Being less inhibited in your speech

[BritishPeace]

Firstly, my pic is sideways I know.

Second, I have had social anxiety about speech for as long as I can remember. In a social situation with a group of people for instance people just gel and seem to flow with each other, bantering and all that and I wondered why I could not be the same way.

I have noticed that before I speak out loud to people I think over what I'm about to say before I say it so there is a delay before I speak in which the fast paced way of banter and jokes is lost and I just sound boring. I think 'is what I'm going to say stupid' or 'will people take it wrongly' etc. However, over the past few weeks I've been experimenting with a new way of interacting in conversation one-on-one or in groups instead of thinking and analysing what I'm going to say before it comes out my mouth therefore making me sound boring or having nothing to say because I've judged my conversation too freaction-provoking, when someone says something to me I say out loud whatever I'm thinking without hesitating. Since I've been doing this I've had more fun in my interactions and seem to be conversing with people more easily. I am still sometimes inhibited as anxiety takes over depending on the circumstance but i am working on just saying what I feel and being less in myself than before. Seems to be working and no one had taken a comment badly in fact some of what immediately comes to me is quite funny. If you have the same problem as me I'd advise you to try it out, I feel more human and less robotic.

[Marco]

Good advice. I think that overthinking before we speak, which can often cause us to stammer over our words or sound stilted or boring, is a major problem for most of us and inhibits us from engaging in conversation. If we just learn to do what most people do and let our thoughts flow out of our mouths uninhibited by doubts that we'll come across as foolish or cause offence or whatever, then I think we'd be surprised at how effective we'd be in conversation. Let's face it everyone on this forum is thoughtful and has lots of interesting opinions and insights, but many of us only seem to be able to share these anonymously on forums like this. It's sad and frustrating! You've got the right attitude though.