Feeling lost

Kosness · #1 13th February 2010, 14:20

Does anyone here feel totally lost in life? Recently I have seriously started to feel this way and can see no happy future for me and have no idea how to improve things.

I am now 32 and if anything feel my sa is getting worse. I have never been in a relationship with anyone, this hurts so much, I have only properly had feelings for one guy who recently started texting me and I honestly thought he liked me, now out of the blue he has just stopped texting, no explanation why (hence spending the last two days crying) I just don't understand how relationships happen for everyone around me but never too me.

I have now found myself without any single friends left, in a job I have been in for the last ten years, unable to go for promotion as my sa is too crippling. I hate feeling so lonely, I have had enough of being on my own and would love to have a boyfriend for once.

Any advice on even little steps to improve my situation would be really appreciated.

jc1 · #2 13th February 2010, 16:49

I know the feeling all too well. I have no direction, no friendship with anyone and no partner. It does seem to get harder as you get older but I am determined not to let it beat me.
I am sorry the guy stopped texting you, us men can be complete bastards to members of the opposite sex. So don’t blame yourself.

The only advice I can give is to take things a step at a time, maybe strike up some simple conversations with someone you like and not see them as a potential boyfriend but as a friend. This might take some pressure out of the situation.

jc1

1Dayatatime · #3 16th February 2010, 20:51

I am in a very similar situation, I am 44 and have never had a relationship, I have no friends outside work and for most of my life have been a virtual prisoner in my own home. I also thought someone liked me then exactly twenty eight days ago she stopped emailing so I suppose that is the end of that.

I know only too well what I am about to say is a lot easier said than done and at first I was absolutely terrified but on an impusle I started night classes. Not with the intention of meeting anyone but just to get away from the boredom of staring at my four walls.

I now think I may have one friend. It will never be more than a friendship but that doesn't matter it is an enormous step for me.

I won't for a second pretend it was easy and the first day I had to stop myself running out of the room. But it does get better.

I hope you are feeling better and I wish you well.

Mr. Nobody · #4 17th February 2010, 15:15

I was thinking tha same as Masked Girl, perhaps SA meets in Scotland are a place to consider finding a wee network of like-minded people, though there haven't been many of late, there was an SA Scotland site, and when that was on the go there was a few meets on the go, and I'm sure there are a few female members that went to them. I too feel as you do, I am totally alone apart from family members, I have a job, ( been the same one for about 9 years now ) and I too couldn't handle the chance of promotion when it came, and I have now crept back into my own little work space, which isn't too challenging socially ( gasp )
I am feeling pretty lost just now socially speaking, but I have started going to concerts etc. which are a good way to slowly ease into going out, and slightly interracting with people, comedy nights can be good also,as they are a bit more laid back that actual concerts, have also started going to the swimming baths ( a big deal for me ) ( normal for most folks ) but not sure what my next step is,...
It is really hard trying to socialise when you have SA, I feel as we are often alone,( more or less ) when a chance for romance comes along, and someone takes an interest in you, that this becomes so important, and we tend to make it a really big deal because it's the first chink of light / love wev'e seen in some time, and this leads to a kind of angst / fear, at least I know this is true of me.
wherabouts in Scotland are you ? perhaps there is an SA member close you could perhaps e-mail or phone, there must be a few Scots woman who post on this forum.
for what it's worth, I know there must be quite a few of us in exactly the same boat, and to be honest, if it wasn't for my family I wouldn't have a social life at all.

jona5678 · #5 17th February 2010, 15:18

Hi your still very young and i,m sure you will eventually find love, is there any clubs locally you could join and make new friends, also have you asked your doctor for help with your SA?

Kosness · #6 18th February 2010, 20:22

Thanks for all the replies everyone, nice to know I am not totally alone.

I am feeling slightly better about the guy, if I am honest, if he had actually asked me out it would have terrified me and I probably would have said no anyway.

I have made an arrangement to go out with an old friend nxt Sat night, she's married with kids but at least its a small step I guess.