Is this site for me

[Nic debubble]

I dont know whether I suffer from Social Anxiety or not. Or is it just shyness?
I can feel lonely in a room full of people and tend to sit in a corner with my back to the wall. When people talk to me I dont shy away. My excuse is Im people watching. I dont have a problem talking to strangers or going into a place or venue alone. I do fear making a fool of myself. Things like Karaoke or talking public speaking are a complete no no. The thought of them makes me feel anxious and I think if I tried either Id pass out. Any form of conflict makes me shake.
I consider myself as intelligent and bright so I can hold a conversation about most things and my work puts me in this situation quite often.
I hide a bit behind my intelligence and humour.
I never ask for help for anything which is probably a typical bloke trait.
So even making doctors or dentist appointments makes me feel anxious.
My relationships break down due to the fact that partners think Im cold and dont respond to their feelings where in reality its the fear of shpwing emotion and rejection of these emmotions.
I have got worse as Ive got older and at first I thought it might be delayed grief from the loss of my parents but when I think back I was terrified of speaking up in class at school. One time I refused to read a poem I wrote and the teacher made the whole class stay back until I did.
To stop myself over thinking I will do number puzzles or computer scrabble as this takes my mind off of any issues.
I have trouble sleeping because anything thats happened during the day plays over in my mind. If Ive made a mistake at work, a bit of road rage Ive encountered or any other worries.
I was worried about posting a message on this site until I got started.
I feel like Im trying to make sure everyone around me is happy and beat myself up if theyre not.
Do this sound like symptoms of Social Anxiety.
Now the fear of sending this message.

[humphrey]

Hi Nic

Everybody's SA is different, but it does sound like you have some of the symptoms, but I'm no expert just a sufferer. People on this forum can have relationships etc., while others like me can never envisage ever getting that close to someone.

If you read the posts on here, you will find that SA takes many forms, some people cannot manage to leave the house, others work, everybody is different.

The main thing is to try and learn to live with your symptoms and to try and not let it ruin your life, easier said than done!

[Clementine]

Hi Welcome to the forum

It certainly sounds like a degree of social anxiety, yes. I hope that you can get something positive from this place

[gregarious_introvert]

Hi Nic and welcome to the forum; to address the title of your thread, only you can say whether this site is for you, but whether you suffer from social anxiety, general anxiety, shyness or an ingrowing toenail, you are welcome here. Please don't be anxious about whether or not you have anxiety!

As those who came before me in this thread have said, we all have different causes, are all affected differently and all have a different perspective on our issues; during the time I've been on this site, I've seen people with severe symptoms, mild issues, people in recovery, those who have just realised they may have an issue and even friends and relatives who are not sufferers themselves but want to understand and help others who are. Let's not forget that chronic shyness can be as debilitating as social anxiety; if you feel that something within you is preventing you from enjoying the social life you think you should have, then I hope you can benefit from being here.

[clyde33]

Welcome to the forum and i hope you find it will help. Social anxiety is different for each person who suffers from it. I'm not sure if there is a difference between being shy and being anxious. I think quieter kids are referred to as shy rather than anxious, i know i was always being told i was shy when i was little (back in the 70s where nobody really knew about social anxiety).

My anxiety has got worse as i've got older. I think i have general anxiety too as i stress about everything. I wake up several times during the night thinking about work, i replay bits of conversations that haven't gone well in my head when i'm in the shower, i'll check my bag a million times for my keys and wallet before i leave the house, i panic about having a car accident when i'm driving, i stress in case some random person tries to speak to me in the street and supermarkets make me feel uncomfortable when they're really busy. I frequently get brain fog which makes me very forgetful and i stare into space a lot getting nothing done.

Socially i have no desire to go out and mix with people anymore. I'm fine going out for a meal with my husband, but my biggest dread is being invited to a get-together where there will be lots of people i don't know. I fear them asking me things about myself and me coming across as being boring or stupid. I don't really have much to talk about anyway if it's not work-related and small talk is just something i cannot do. I get so anxious that i can't follow conversations anyway and i end up not understanding what's being spoken about, so drift off into my own world. When i do occasionally pluck up the courage to say something, nine times out of ten people don't hear me and i'm ignored. I count the minutes until i can go home.

So yes, i think SA comes in many different forms. One thing i've noticed personally with me is that if i keep myself really busy, it's not quite as bad. It's always there and never goes away, but i think having distractions and lots of things to do does help.

[Nic debubble]

Thank you for the welcome messages. I do understand that my anxiety is probably not as servere as others.
Just trying to find a way to remove this invisible barrier that restricts me.
I split up from my girlfiend about six months ago. She suffered from PTSD, depression and OCD. I thought the issues in the relationship was her illnesses but I now believe that my anxiety made it far worse not a good mix.
I joined two dating sites and have had a lot of response well over a hundred interested parties but when it comes to the meeting part I struggle to actually go out on a date. Even with all that interest I have had 2 dates which didnt go well and this makes my anxiety worse.
My biggest worry now being single is I dont even have that one person to rely on and the loneliness will add to the anxiety.

[les]

From what you have written you should fit in here just fine, Welcome to the forum

[Rianne]

Hi Nic As other***8217;s have said, we all experience social anxiety differently and from what you have said in your original post I would think this forum is right for you. I can relate to a lot of what you have said. Welcome aboard!!!