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  #61  
Old 19th January 2011, 00:38
diplodocus diplodocus is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

^ guess I've just been lucky so far..... I prefer more relaxed dates maybe? As I say it's never been a problem for me but I do feel like an uncivilized brute all of a sudden
  #62  
Old 19th January 2011, 00:41
Mr Ploppy Mr Ploppy is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

It's a bit extreme to turn your phone off during a date. Anyone who demands that strikes me as more than a little insecure and an attention freak.
  #63  
Old 19th January 2011, 00:47
catlover catlover is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by diplodocus
^ guess I've just been lucky so far..... I prefer more relaxed dates maybe? As I say it's never been a problem for me but I do feel like an uncivilized brute all of a sudden
No worries; it's not a big deal, just a preference I have.

When a conversation is really flowing, I hate to have it interrupted by a phone call that could just as easily be handled a few hours later. Heck, sometimes I turn off my phone when I'm alone, watching a good television show!!

Maybe it's because my brain isn't good at multi-tasking?
  #64  
Old 19th January 2011, 00:52
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

if i was ever in that position id probably put my phone on silent, i would think it would be rude to get into fiddling on my phone while im meant to be getting to know someone...

but then ive been on 1 date in my entire life and that was fairly expensive..and crap

...and then no one remotely important would call me anyway probably just a friend texting me and asking if id screwed it up yet

dunno..thats just me, id find it a little rude if i was trying my best to talk to a girl and she starts texting..id presume she would be texting her friends saying this dates shit
now im starting to think my concept of a date is wrong! good thing im not going on any..theres more to this than i thought!
  #65  
Old 19th January 2011, 02:49
Yorkie Yorkie is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phool
TBH I like the nice clean smell of soap on a guy but most guys seem to where aftershave so thats why I put 'mild'.
I use soap
  #66  
Old 19th January 2011, 02:53
Yorkie Yorkie is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dory
Only because the OP asked about women's expectations. You could start a new thread stating the bloke's point of view
I'm actually quite curious. I bet I can guess them. lol.
  #67  
Old 19th January 2011, 07:48
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by diplodocus
Holy shit Dory! I wouldn't get into long texts and would avoid it unless really necessary but if a woman had this expectation from the outset I'd say bye bye, we just wouldn't be suitable. Just sounds a bit draconian to me :confused
Really? Switching your phone off during a date would be too much to ask of you?! Ahhh well, I cannot handle being with people (male or female) that cannot be separated from their mobile phones for an hour or two I mean....seriously?! So I guess there's going to be no date with diplodocus for me ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Venom
id find it a little rude if i was trying my best to talk to a girl and she starts texting..
Exactly!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yorkie
  #68  
Old 19th January 2011, 07:51
diplodocus diplodocus is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragnet
It's a bit extreme to turn your phone off during a date. Anyone who demands that strikes me as more than a little insecure and an attention freak.
I wasn't going to say that exactly but I definitely prefer more easy going types

Quote:
Originally Posted by Venom
...and then no one remotely important would call me anyway probably just a friend texting me and asking if id screwed it up yet

dunno..thats just me, id find it a little rude if i was trying my best to talk to a girl and she starts texting..id presume she would be texting her friends saying this dates shit
now im starting to think my concept of a date is wrong! good thing im not going on any..theres more to this than i thought!
Well as I said already I certainly wouldn't do that! But in the rare circumstance I had to, I'd explain to the person I was with why I have to make that text. Same with calls I'd glance at it and if it didn't look important then I'd ignore it. If it's something unusual like my mum called at 11 at night then I'd politely explain that I need to return it. If my date got all uppity about it then I think what an uptight so and so. I like people who are easy going and flexible, so in a way it's a good compatibility test. At least you'd find out if you're suitable for each other early on! In fact I may do that from now on if I'm on a date just to see how they react
  #69  
Old 19th January 2011, 08:05
Phool Phool is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by diplodocus
Holy shit Dory! I wouldn't get into long texts and would avoid it unless really necessary but if a woman had this expectation from the outset I'd say bye bye, we just wouldn't be suitable. Just sounds a bit draconian to me
Really didn't think it was that common! I've never turned my phone off or onto silent on a date. Maybe I've just been lucky and I've dodged a bullet all this time
Quote:
Originally Posted by diplodocus
^ guess I've just been lucky so far..... I prefer more relaxed dates maybe? As I say it's never been a problem for me but I do feel like an uncivilized brute all of a sudden
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragnet
It's a bit extreme to turn your phone off during a date. Anyone who demands that strikes me as more than a little insecure and an attention freak.
Its polite and courteous that if you have invited someone out you give them your full attention. Actually that applies to friends as well as dates.

