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#1
1st August 2010, 13:02
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Anyone feel not good enough for their partner?
I am always doubting why she wants to be with me, and then start thinking she must have a hidden motive.
just realised it's meant to be 'your' not their, sorry :P |
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#4
1st August 2010, 14:47
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Re: Anyone feel not good enough for their partner?
If I'm amongst other people I feel not good enough but when we're on our own I usually feel ok. The majority of it is caused by comparing myself to others and the feeling that others are judging me negatively. But I can rationalise it that if my partner didn't want to be with me he'd leave so he must think it's worth his while to stay with me because he likes me enough. Sometimes I can have the mindset that I don't really care either way but other times I feel insecure. I think the media has a lot to answer for with all the adverts showing perfect-looking couples. It's all artifice though - they are models selling an illusion.
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#5
1st August 2010, 15:47
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Re: Anyone feel not good enough for their partner?
My girlfriend keeps saying she isnt good enough for me and saying we should split up. It makes things stessfull. Shes been funny with me since wednesday when I met her last and wouldnt tell me what was wrong. It makes me constantly worried as I think shes good enough and tell her she is, but its not nice when someone who you want to be with keeps saying you could do better, im not sure what more I can say.
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#6
1st August 2010, 15:50
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Re: Anyone feel not good enough for their partner?
I struggle to find myself attractive to women, so generally think if I were to be in a relationship my partner will just make do with me until she finds someone "better".
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#7
1st August 2010, 17:02
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Re: Anyone feel not good enough for their partner?
Quote:
I know it must be really annoying for her... but sometimes I get into a low mood and then start thinking all negatively and feel no good for nothing, and start on at her how she should leave me cos I'm no good, or say she wouldn't be with me if circumstances were different, which probably makes her feel shit. |
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#8
1st August 2010, 18:09
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Re: Anyone feel not good enough for their partner?
I'm single but this sums up how I feel, there's just a sea of doubts.
There's a strong mutual attraction going on in my life with one or two guys but my attitude varies between: 1. Feeling an ache in my heart and longing to hold him, kiss him and do everything for him 2. Feeling like 'whats the point?', 'why bother?', 'I give up', 'don't get your hopes up, Nic'. 3. Thinking such negative thoughts and mentally beating myself up. This is what love is like with SA. Even though I know this guy genuinely does care for me because he asks how I am, he said something yesterday which I can't say cos I don't think people will believe me but no-one has ever said that to me before. I still think that if I went out with him it just wouldn't work and he'd be put through an emotional wringer and when we inevitably part I'd be in hysterics and he'd think 'thank GOD I got away from the crazy bitch' and the next girl he went out with would be more appreciated than any other girl in the world. |
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#9
2nd August 2010, 06:32
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Re: Anyone feel not good enough for their partner?
Quote:
i have very low self esteeme & always questioned why my wife was with me as she could do so much better, she was always attracting the attention of other men. after 15 yrs i had become so convinced that she would leave me sooner or later for a better guy that when i chance arose (a woman at work actually fancied me) i took it, i though ah at least i will have something to throw back at her now when she finds her better guy. unfortunatly i could not live with it on my mind hence i am now divorced, she was my soul mate & i ruined it. i have had a couple of relationships since but they could not live up to pam so i ended them, been single for 8 yrs now seperated from pam 12yrs & she is still all i think about, we still chat every now & again she is still single & i never realised but also has a very low self esteeme which is why she always found it hard to just ignore the other guys advances as they made her feel good. if only we had talked more & been more open about our mental health issues maybe just maybe we could have still been together but things like sa were not as open & talked about back then. |
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#10
2nd August 2010, 09:26
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Re: Anyone feel not good enough for their partner?
I used to think this when I was in a relationship. But my bf didn't help things by agreeing that I wasn't good enough for him.
I'm more confident now I'm not with him but I still know guys see me as being not good enough for them. At least, not good enough for a relationship. |
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#11
2nd August 2010, 09:46
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Re: Anyone feel not good enough for their partner?
Totally. She deserves someone who can give her (a) a sex life and (b) the sort of commitment someone of my age should be able to give. I can't give her either... not now, maybe not ever.
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#12
2nd August 2010, 17:25
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Re: Anyone feel not good enough for their partner?
Quote:
The types who think a person isn't good enough for them are invariably shallow and vain and deserve partners like themselves who incidentally will never make them happy as they aren't appreciative of the valuable human qualities in others, just the superficial stuff. If one person rejects you there will alway be another who thinks you're fine just as you are. The trick is to find them and take no notice of the rejecters - let them go off and be tediously 'perfect' somewhere else! |
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#13
3rd August 2010, 21:05
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Re: Anyone feel not good enough for their partner?
Quote:
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#14
3rd August 2010, 21:45
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Re: Anyone feel not good enough for their partner?
Quote:
does this mean you are believer of Cynics famous 99% theory? Cynic support for you is growing  
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