People stealing

[ßazzaOld]

Dont you get annoyed when people kinda get between you and somone your trying to interact with. Its like I spend ages trying to be friends with someone and then the next week or something someone else has kinda took them away. Someone louder.. Chavier.. Annoying.. Self obssessed.. Yet they get along with them alot better than me. Im just.. more cautious but its not like im uninteresting. I just aint as loud.. or annoying..

Then everything seems to go wrong with that person I was trying to talk to previously.. The more they interact with the chavier person the more distant they become with me. Its like they become the other person.. they become a chav themselves.

While on the otherhand! Those people I talk to who dont get 'picked out' by the louder peeps I become good friends. Given enough time I am able to open up and things go great. Its only those who.. for whatever reason.. Dont get harrassed by louder people I can get a 'chance' to befriend.

Ok.. You might say the people who turn into chavs are already chavs but this is not true! Given a situation where no loud people exist then I can be friends with them. Same situation but insert a self obsessed person then I dont get a 'chance' at being friends with them.. They get swept away by the other person.

It often the conclusion they seem to turn againts me slightly because they become louder, because I am quieter I start to be seen as different. Ok I admit I might be slightly paranoid there but.. I think you know what I mean! I become that 'odd' person who you barely talk to.. Probably because im quieter due to being anxious. I am confident and loud with those I know but not with new people.. So I first come across as quiet.

I find it rather annoying.. I think I got alot more to offer than some of the peoples who seem very focused on their own lives yet are able to make friends so easilly.. =/ ...Eh except when I talk to them I only get the impression.. 'god this person is boring, they only talk about themselves'.. Yet they make friends with others so easilly.. I dont get it tbh.. They mostly ignore me.. and steal other people I get an interest in lol.. :rolleyes:

Edit: I want to soften the fact I made these 'self obsessed' people sound alot worse than they are. Alot of them.. do only talk about themselves in my opinion but they arnt loud in a excessive or rude way etc. Just.. They talk about things that are boring imo. They often ignore me or look through me /unless/ they got something to say about themselves, brag etc. I personally cant stand people like this.. Many people make friends with them though. I dont get it.. I dont care.. I like who I am. I just get annoyed sometimes they make friends so easy while I struggle to feel comfortable. Many people do like me for who I am and dont struggle to be friends with me.. They dont find it difficult to talk to me and vice versa. Infact, given the right people, I am usually the center of attention. Not that I enjoy that fact lol.. but im quite unique and try my best to live.

[likeme]

Hey Bazza
I experience something like this is a slightly different way I think. If people would just give me time they'd find I could be as fun as they and their friends are. But they have to let me get to a place where I feel comfortable to do that. Unfortunately they seem to go on first impressions instead.
As for people-stealing, it sucks. Some people can just become immediate friends and the ones who take a while to get to know become overlooked There's this girl I feel I could learn so much from, she has so much good stuff to say, but she isn't interested in getting to know me more, she has her friends and they are the ones she can get on with immediately. Which leaves me stranded in a sense. I just hate it when people 'close themselves off' to others, although I suppose it has to happen as we can't all be friends with everyone. But it kinda hurts. I want to say.."Wait!!! you don't know anything about me yet, all the things I've said so far are crap, let me try again!!"
When we finish uni I will probably never see her again
Oh what a desperado this post will make me seem.
I hate injustice.
Some people don't understand, they find it so easy to say 'come round to mine for a cuppa' or 'fancy a drink'. While I struggle to initiate any form of social engagement for fear of rejection. Anyway that's off the point a bit. But basically I know what you mean Bazza. It's not fair.

[ßazzaOld]

I just need that chance, the time to get to know someone. As soon as a noiser person comes along and sweeps them away I dont get many chances at talking to them again. The noisy person just doesnt shutup and they end up talking eachover all the time. Spending the day around eachover.. Slowly.. The new person just kinda forgets about me..

To make it clear there are also 'noisy' people who are completely cool and nice. They allow you chances to fit in and actively invite you. I have no problems with noisy people its just the ones who obsessed with themselves and push others out that I dislike. Usually because they sense your bored to death by their conversations.

Yes im quite loud and forcefull myself so I can and will get a word in if I wish to but.. It seems too late in most cases. The person actively changes.. They seem less interested in me OR they get completely the wrong impression. Usually helped by someone who knows nothing about me.

I think they begin getting the wrong impression because they get so well with the loud person.. They see I dont talk to them much due to being completely bored by them.

A bit of jealousy here but they even got their phone number and stuff lol.. ""come round to mine for a cuppa' or 'fancy a drink'."" Exactly! Except it was a phone number.. Eh.. I donno how they do it lol. Its takes me months to do something like that.

They understand me at all tbh.

Iv met someone else who has the exact same opion as me about certain people and how boring, self obsessed they are.. I donno why they make friends so easy. I suppose I might also seem boring at first but I am a hell alot more interested in others than just myself.

[shybeary78]

I can kinda see what u mean, about boring self centred and self obsessed people being able to get friends so easily when they are so unattentive and selfish to others.

Is it cos they have the guts to say stuff like like lets go out, or what r u up to for lunch as they have no fear of rejection?

I feel quite hurt as I make effort to talk to people and show an interest but when they find new friends that are bitchy and unfriendly and then dont make u feel welcome later, seems a bit unfair. I guess they arent worth knowing if they like the loud me me me types. xx

[Undecided]

This happened to me a few times when I was in high school. People that I was friends with would be quick to drop me when someone 'better' came along and spend all their time with them. What made it worse was that when they got bored of this other person they would try and start hanging around with me again as if nothing had happened. Looking back, a lot of people that I called a friend when I was at school treated me badly. They would use me or put me down in front of the popular people to try and fit in. They obviously weren't worth knowing.

Also, I can relate to the whole taking a while to become friends with people thing. It seems like other people click instantly and are pratically joined at the hip a couple of weeks after meeting. Whereas, with my best friend from uni I only asked for her mobile number after knowing her for six months and we didn't meet up outside of uni for another six months after that.

[ClayPigeon]

Yeah I had a 'friend' that was totally like that at high school, really loud chatty talked about herself alot, butted into my conversations like i wasnt even talking, everyone I knew she had to make her friend too and be better friends with them than I was. Anywho, she also became friends with my sisters and all their mates, shes like the ultimate friend stealer. i remember she got mad becos her friend started going out with her other friend and she accused her friend of being a friend stealer even tho she stole that friend she was accusing, off my sister. The irony is complicatedly explained but it is in there somewhere :P It really bugs me most of all that she is still better friends with the people that used to be my friends. Loud people are annoying, I think I turn invisible when I am around them.

[indiegirl1980]

I can relate. When I was on my uni course, I actually made friends with a guy, but my housemate wanted him all to herself and wanted a relationship with him. Why I do not know, as she had two boyfriends already and would get off with anything male that she met in a club. (She had a pretty warped attitude to relationships). Anyway, she would always butt in, lead my friend away when we were talking together and so on.
At least we had three months together as friends as she went home to research and write her MA dissertation and we stayed at college.
The ending of this story is that, the last time I saw her, she was walking around Brighton all loved up with yet another bloke, and I thought 'Why did you want my X as well?'
That was 6 years ago and I still feel bitter.