Quote:
Originally Posted by catlover
I have to say that in my view, unless one is an on-call medical doctor, one ought to be able to turn off the mobile and give one's undivided attention to the person sitting across the table.
This. If a man can't give me his undivided attention for a couple of hours on a first date when he is supposed to be trying to get to know me then he isn't going to do that in the rest of the relationship.
  #70  
Old 19th January 2011, 08:07
Sea Sea is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

^ Exactly Phool

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragnet
It's a bit extreme to turn your phone off during a date. Anyone who demands that strikes me as more than a little insecure and an attention freak.
It's just good old-fashioned manners in my opinion, something many men (and women) seem to lack. Same as turning off your phone at the cinema. If people can't survive a couple of hours without their phones, Id say it was them that are insecure.
But its clear we all have different expectations.
  #71  
Old 19th January 2011, 08:14
Phool Phool is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by diplodocus
I wasn't going to say that exactly but I definitely prefer more easy going types

Well as I said already I certainly wouldn't do that! But in the rare circumstance I had to, I'd explain to the person I was with why I have to make that text. Same with calls I'd glance at it and if it didn't look important then I'd ignore it. If it's something unusual like my mum called at 11 at night then I'd politely explain that I need to return it. If my date got all uppity about it then I think what an uptight so and so. I like people who are easy going and flexible, so in a way it's a good compatibility test. At least you'd find out if you're suitable for each other early on! In fact I may do that from now on if I'm on a date just to see how they react
Emergencies are fine e.g. If a loved one has been ill. But yes it is a compatibility test. I prefer a degree of formality to dating in the begining. Old fashioned things like holding a door open etc. But then I think we covered this in the 'older women' thread. I am an old fashioned romantic and modern dating practices don't appeal to me much.

*goes off to book that saga cruise*
  #72  
Old 19th January 2011, 08:20
Phool Phool is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dory
It's just good old-fashioned manners in my opinion, something many men (and women) seem to lack. Same as turning off your phone at the cinema. If people can't survive a couple of hours without their phones, Id say it was them that are insecure.
Well said.
  #73  
Old 19th January 2011, 08:46
Sea Sea is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by NRG.89
I hold the door for everybody, you cant just let it swing back on someones face, can you?
It's amazing how many people do though...
  #74  
Old 19th January 2011, 09:20
marki marki is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

I think a fair compromise re mobile phones is to put it on silent and check it (for important stuff only) at opportune moments like visits to the little boys/girls room.

Like Diplodocus said if my mum phoned at eleven at night that would be so out of the ordinary that i would want to know whats up asap and i think thats fair and reasonable.

Anyway.... whats a date?
  #75  
Old 19th January 2011, 11:40
diplodocus diplodocus is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dory
It's just good old-fashioned manners in my opinion, something many men (and women) seem to lack. Same as turning off your phone at the cinema. If people can't survive a couple of hours without their phones, Id say it was them that are insecure.
But its clear we all have different expectations.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dory
Also if some bloke invited me on a date I would expect to have his attention. I.e. phone switched off, no texting, no emailing, no phoning. No chatting to friends he sees at the bar (beyond pleasantries). This would not amuse me.
Of course I could survive without my phone for a few hours, I go to the cinema and manage fine lol That's not the point.

It's the demanding tone of your post that gets me. I'm sorry but if a woman that I don't really know, that I am going on a first date with to see if I even like her started out like this then I just wouldn't want to get to know her. If she's going to get that het up about my phone going off it's only going to get worse! Talking on the phone about work or something else unimportant I can understand. As you say everyones expectations are different but for me a date should be fun and enjoyable.

And I'm fine with holding doors open, pleases and thank you's. I'd even throw myself in front of a moving vehicle and shield you with my body, but I wouldn't bother if you got all grumpy about my phone going off
  #76  
Old 19th January 2011, 11:42
diplodocus diplodocus is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phool
That's what I said in my original post on silent/vibrate and in pocket. That way if someone call's with an emergency you are able to respond.
You said silent.... And you've still got to get the phone out and check it. Dory might think I was texting and throw a glass of water over me.
  #77  
Old 19th January 2011, 11:48
Defiance Defiance is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

dory & diplo, don't ever go on a date together :P
  #78  
Old 19th January 2011, 11:49
Phool Phool is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

^ "As you say everyones expectations are different but for me a date should be fun and enjoyable."

