out with my parents or sister but for years I never went out alone ! This year is the first time in years I have managed to leave the house alone but ive only done it a handful of times to local places and it's still extremely difficult for me.

Like you I also wont talk to people unless they speak to me first and I still struggle to make conversation.
Your definately not alone and I hope finding this forum can help you move forward and you find it useful.

[Laser]

Welcome to the forum

Hope you find some helpful advice here

[Utopia]

I have to say that it's good to still see new members joining given that we seem to lose many also.

I too have gone through periods without friends, and have never had that many. I found it hard to relate to people at college, and lost contact with some of the people from school as I didn't put enough effort in with them. I used to find it so difficult to connect with people, and used to have SA as bad as this also, so I sympathise.

I still find people really difficult. I just cannot explain how much I hate bullying -- it's probably largely to blame for your low self esteem, but it's not your fault.

[ConverseCody]

Hi Charlotte! Welcome and hope you enjoy SAUK. The final year of school is when my SA got bad as well. This website is really good for support and often just talking on here gives you that feeling you get when you socialise (or at least in my opinion)

[Charlotte05]

Originally Posted by purplerose

Hi welcome to the forum

I can totally relate to what you wrote, I manage to go out with my parents or sister but for years I never went out alone ! This year is the first time in years I have managed to leave the house alone but ive only done it a handful of times to local places and it's still extremely difficult for me.

Like you I also wont talk to people unless they speak to me first and I still struggle to make conversation.
Your definately not alone and I hope finding this forum can help you move forward and you find it useful.

Thank you (:

I’m glad to hear you were able to go out alone a bit more recently then and hope it gets easier for you. At the moment the closest I really get to being out alone is looking in a different part of a shop to whoever I’m with or sometimes, although rarely, looking in a shop next door to the one they’re in.

I hope that it gets easier for you eventually. I find it so frustrating because sometimes I find myself really wanting to talk to someone but due to the anxiety just can’t.
Thanks again.

Originally Posted by jk90

I have to say that it's good to still see new members joining given that we seem to lose many also.

I too have gone through periods without friends, and have never had that many. I found it hard to relate to people at college, and lost contact with some of the people from school as I didn't put enough effort in with them. I used to find it so difficult to connect with people, and used to have SA as bad as this also, so I sympathise.

I still find people really difficult. I just cannot explain how much I hate bullying -- it's probably largely to blame for your low self esteem, but it's not your fault.

Thank you. I tried to go to college but stopped in the end, mostly because like you said I didn’t really feel like I could relate to people. I do really want to work on getting things to change but it’s just so hard to know where to begin anymore. I hope with more time you start to find people less difficult also.


Thank you to ‘Laser’ and ‘ConverseCody’ also. Hopefully I’ll get to talk on here a bit then (: And I hope this all posts okay, I’m not really used to using forums.

[Janine]

hi Charlotte I can totally relate to having a rough time during the last few years of school. I'm still trying to do my GCSEs - a year late.
Hope you enjoy your stay here, lots of people are dealing with the same stuff

[purplerose]

Originally Posted by Charlotte05

Thank you (:

I’m glad to hear you were able to go out alone a bit more recently then and hope it gets easier for you. At the moment the closest I really get to being out alone is looking in a different part of a shop to whoever I’m with or sometimes, although rarely, looking in a shop next door to the one they’re in.

I hope that it gets easier for you eventually. I find it so frustrating because sometimes I find myself really wanting to talk to someone but due to the anxiety just can’t.
Thanks again

Thanks I hope so too.
I was like that today ! I was in the supermarket with my mum and made myself go around on my own but it still makes me nervous and I can't relax even though I know my mum is around somewhere. I used to be glued to her side or whoever I was with.

[Charlotte05]

Originally Posted by Janine

hi Charlotte I can totally relate to having a rough time during the last few years of school. I'm still trying to do my GCSEs - a year late.
Hope you enjoy your stay here, lots of people are dealing with the same stuff

Hi It definitely seems like quite a few people struggled during their last few years at school so it's nice to know I'm not alone. Although obviously at the same time I do hate to think of other people going through similar things. Good luck with your GCSEs, I hope they go well and thank you.

Originally Posted by purplerose

Thanks I hope so too.
I was like that today ! I was in the supermarket with my mum and made myself go around on my own but it still makes me nervous and I can't relax even though I know my mum is around somewhere. I used to be glued to her side or whoever I was with.

