The world revolving around Facebook?

dave81uk · #1 24th June 2018, 12:15

I know we shouldn't use Facebook to gauge how popular or liked we are but sadly I think we are in a time where everyone does.

I hear people at work on about how many friends they have on Facebook or the number of likes they get for a post.

I've been on Facebook for 6-7 years, I think I have about 30-40 friends, the vast majority are people from sites like this or groups, people I have worked with in the past, no real friends. If I'm lucky I get 1 friend request per year. There was a lot of fake profiles going around recently adding people, everyone seemed to get tortured, even they avoid me. The average person seems to get a friend request every other week.

A guy I work with went to a wedding recently, came back with 7-8 new Facebook friends, I asked how did you do that? They just added me he replied, I asked did you know them before the wedding? No he said. That's how easily normal folk make friends.

I would ditch Facebook altogether as its not really designed for people like me with no friends hence why I prefer Twitter or even Instagram, you can follow whoever you want without them having to accept anything. Sadly a lot of shops and restaurants only use Facebook these days so can't ditch it.

Anyone else struggle with this?

Tom Morello · #2 24th June 2018, 12:29

On average I would say about 5% of a person's facebook friend list are real friends or connections. I have about 90, would have about 150 if I didn't delete a load of people and I'm only in regular contact with about 5 of them. The numbers aren't important, they're just for ego stroking. In my opinion social media has caused more harm than good to society and I'd say the less time you spend using it the better.

Toxic · #3 24th June 2018, 13:28

I thought facebook was just for people posting photos of their lunch on

It seems a small amount of people use it for keeping in touch with friends/family....then everyone else just seems to be willy waving or complaining about something

I wasn't aware facebook was such a big deal anymore..no one at my workplace mentions it...isnt counting """"friends""" something you do in school!

GoldFish · #4 24th June 2018, 14:42

It really comes down to your own experience..

If you have really sociable brothers and sisters, then they might be encouraging enough to get you signed up, or chatty friends at university, or at work who managed to encourage it, then I can see why people do it..

whereas if you live a more isolated existence, then I can see why people aren't bothered by it, just see it as another website.

all comes down to whatever your environment is like in a complex realm of experiences that a lot of people have...

what puts me off is that it's just too popular, and I don't think any product in any market should be so popular that everyone has to feel they should have it, and hence, my inner rebel is why i deleted it years ago. If everyone ate from the same restaurant, does that mean you should?!

Also, a lot of people add you, people you've just met, people you don't really want to be bothered with, and if you don't add them, then you're a snob, etc..

it's way easier to just not be bothered with it, it tends to create a cult behavioural side of people, that contradicts individual opinion, which often occurs in groups of people.

but again, all depends on your own experiences and your own family/friendship experience, which is complex and differs for everyone.\

hats off to those who enjoy it i guess!

kirbycrackle · #5 24th June 2018, 17:28

My advice is ditch it. It's there just to make you feel inferior when you look at it realistically. We built entire civilisations without it, so who needs to know what some misfit down the road is up to?

As for shops why do you need Facebook? Just go
To the shop?

gregarious_introvert · #6 24th June 2018, 17:44

I do have a Facebook account, but it is completely blank (other than my name) and nobody can add me as a friend; it exists purely for me to administer Facebook groups which are related to my meetup groups and to access certain information which is only available on Facebook (some festivals, local events and other things are only advertised on Facebook these days).

I have no living relatives and no friends who aren't on meetup or SAUK, so have no need to use social media for keeping in touch with people.

sensitivesoul · #7 24th June 2018, 20:22

Despite being SA, I actually enjoy facebook as I feel it can help narrow the gap over myself being a social outsider and the insider groups of people as we can meet people here (or elsewhere) online and do an add and interact sometimes just like any person who meets someone in every day social means.

sillypenguin · #8 24th June 2018, 23:44

A lot of the time I log out of the Facebook app and just keep Facebook messenger running. If Facebook messenger didn't exist then I probably wouldn't use Facebook at all. I think it works better for businesses trying to market themselves more than individuals trying to market themselves by only posting how they want to be seen.

waine · #9 25th June 2018, 00:41

Facebook I use for memes only (depression indicator for sure apparently)

Emmapixie · #10 25th June 2018, 18:06

I go on it daily but i don't know why anymore, think its more a habit now than anything else because for years I've had it

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Messer · #11 25th June 2018, 19:38

^ me too, weird/private describes me perfectly.