Yes everyone's expectations are different. For me a date or even an outing with a friend stops becoming fun and enjoyable when the phone comes out. For me it's modern manners like eating with your mouth open or dribbling or picking your nose - it's just not done.

From a Guardian article on modern manners:
"I turn to the more recent Debrett's New Guide to Etiquette and Modern Manners, which furnishes a 'rather elegant' solution to the problem: 'leave [the mobile] switched on at the reception desk of a restaurant or with the head waiter'. I imagine myself being called away from a billowing soufflé only to be offered life insurance...

...The answer is clear. Unless you're expecting a birth or a death imminently, the only acceptable thing to do is to switch the bloody thing off and stick it in the cloakroom."
  #79  
Old 19th January 2011, 11:50
catlover catlover is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Venom
if i was ever in that position id probably put my phone on silent, i would think it would be rude to get into fiddling on my phone while im meant to be getting to know someone...

but then ive been on 1 date in my entire life and that was fairly expensive..and crap

...and then no one remotely important would call me anyway probably just a friend texting me and asking if id screwed it up yet

dunno..thats just me, id find it a little rude if i was trying my best to talk to a girl and she starts texting..id presume she would be texting her friends saying this dates shit
now im starting to think my concept of a date is wrong! good thing im not going on any..theres more to this than i thought!
Indeed.

I'm dealing with a low-probability two-level hypothetical case here: 1) that I would actually have a date, and 2) that someone would actually have a need or desire to call me. Both rather unlikely.
  #80  
Old 19th January 2011, 12:03
Phool Phool is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

From Debretts' Guide to Modern Etiquette.

http://www.debretts.com/etiquette/ro...etiquette.aspx

For romantic succcess, follow our tip dating tips...
  • The inviter is responsible for taking care of organising the arrangements.
  • Punctuality is important; being up to 15 minutes late should not be a problem, but more than half an hour late may look rude unless you have a genuine excuse.
  • Make a confident entrance and think about your greeting in advance. A social kiss will be expected.
  • Only offer compliments when you believe them, and don't over-compliment -it will make the other person feel uncomfortable.
  • Conversation should centre on safe topics such as work, hobbies and family. Make sure you each have equal opportunity to speak.
  • Switch your mobile phone off or onto silent and do not answer calls or send text messages. Never put phones/PDAs on the table. Your date should never feel second-best to your technology.
  • Remember, you are on show. Your body language and deportment will all play an important part.
  • Eye contact is crucial, and watch your facial expressions. Keep flirting fun and light.
  • Paying the bill is the responsibility of the inviter, at least on the first occasion. As things progress it is fine to take turns settling the bill.
  • Dating is the perfect time for some chivalrous gestures. It is polite for him to ensure that his companion gets home safely. It may be convenient to share a taxi, in which case the woman should be dropped off first, unless this is impractical. If not taking a taxi, a man should accompany a woman to her bus stop/front door/tube station.
  • If you do have another commitment to go to afterwards tell your date at the beginning of the evening so they are not left wondering why you are dashing off.
  • Follow up with a text or email that evening or the next day.

I have been lucky in that all the dates I went on last year met the above checklist and having just read it I think that it is a good checklist for men who want to date me.
  #81  
Old 19th January 2011, 12:18
Kevin Hodge Kevin Hodge is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phool
  • Switch your mobile phone off or onto silent and do not answer calls or send text messages. Never put phones/PDAs on the table. Your date should never feel second-best to your technology.
I have been lucky in that all the dates I went on last year met the above checklist and having just read it I think that it is a good checklist for men who want to date me.
i wish to make an addition -

Never leave dating checklists on the table in full view. Your date should never feel second-best to a piece of paper.



  #82  
Old 19th January 2011, 12:23
Phool Phool is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by seth brundle
i wish to make an addition -

Never leave dating checklists on the table in full view. Your date should never feel second-best to a piece of paper.


