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  #1  
Old 3rd June 2018, 15:55
Spider22324 Spider22324 is offline
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Default Missed out on so much, but don't want to change (plus possible trigger)

I'm currently 27 years old, and as a result of whatever it is that is causing me to be different and distance myself from other people (not sure if it's SA or maybe even autism or Asperger's), I feel like I've missed out on so much while growing up.

There is something that may have triggered all of this, and it's something that happened during my childhood. I grew up in a bad neighbourhood. There was a family living on our street who had three sons. Their oldest son, who was 4 years older than me, was extremely nasty to me and often bullied me for no apparent reason, and he seemed to have the power to make the other kids on the street do the same. He even went as far as to lock me in his garage for a couple of minutes. Despite how traumatic all of this was, I can't be certain if it really did cause me to feel this way or not.

As stated in the first paragraph, I feel like I've missed out on so much while growing up, including things that most other people would have done.

I've never had a birthday party of my own. I've only been to two birthday parties, both of which happened when I was just 4 years old.

Outside of my cousin's wedding last year, and a school disco that I went to when I was 12, I've never been to any other kind of party, etc.

When I was 22, I went to the cinema with a friend FOR THE FIRST TIME. On all other occasions, I'd only been to the cinema with family or on my own. So far, I think that's the only time I've ever been out in the evening with a friend. I've never even been to a bar/pub with a friend.

I've never been to any kind of work night out with colleagues, etc. And whenever Christmas is approaching, I always refuse to go to the Christmas dinner at work.

I haven't had a friend over at my house since I was 17, and I haven't been out with a friend since I was 23.


I was also so very different from other people when growing up, including in terms of hobbies. Some of these aren't really related to SA and being introverted, but I just wanted to throw them in anyway.

When I was in the age range of 11 to 12, my favourite TV shows were Tom & Jerry, Looney Tunes and Snoopy, while everyone else's favourite shows were things like The Simpsons, South Park, Friends, etc. Admittedly, my parents didn't get Sky TV until I was 11.

I never went trick or treating on Halloween, although I think that's because I won't eat fruity sweets, and my mum is against trick or treating anyway.

I was 9 when I first went to a fast food restaurant (McDonald's, Burger King, etc) because my parents hated fast food at the time. I'm pretty sure everyone else in my school class had been to one before me. I remember asking some of my classmates if they'd been to McDonald's, and they said, "What do you think?!"


My only hobbies are playing video games, listening to music, playing bass guitar and watching YouTube. Although I feel a little saddened and a little annoyed for having missed out on so much, I'm perfectly happy with the way I am and I don't want to change.

My only concern is my long-distance girlfriend, who I've not met in person yet. Although she is also introverted, I think she is much less introverted than I am. I haven't yet told her about the things detailed in this thread, and I don't know how she'll react to it. Furthermore, she lives in a different continent, so they may perceive things like this differently to how it's perceived here. All I'll say is, good luck to me.
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  #2  
Old 3rd June 2018, 17:10
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Missed out on so much, but don't want to change (plus possible trigger)

To me I think the main thing is that you're happy and there's no reason to change how you are.

I'm not sure that your girlfriend would react badly to what you've said in your post, the main thing probably would be if she wanted to do things like go to the cinema or out for a meal whether you'd be happy to do that. You might be able to catch up on some of the things you feel you've missed out on with her.
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Old 3rd June 2018, 18:09
Tom Morello Tom Morello is offline
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Default Re: Missed out on so much, but don't want to change (plus possible trigger)

If you're happy then I wouldn't worry so much about those things. You may not have experienced as much as others but that isn't a problem unless you've missed out on things you really wished you could've done and would've enjoyed.
My own example would be that I missed out on all the drinking and clubbing most others were doing back in their late teens/early 20s but I look back and think I didn't miss much as I hate loud, crowded environments and the music. But I also missed out on seeing a lot of places because I was a recluse for years, so now I'm trying to change that.
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Old 4th June 2018, 22:56
waine waine is offline
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Default Re: Missed out on so much, but don't want to change (plus possible trigger)

This is interesting. I think as long as you enjoyed it. Me though I was out of it from breakdown age 8 somwasnt even able to function through school college university most of life BUT I still watched cycling and WWE so it wasn't all wasted. I know my French teacher even once said something about talking BUT unless you were born into this world like this you can't expect anyone to understand. I wouldn't and most importantly couldn't have been any different. When you don't have the voice you dont have it. NO REGRETS
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