In need of support

[Reader]

I have lived with depression and anxiety for the last 6 years. I seem to do well at making positive steps for ages and then I seem to take steps backwards. It then takes me ages to recover progress. I'm on a bit of a downer at the moment. Has anyone else experienced the same pattern and have you found anything specific that works for you that you are willing to share?

[teal]

I don't know - there are lots of things I do, but maybe they only seem to work because by the time I'm able to do them, I'm getting better anyway.

When I'm really bad I concentrate on very basic things like trying to make myself eat enough calories each day so I don't lose weight and just sort of sit it out and try not to be too hard on myself about all the things I'm not doing.

Take care of yourself.

[Fritzz]

Yes, I had a similar kinda problem, especially when it came to motivation after having a step backwards.
I found diet and exercise helped my motivation in general.

[chrissy coleman]

Hi Reader,
I really feel for you, I do this all the time too. I have social phobia, depression & borderline personality disorder. I try to make positive changes,like I'll start a healthy eating plan then fail once again. I quit smoking, then go back on them. I tried to take a spanish course, but had to leave within 1 hour as my anxiety in the class got so bad I thought I was going to start crying infront of everyone. Ive realised I have a serious inability to see anything through from start to finish, this leaves me feeling like Ive achieved absolutely nothing in my life- i mean I try so hard, I buy so many health/self help books, make a plan, write it all down, feel really positive that im going to achieve it-and then I just never do. It really makes me feel like a complete failure, I feel like nobody would want to know me as I have nothing to show for myself.

[chrissy coleman]

Hi Lilly,
Thanks for the encouragement! No, I dont really get support when i try to do things- i could attend weekly stop smoking meetings, but due to the sa i cant sit in the group setting- I did try afew times but i nearly cracked up, so i stopped going.
As for the healthy eating/weightloss plan- my god, i just fail each time.
I honestly do f**k up everything I attempt, when I look back on my life I see its been one long list of failures- schooling, college, jobs, friendships/relationships, being a mum- i just cant do anything right, its the truth.x

[Reader]

Thanks Matt24seven and teal for your support and thanks chrissycoleman for sharing your experiences with me. It's sometimes really hard to follow through and then when I don't it makes me feel even worse. I guess it then becomes a cycle I can't break out of.

[peterjohn]

I have in the past many times summarised my life as a disaster for all the reasons you have stated but that is the past and not the future I would wish for. So how have I transformed my life ? By a combination of doing the right things....my Yoga practise lifts my mood and gives me a calmness so that I don't need alcohol or comfort eating, my faith reaches incredible depths, I have a very good diet. I have learn't so much and been given so much encouragement by you very wonderful saukers, I have dramatically changed the way I think......I have a determination to go onward and upwards.......with all my heart and soul I pray for your well-being and my very next task will be to pray for you.
God Bless
Peter

[[MiffyKoala]]

yep.. definatly.. i made quite a bit ofgood progress a earlier in the year and have pretty much sunk back down again now my mum commented on how she thinks ive got worse again... doesnt really help me feel great about it to be honest but i know its a very slow process to recovery. so i guess we gota keep at it..im also on a downer at the mo.

[Reader]

Thansk for sharing and the encouragement. I'm in a self doubt and beat myself up mood at the moment. When i feel like that its hard to be positive.

[teal]

I was very tired when I first answered you on this thread, and in a 'what difference will it make what I say' mood So here is what I thought about writing but couldn't find the energy to work out how to express it:

I think doing my blog on here is making a difference. I don't expect anyone to read it, but because it is 'public', I tend to think very carefully about whether what I am writing is really how I feel, or if I am just throwing my toys out the pram so it is probably more accurate than a diary would be.

It is very easy when I feel good to minimise the importance of how bad I can feel, and when I feel bad to forget that there is ever any possibility of feeling good again. The blog records both states of mind and makes it more likely that when I have the energy I will remember to keep on doing the stuff that will make me less likely to get badly depressed in the future. I think I'm saying that it provides perspective. I'm also using it as a record of things that come up in therapy and generally for a place to put stuff that otherwise would go round in my head, or clutter up the forums.

And there is the bonus of the wonderful supportive comments that people leave.

[Reader]

I'm not very Computer literate. How do I use a blog?

[teal]

Try this:

Look up at the blue bar at the top of this page. On the left, just above the New Thread button it says 'Blogs' click on that and select the 'Your Blog' option and then your blog comes up. To type in it I think you need to look to the left of this screen, under your user name details and select 'post to your blog'

I'm not very sure myself about how the comments and other bits work, and sorry if these directions aren't quite right. But have fun exploring

[Reader]

Thanks for the lesson. I will have a go today.

[teal]

I've posted a comment under your blog, so you can see how it works.

[Reader]

Thanks Teal for the response to my blog. I am starting to get the hang of it.