I use Facebook to look at stuff, I've no posts or friends of my own. But that's OK.

anewyear · #12 25th June 2018, 20:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emmapixie

I go on it daily but i don't know why anymore, think its more a habit now than anything else because for years I've had it

I was very much in that habit and it did more harm than good. I dropped off it for a good 6 months and initially was much happier for that. However recently (last few days) I've started going onto it every now and then. That seems to be the "sweet spot" for me.

I would definitely say don't use the app on your phone. Go into it through a browser and then close the window afterwards. Having it too easy to reach isn't good in my opinion.

anxiouslondoner · #13 25th June 2018, 20:50

I do use Facebook, but I just tried downloading all the data they have on me and... there's barely anything in it! Either I've done a great job at stopping them from tracking me or I'm clearly the world's least interesting person. I depressingly suspect the latter is true...

Tembo · #14 25th June 2018, 22:24

I don't like Facebook. Ideally i'd like to get rid of it, mostly because it feels so fake but also I think Facebook is a really creepy company.

But If I did get rid of it, it would further limit my potential for socialising. I've become 'Facebook friends' with a few people from Meetup.com events, and I occasionally get invited to events outside of Meetup on there. There was a week when I 'deactivated' my Facebook, and typically someone tried to invite me to something but as I had deactivated, I wasn't invited and therefore missed out on it.
I also have started talking to distant relatives through Facebook.

It can be a great way of keeping in touch with people, and can help you become better friends with people. I do like seeing the great things people are doing, but it can get a bit too much seeing it sometimes, particularly if I am in a bad mood (i.e. most of the time). A 5 minute scan through the news feed shows all these happy smiley people who have got into a relationship, getting married, getting a new house, having large social gatherings - it can get quite depressing. It feels so fake too - I know full well that all these happy smiley people have down times too, so Facebook just seems a place for everyone to show off (which I tend to do!). I do like to see some of the good things people are doing though, but a lot of it feels rather fake (maybe that makes me sound jealous?). Also, the personalities of people on Facebook can be completely different to what they are like in real life, thats what I find anyway.

I know of some people who have completely deactivated Facebook. But they are usually (the people I know anyway) very popular people who have lots of close friends anyway, so wouldn't lose out so much by deleting Facebook.

Therefore, I am well into the Facebook trap, which is just what the creepy company wants.

indiegirl1980 · #15 30th June 2018, 13:05

I didn't think it was as popular as it once was, I think that the kids are more into WhatsApp and Snapchat. Facebook is where your mum, your nana and your auntie post.
I'm going to have one of my weekly breaks from it this week, just to see how many times it beeps at me as though Mark Zuckerberg really cares that I'm looking at it or not!

Vienna · #16 1st July 2018, 07:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emmapixie

I go on it daily but i don't know why anymore, think its more a habit now than anything else because for years I've had it

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Same here.
Although I do like some of the groups I'm in , joined the town's discussion group , don't post much in it but I'm too nosey and like to hear what's going on.

Yes the friends list really isn't FRIENDS , they should really name it ' contacts' .

anewyear · #17 1st July 2018, 22:30

I see the pitfalls in Facebook but, maybe a silly question, in what way are snapchat, insta etc any better?

sillypenguin · #18 1st July 2018, 22:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by indiegirl1980

I didn't think it was as popular as it once was, I think that the kids are more into WhatsApp and Snapchat. Facebook is where your mum, your nana and your auntie post.
I'm going to have one of my weekly breaks from it this week, just to see how many times it beeps at me as though Mark Zuckerberg really cares that I'm looking at it or not!

I logged out of mine for around 2 weeks and it was getting ridiculous the notifications I was receiving to get me back on. One actually kept popping up saying 'a friend has posted something' just 'a friend' not someone's actual name. Honestly, someone posted something on Facebook! Wow who knew!!

Aimz · #19 2nd July 2018, 13:43

It's funny because I deleted my fb back before Christmas.
Then for some reason, I created a new one a few weeks back. I think it was partly because of the old "fomo" (fear of missing out) and partly as a test to see if anyone actually noticed I was back (or had gone on the first place!). I kept it up for only a day and absolutely no one sent me a friend request, with the exception of one person who I didn't even know. I added like 2 people who I genuinely like and I think the 1 request was a mutual friend of theirs. This made me remember why I got rid! I did have insta too....then deleted....then reopened for the same reason....same exact result. So I don't know if ppl were butthurt over my initial deletion etc....but then I realised I just don't give a damn any more. It's honestly worth nothing and is so fake and materialistic. It also just makes your anxiety worse and you wonder why you aren't getting requests, and why some people you know have other people on their list but havent friended you etc....its just a complete headache! I know that I am better off without. But that's just what's healthier for me right now!