Anyone else have a certain situation/activity where SA should affect you but doesn't?

SolitaryShell · #1 12th December 2009, 22:12

Because of my social anxiety, I have only ever gone to the pub twice with work mates in the whole 5 years I've worked there.

And even though I love club/dance music, I just couldn't actually go out clubbing.

It's also very rare that I make my feelings known to women who I fancy (hence me only ever having 1 fairly short relationship at college a few years ago.)

But what is strange is that I can join my band up on stage in front of around 100 people and play songs for half an hour!

Does anyone else have anything happen like this at all???

Obviously I do get very nervous before going on stage, but as soon as we start playing I start to enjoy it. I've even walked out into the crowd whilst playing the lead solo in a song before. I just don't get why this is the only situation where I feel confident.

carlsson · #2 13th December 2009, 01:32

yes i`m very confident in my job as i know almost all there is to know and act almost normal but when i`m out of work its all gone ans i feel vunerable again

teal · #3 13th December 2009, 08:55

Yes, put me on reception or in a job where I give out advice/information about something I know about, and you'd think I was really confident. But if I meet the same people outside that situation, I am a wreck.

It must really confuse people.

IRIS · #4 13th December 2009, 10:17

performing, dancing, singing, playing is not socialising though is it so maybe this is why it is easier because you do not have to think of how you are acting or what you are saying because it can all be rehearsed.

Everleigh · #5 13th December 2009, 10:39

im ok with talking on the phone which i kno affects a lot of SA people. i find cos i cant see the person im a lot more confident than if i had to look straight at them.

i also am OK talking with older adults as in 40+. for some reason SA is worst around ppl my age but adults i feel more comfortable. of course it depends on the situation but i do find it odd

Octavian de noir · #6 13th December 2009, 10:55

I have traveled around Asia and found that I was a totally different person.
Yet.... I find it difficult to feel comfortable in a busy pub.

pinkwafer · #7 13th December 2009, 11:10

lol no I'm very shy in everything I do...if I ever got pregnant and was in labour (urrgg what a sight) that would be interesting cos I think I'd be real quiet...I don't like making noises....especially moaning noises....

pinkwafer · #8 13th December 2009, 11:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by earthandocean

im ok with talking on the phone which i kno affects a lot of SA people. i find cos i cant see the person im a lot more confident than if i had to look straight at them.

i also am OK talking with older adults as in 40+. for some reason SA is worst around ppl my age but adults i feel more comfortable. of course it depends on the situation but i do find it odd

Yeah I prefer older people too, young people are scary!

Andrew · #9 13th December 2009, 14:02

If stage situations don't count (playing in a band excites me, but playing solo would be nerve-wracking), then I would have to say that job interviews have never really been a big problem for me - I had so much practice at them a few years ago and I rehearse my answers to questions I think they're likely to ask. There's definitely a technique to it...

SolitaryShell · #10 14th December 2009, 00:00

It appears to be quite a common aspect of SA from reading all of your comments and it seems to be evident in different areas of each person's life. It has answered some questions though, so thanks everyone.

When I am performing live on stage, I have been told (by my mum mainly) that I seem to be a completely different person. Yet as soon as I step off the stage I just manage to say a few nervous thankyou's to people who come over and comment on our performance and then I try and hide amongst people I know or pack my instruments and leave rather quickly.

Thanks everyone for replying, this is the first thread i've started (except my 'hello') since joining and didn't think many people would read and comment it.

Everleigh · #11 14th December 2009, 04:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by becky1789

Yeah I prefer older people too, young people are scary!

exactly! its funny this old lady started talking to me in shop the other day out of no where. just started talking about the fish on special and i could chat away quite easily. at the end she was like 'you have a merry christmas dear' it was cute

but if there was a young person chatting to me id freeze up, in fact i probably would not even stand near them in the first place :rolleyes:

Everleigh · #12 14th December 2009, 04:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by nirelandguy

I am exactly the same, I can talk on the phone to someone like we where best friends yet I may never know them, Have even managed to flirt with some advisors

Something I could never do in real life.

good on you

a few times ages ago at work i talked to some young guys over the phone and thought 'u sound hot' lol

i could talk with them quite easily over the phone but truth is tho if they ever physically came into our office i would hide and avoid them. stupid SA.

Everleigh · #13 14th December 2009, 10:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by abc2

I feel anxious in any situation that involves other people. Obviously in some of these situations I feel less anxious than I do in others but it is still there. I can honestly say that there is not a single situation that involves other people that I am comfortable with. I can tolerate them, but I am far from comfortable.

Am I alone here? I really can't relate to the rest of this thread.

no im sure ur not the only one. just think how many users use this forum and not everyone has replied so im sure ur not the only one. if its any consolation i hav many other mental probs apart from sa.

Chris P · #14 14th December 2009, 13:36

Holding a conversation is a situation where SA is most potent, I just start mumbling on and eventually just draw a complete blank with nothing more to add. Yet when I'm arguing about something it's the complete opposite, I can argue until the cows come home. Weird really.

teal · #15 14th December 2009, 13:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by abc2

I feel anxious in any situation that involves other people. Obviously in some of these situations I feel less anxious than I do in others but it is still there. I can honestly say that there is not a single situation that involves other people that I am comfortable with. I can tolerate them, but I am far from comfortable.

Am I alone here? I really can't relate to the rest of this thread.

No, I'm never comfortable, only when I am on my own. There's always a feeling like, I don't know how to describe it....someone using a Brillo pad on the inside of my head maybe, when I'm with other people. But in my 'comfort zone' I can do it and you wouldn't be able to tell, whereas otherwise I can't.

Funny, talking to hubby about this yesterday. He says he has only just got to a point in his life where he feels comfortable in his own company. I have no idea how on earth we ever got together. I absolutely have to have hours completely alone every day or I get very, very irritable. Sometimes, even being with the dogs makes me feel socially anxious! Hubby says he has always hated being alone.

Ruby1 · #16 14th December 2009, 13:43

I'm a strange bugger me! I go up my kids school and i am such a lonely billy no mates, i feel like everyone knows to steer clear of me *boshes sa on it's noggin* I don't have any friends, social life in general...

BUT when i am where noone has seen me before and most likely won't ever see me again i can be completely at ease, not only at ease i can be quite extrovert and enjoy acting the ninny, ie wearing daft hats in shops, being the bubbliest one in restaurants....Meeting strangers whilst out shopping with me mum i often have people start chatting with me. This is how i know it's all to do with my poor body language up school.

Anyways i have applied for a new game show Ant and Dec are doing in the Spring, fingers crossed i'll get on there, i figure most of my life feels surreal anyways i can cope quite well in surreal situatons, far better than normal routine.