Talking about Mental Health issues

[Custard_cream]

Do you hide your mental health issues, if so why?

I have Social Anxiety and Depression, the only people who know are my parents, manager, grandparents and sister.

I keep both SA and depression hidden from others. My Doctor suggested I mention it to others, as I will need support once therapy finishes.

I'm not sure why I can't talk to others about these issues...embarrassment, feeling shame, the stigma behind mental illness, I just don't know.

Is it really better to keep it hidden or have people found it OK to talk about it?

[Indigo_]

I kept it a great big secret from everyone for years, particularly my family, as I felt they would disbelieve me. I finally told my sister and my mum this year and they have both been very understanding and didn't disbelieve me at all. They are the only people who know though and I plan on keeping it that way.

No good would come from telling people at work and I'd be very wary of disclosing any mental health issues in the profession I work in anyway. My sister has anxiety herself which my mum has always supported her with. I think my work colleagues just wouldn't understand to be honest and would view me differently, which I don't want.

[Custard_cream]

I only told my parents about the SA and depression about 5 months after diagnosis, my mum told my grandparents (as I recently found out) and I told my sister in April when I felt like killing myself although a lot of good that did because she turned round and told me she was too busy to see me . I suspect my parents knew about the depression because they have been telling me to go to the doctors for years.

I have days where I just hate having to be around people, see no point to anything, no motivation, people annoy me, noise and people irritate me, I just feel like staying in bed and crying, I am in a crap mood and don't make any effort to talk to people or even look at anyone - I just wonder whether it would be better if I mention the depression so people know I am not being a complete bitch or whether I should just hope they will just forget it.

[Indigo_]

I think it's brave to open up to people and to discuss matters such as mental health issues so a credit to you CC for telling your parents and your sister (I'm sorry your sister's reaction wasn't one of support though).

I think it is better to tell people if you feel able to. My sister suspected I had SA anyway so it didn't come as a total surprise to her but I at least have several family members who I can now confide in, explain how I'm feeling and who usually leave me feeling as if I've been listened to.

[Custard_cream]

^ It's good that you can confide in family members DG, well done.

Part of me wants to tell people, just so that they know that I will have "off days" - I have more good days at the moment than bad days with being on medication, but I still get bad days, I suppose like anyone, I just don't know whether it would be a helpful thing or not to tell people why I am acting so dis-interested, annoyed etc. I work in an office and have done for the last ten years, I still worry though that even my manager who knows about my depression won't realise why I won't even talk or look at her some days. It's just hard, because I end up feeling guilty about being like this around people.

[Indigo_]

I could be wrong here, and please do correct me if I am wrong. I sometimes feel like other people have a better understanding of depression than they do SA. I think SA remains a bit of a mystery to most people. I'd like to point out that I don't suffer from depression though so I could be talking out of my backside here.

If you begin to tell people at work about your depression it may help to alleviate some of the anxiety that you feel around how people are perceiving you when you're having an 'off day'.

[RyanD]

people know i'm socially awkward and have ocd but i don't go into detail about it. Most ppl have a basic understanding about mental health issues, i feel lucky to be alive in this age.

[tryinghard]

I used to hide it more, with me just because I didn't want people in my business, and I expected them to brush me off anyway. Nowadays, I tell people how I'm feeling a bit more, but most of the time I don't bother because I just think - well what can they do about it?

Having said all of that, I agree with your doctor. The point is not telling people you have depression, the point is telling other people how you feel. When you tell other people how you feel, they are given the opportunity to give a shit about how you feel, and when you see other people give a shit about how you feel it increases your self worth.

[humphrey]

Only my immediate family know about my depression, but I have never told them about SA. My sister is understanding, and my mum worries about me. Nobody at work knows about my mental illness, not even my manager. I wouldn't like to tell them about it.

[Indigo_]

Originally Posted by tryinghard

The point is not telling people you have depression, the point is telling other people how you feel. When you tell other people how you feel, they are given the opportunity to give a shit about how you feel, and when you see other people give a shit about how you feel it increases your self worth.

Brilliant point to make.

[Unnecessarily Long Username_1]

If someone asks, I'll tell, but I find, more often than not, that talking about it just raises more questions. The sort of questions that are usually accompanied by a cynical, faux-quizzical facial expression. A lot of people are naturally incurious, so they're more interested in countering your answers with their own, rather than actually listening. As you speak, you might even notice their lips poised, waiting for an opportunity to interject with a "but". They might think they're 'helping' in some weird way, but they're not. I'd prefer if they went away and did some reading and then came back with their questions, armed with a small amount of contextual knowledge. Anything would be better than trying to diminish very real problems, just because they aren't interested in understanding them.

A lack of curiosity is one of the worst qualities a human being can possess. And it's not limited to the uneducated either. Far from it. Some of the very worst culprits I've met have been medical professionals. Especially middle-aged male ones.

[purplerose]

Yes I hide it from everyone Except you guys on this forum ! My parents obviously know because they would always take me to any appointments I had regarding my mental health but I have never spoken about it to my closest friend or relatives.

I can't communicate with them as it is just about normal things so couldn't possibly pluck up he courage to talk about all my problems plus I am always worried people won't understand and will treat me differently etc

[firemonkey]

My family/step family are well aware I have mental health issues. As for other people- I don't know other people to tell. If I did know other people it would very much depend on how they came over to me, and whether I knew they had a family history of mental illness and were more likely to be understanding.