Agreed.
  #83  
Old 19th January 2011, 12:24
diplodocus diplodocus is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phool
From Debretts' Guide to Modern Etiquette.

http://www.debretts.com/etiquette/ro...etiquette.aspx

For romantic succcess, follow our tip dating tips...
  • The inviter is responsible for taking care of organising the arrangements.
  • Punctuality is important; being up to 15 minutes late should not be a problem, but more than half an hour late may look rude unless you have a genuine excuse.
  • Make a confident entrance and think about your greeting in advance. A social kiss will be expected.
  • Only offer compliments when you believe them, and don't over-compliment -it will make the other person feel uncomfortable.
  • Conversation should centre on safe topics such as work, hobbies and family. Make sure you each have equal opportunity to speak.
  • Switch your mobile phone off or onto silent and do not answer calls or send text messages. Never put phones/PDAs on the table. Your date should never feel second-best to your technology.
  • Remember, you are on show. Your body language and deportment will all play an important part.
  • Eye contact is crucial, and watch your facial expressions. Keep flirting fun and light.
  • Paying the bill is the responsibility of the inviter, at least on the first occasion. As things progress it is fine to take turns settling the bill.
  • Dating is the perfect time for some chivalrous gestures. It is polite for him to ensure that his companion gets home safely. It may be convenient to share a taxi, in which case the woman should be dropped off first, unless this is impractical. If not taking a taxi, a man should accompany a woman to her bus stop/front door/tube station.
  • If you do have another commitment to go to afterwards tell your date at the beginning of the evening so they are not left wondering why you are dashing off.
  • Follow up with a text or email that evening or the next day.

I have been lucky in that all the dates I went on last year met the above checklist and having just read it I think that it is a good checklist for men who want to date me.
I must admit when I saw the title 'From Debretts' Guide to Modern Etiquette' I spat my drink over my keyboard, BUT actually it wasn't too bad except that it comes off a bit 'stiff'. 'Watch your facial expressions' If that isn't enough to make you self-conscious I do know what is. I will continue to ignore the advice 'Do not take calls'
So elligible women take note!
And You can tell it's out of date though, as it didn't even mention giving the reach around. You can't consider yourself as having good ettiquette if you don't
  #84  
Old 19th January 2011, 12:50
pinkwafer pinkwafer is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

I have never been on a date and so I have no expectations.
  #85  
Old 19th January 2011, 12:52
karl-32 karl-32 is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by becky1789
I have never been on a date and so I have no expectations.
none at all? What if they sat flicking bogeys at you? Wouldnt you think "hmmm didnt expect that"? lol
  #86  
Old 19th January 2011, 13:02
Sea Sea is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by diplodocus
It's the demanding tone of your post that gets me. I'm sorry but if a woman that I don't really know, that I am going on a first date with to see if I even like her started out like this then I just wouldn't want to get to know her.
The OP asked what a woman's expectation of a date was, and I was replying about mine.
So you don't like it? Well that's ok because I don't much like your attitude of insisting on having it switched on. So its highly unlikely that we would date in the first place isn't it? lol. It takes all sorts, and surely the point of dating is to establish these things (both at the date and during the build up beforehand). We clearly have fairly opposite views on this issue and we both feel strongly about it, so we would not date. End of.

Quote:
Originally Posted by diplodocus
As you say everyones expectations are different but for me a date should be fun and enjoyable.
And for me a date should be respectful and private. I don't want to go on a date with your mates, and that includes the ones that phone you (edit: just to clarify, I mean my hypothetical date's mates here).
  #87  
Old 19th January 2011, 13:04
pinkwafer pinkwafer is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by karl-32
none at all? What if they sat flicking bogeys at you? Wouldnt you think "hmmm didnt expect that"? lol
No not 'dates', I did always think that was a thing posh people did, or Americans.


I think when we did go to the cinema etc, it was after we were a couple, so I don't think that counts, does it?



If someone started flicking bogeys at me? I think, you mucky pig, I'd not be impressed lol
  #88  
Old 19th January 2011, 13:11
karl-32 karl-32 is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dory
Ahhh well, I cannot handle being with people (male or female) that cannot be separated from their mobile phones for an hour or two
this annoys me in many circumstances , not just dates. i cant stand if your with a friend , partner and they HAVE to keep reading their texts , sending texts . i'm like , ok wait till you get home ffs!!!
  #89  
Old 19th January 2011, 13:12
karl-32 karl-32 is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by NRG.89
dammit, I thought bogey flicking was a brilliant move

..
i suppose it could be if they were really hungry . They might think you were being generous
  #90  
Old 19th January 2011, 13:13
Sea Sea is offline
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Default Re: What is a woman's expectation of a date?

Quote:
Originally Posted by karl-32
this annoys me in many circumstances , not just dates. i cant stand if your with a friend , partner and they HAVE to keep reading their texts , sending texts . i'm like , ok wait till you get home ffs!!!
Yeah, same.
Seems we are in the minority though
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