Well done for managing to go around it on your own though; I find supermarkets one of the worst shops to be in because they're always so busy. Those and certain clothes shops due to the types of people in them. That's why I don't like going out with my dad much - he wanders. If I turn away for a second the chances are he'll see something and go off to look at it and I'm left wondering where he is and growing panicky.

Do you ever feel like people will think you're up to something bad when you're out? Because I tend to avoid eye contact and weave around people I always worry that someone will decide I look suspicious and think I'm shoplifting or something /:

[slinkydink]

Hello Charlotte Hope the forum is useful.

[Charlotte05]

Thank you.

[purplerose]

Originally Posted by Charlotte05

Well done for managing to go around it on your own though; I find supermarkets one of the worst shops to be in because they're always so busy. Those and certain clothes shops due to the types of people in them. That's why I don't like going out with my dad much - he wanders. If I turn away for a second the chances are he'll see something and go off to look at it and I'm left wondering where he is and growing panicky.

Do you ever feel like people will think you're up to something bad when you're out? Because I tend to avoid eye contact and weave around people I always worry that someone will decide I look suspicious and think I'm shoplifting or something /:

Thankyou I couldn't handle going around a supermarket on my own at the weekend as Ive seen how hectic they can be! I can just about handle it midweek when it's quiet-ish. Oh no I would hate it if who I was with just wandered off.

I ALWAYS feel as though the shop assistants or security guards think Im up to no good as I look awkward and sometimes don't buy anything.

[Charlotte05]

Originally Posted by purplerose

Thankyou I couldn't handle going around a supermarket on my own at the weekend as Ive seen how hectic they can be! I can just about handle it midweek when it's quiet-ish. Oh no I would hate it if who I was with just wandered off.

I ALWAYS feel as though the shop assistants or security guards think Im up to no good as I look awkward and sometimes don't buy anything.

Well done for managing it on your own still though. I went into Bath with my aunt today which kind of feels like progress as it was super busy although I was with her the whole time.

At least it's not just me then. It makes me so paranoid to think that way. Hopefully nobody ever does stop either of us though. I'm pretty sure being the centre of attention like that would be mortifying.

[purplerose]

That's great you still got out and about today, you should be pleased with yourself.

Yeah I know what you mean. Oh god if I ever did get stopped then I'm pretty sure I wouldn't go back to that shop ever again.

[Charlotte05]

Thanks. I just feel so isolated lately.

I doubt I would either so I really hope that never happens.

[purplerose]

it's strange how we don't want to mix with people but at the same time we don't want to be alone and feel isolated. It's a tough battle.

[Pink*Lady]

Welcome Charlotte05.

[Charlotte05]

I know. I feel like a total contradiction. Whenever I'm out I find myself thinking 'don't look at me, don't look at me/omg why are they looking at me' constantly then come home feeling awful because nobody's spoken to me /: Its ridiculous that I'm terrified of people speaking to me and yet want them to at the same time.

Thank you 'Pink*Lady'

[Deb356]

Hi Charlotte mine started at 16 years and I became increasingly paranoid about how people view me I am now ok initially but my confidence goes and I struggle to communicate my brain tells me I am boring or a rubbish person and no one will like me so I don't blame them. I try not to listen to the voices and force myself to do things. I also don't think I have friends but try not to notice that. It's a good you have your family it's great I get a lot of support too from them. I push people away as I feel I am going to get hurt. Well done you for doing your gcse's I find focusing on positives help me.

[Charlotte05]

Hey, thanks for answering me (: I***8217;m sorry to hear that but I can definitely relate to being paranoid about other people and how they view me. If I see somebody laughing I always feel as if it***8217;s aimed at me and I do have a tendency to feel as if I must be boring to others as well. I***8217;m not sure if I***8217;m quite as bad in that respect as I used to be however; I still worry about it but I used to constantly have to ask my mum for reassurance when I was out walking the dogs with her (there***8217;s always a lot of young people which makes me extra anxious) but I haven***8217;t noticed myself doing that half as much anymore.
Yeah I try not to dwell on it in general as it only makes me start to feel really low but its hard at times. I just want to be able to mix with people my own age and lately its really getting to me. You***8217;re right about it being good that I have my family to support me and I***8217;m glad that yours are there for you too. I do exactly the same thing and find it really hard to trust people in general. Thanks (: and yes that***8217;s good advice.

[Redribbon]

Hello Charlotte, hope this place helps you.

[Charlotte05]

Thank you, I hope it helps you too.