Being dumped

[Stucky]

Well here I am again back at square 1 after another 2 years.

I have been dumped over the phone.

Why oh why does this always seem to happen. There must be something seriously wrong with me. What is the actual point in carrying on Itl only keep happening.

My life sucks and hasnt progressed for years. My anxiety is now sky high and I have no mates at all after everything.

Sorry for the rant im just devestated

[Tom123]

Dumped on the phone after a 2year relationship?

The cowardice of some people is really pretty despicable. There is nothing you can do at this point. You're going to feel crap for a long time but you will get it. Hope you get through this part quickly.

[Mina]

Ending a relationship over the phone is a clear sign of emotional immaturity, how could this person not realise it would hurt you twice as much to end it that way?

You don't need someone like this in your life. At least now you are free to get with someone who will love and respect you.

Don't waste time thinking about your ex, enjoy being single until you meet someone who is really right for you.

I was dumped over the phone after a 2 year relationship too, as my ex decided suddenly that he wanted to get married... but not to me.

At the time I cried and was really upset, but I stayed single for a while until I met my lovely bf, who I've now been with 5 years.

I am glad it ended with my ex as I realise now what an immature loser he was to end it that way, he never liked me as me (used to tell me what clothes to wear, called me embarrassing - nice stuff like that) and I needed to meet a nice guy and realise that's now how relationships are supposed to be.

[Jono629]

Your situation sounds very similar to mine, so I can completely sympathise. I got dumped over text though back in August after a long-term relationship and it's taken me a while to get to the point when I can finally now move on.

Do you have any family you can talk to? For me, I was fortunate that I had someone to talk to and could release my emotions to.

In the short-term your mind will be racing, so doing small things to keep busy really help, even if it's just doing the ironing or washing up, cook a meal etc. Small things to keep you going and progressing. I would feel terrible when going to bed, so I would read until I got tired and didn't have to think about her any more before going to sleep. I found the first month to be the hardest.

I know it doesn't seem like it now, but things *do* get better, and I've had the exact same thoughts that you mention. I've found my experience has forced me out my comfort zone a bit too, so I'm trying a night class and doing more exercise as a result, so I can definitely take some positives from it.

Not sure if my advice is helpful to you at all but if you need someone to talk to then feel free to message me. Keep your chin up mate.

[misska]

i never even got told i was dumped by a ex of mine one day he just stop replying to me and ignored me, I had no idea what i had done. its worse not knowing why rather than just saying it outright, also he did say the its not u its me line.
After 5 years of ignoring me he contacted me saying he wanted me back and loved me think hes crazy no way am though

[The Chosen One]

Originally Posted by k-ann

i never even got told i was dumped by a ex of mine one day he just stop replying to me and ignored me, I had no idea what i had done. its worse not knowing why rather than just saying it outright, also he did say the its not u its me line.
After 5 years of ignoring me he contacted me saying he wanted me back and loved me think hes crazy no way am though

Did he reveal in the end why he did it?

[misska]

Originally Posted by The Chosen One

Did he reveal in the end why he did it?

no he still dosnt tell me I ask and he ignores the question my family thought he was married cos its weird but he was ex army think he couldn't settle etc.

[Lenore86]

Had one bf who dumped me online and another that broke up with me by just stopping talking to me!
I never got a reason why behind it and at the time I was so upset by it. But I realised that if they could do that to me it was best not to be with someone like that.
I know the pain your going through and I hope talking about it helps towards lessening the pain and shock

[The Chosen One]

I have been dumped by text once before.

Its becoming a lot more common. A bride to be was dumped by text 2 weeks before her wedding: http://www.basingstokegazette.co.uk/...s_a_new_start/

According to the Daily Mail, 1 in 10 of us have been dumped by text including Jennifer Anniston: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...y-reveals.html

Its so harsh and it shows the dumper is a true coward. I think it deserves at least a phone call or face to face meeting. Even if you are seeing or dating someone for a while, and then one person decides not to go further, I dont think text is acceptable.

[toobusycrashing]

i was dumped on the phone. he made lots of noises about coming to see me to talk about it face to face but weve only emailed each other. alot. still are a bit. its hard.
we were together 18 months and lived together for most of it, so its pretty nasty for it to have been over in a 15 minute phone chat

[FunkyMonkey]

Awh for every1

I've never been in a relationship so cant relate :p but I couldn't handle a break up and Im a clingy person with friends so would probably be rly clingy with a partner. Which would probably be too much for them to handle.
I'd never dump someone tho. Well maybe if they cheated.. I'd prob forgive them tho cus id be scared to lose them - Im prob better off staying alone :p

[Matt_1983]

My ex broke up with me face to face after 4.5 years together, most of which we'd lived together. It wasnt a nasty break up, and we promised eachother we'd always at least be friends. For about 6 months we stayed friends and it helped me a lot overcoming her dumping me. During this time she even got a new boyfriend, which wasnt very nice but i dealt with it and i never said anything to her in a negative way about him or anything like that.

Then one day when everything to me seemed fine and that the friendship was working out well and she was happy with her new guy, she just cut me from her life. Stopped replying to texts and answering my calls and emails. She never gave me an explanation. That was in late 2008 and to be honest it still effects me now. To just be ignored like that by the person who id been most close to in life, my first love and best friend, it was so painful.

I often think if shed just sat me down and explained she couldnt be friends anymore, then i would have been able to move on much quicker than i have. Its horrible to be sort of left hanging like that, to not know her reasons and to have unanswered questions. The fact that she was always such a lovely person and we never really argued made it harder, because i just couldnt get my head around how she could do that to me.

Ive never hated her for it though or blamed her. I try and see it from her point of view, because she must have had good reasons for what she did. She probably thought what she was doing was best for both of us in the long term. I dont think she was right about that, but she wasnt to know that.

[AxelFendersson]

I broke up with my ex via text message, although neither of us dumped the other; we broke up by mutual consent.

When things were on the rocks, I'd wanted to have a talk in person to discuss where we stood. So I went around to her house, but somehow somehow neither of us had the courage to raise the issue and we just spent the whole evening talking about nothing much, feeling awkward and trying to ignore the elephant in the room. For me at least, that was one of the things that finally convinced me that it was over. So in the end we had the discussion via SMS. At least that way we were able to say what we needed to and establish that we were no longer a couple.

I'm not convinced by this idea that breaking up should always be face-to-face. As with so many things, it isn't that simple. Being dumped is shit however it's done; the fact someone is telling you to your face that they don't want to see you any more isn't miraculously easy to take in a way that someone telling you over the phone isn't. Sometimes that separation is what people need to be able to say what they need to.

Since the only break-up I've had was amicable and by mutual consent (which was quite painful enough for me), I can only really imagine what you're going through. Best of luck picking yourself up again.

[helzy]

This is the problem with modern communication, it's become the norm for people to deliver the most intimate of information via digital means, rather than face to face! I wouldn't be super pleased if anything like that happened to me, but it makes you stronger person not to get irate about this. I don't agree with every previous response: I believe such an intimate agreement to enter into a relationship should be treated with the same intimacy on the way out. If you're going to shatter someone's world, at least have the decency to do it in a climate in which you are both expressing a common interest in decency and respect, and do it in a face-to-face situation. It's the only way to reach a conclusion, in my belief. If you want closure, you need to experience the body language and tone that comes with such situations!

Unfortunately our generation has become focused, very heavily, on technology. Nothing beats a face-to-face conversation to make you realise how fragile life is.

[helzy]

Trust the Americans! It's not even a shock that they would find some way to profit from some people's misery.