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#1
25th August 2018, 10:39
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Negative thinking.
Thinking negatively all the time. Spending too much time overanalysing and second guessing situations and people's intentions. Constant flashbacks from bullying. Repeatedly the victim and unable to change this pathetic behaviour. Convinced that everyone hates me and expecting to be treated badly by other people. Bad attitude at times. Mood swings. Feeling so low and exhausted.
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#2
25th August 2018, 16:29
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Re: Negative thinking.
^ I wish I had something positive to say Pink*Lady, but I could have written every word of that myself today.
Realistically, I know that there’s absolutely no way that everyone could hate you (or even me) and that it’s definitely our negative thoughts getting the upper hand, but I know how incredibly hard it is to shake off those horrible thoughts and feelings  I suspect, like many people here, because of your low self esteem issues you are projecting your hatred for yourself onto the thoughts of others. Maybe it’s simply (ha ha) a case of accepting that not everyone will like us and that we won’t like everyone and that the majority of people are pretty indifferent and totally wrapped up in their own lives, and that only our opinion and the opinions of the people we love matter. Sorry I can’t say anything very helpful Pink Lady. All I know is that I definitely don’t hate you and think you come across as a very nice person in your posts. 
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#3
26th August 2018, 00:09
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Re: Negative thinking.
The original post is a good example of what can happen, sadly, to some people when we fall into the trap of believing in the traditional story (which we're all conditioned by from birth) that we're just a separate, individual body/mind/person, living in a 'real/physical world' - created by a random 'big bang' and the product of evolution - existing in time and space, with a past/history, a present and a future. In other words, "The story of me." [And that's nobody's fault btw - it happens quite naturally.]
The good news is however, that we don't have to remain within that conditioned reality - that there is a way out - if we want it badly enough (which, surprisingly perhaps, might not necessarily be the case.) Because the strange truth is, that life is continually re-creating itself, moment by moment. In a way, it's like the 'big bang' (that we were taught about by science) is actually happening in each of those very moments; every time we have a new thought, feeling or perception, for example, a brand new universe begins. In other words, there is the possibility that our current sense of 'what is' (including our sense of 'who and what we are') - which is largely perpetuated through the function of memory - can at some point fall away, so that we're no longer a slave of the past, to leave a completely new and fresh reality in place of the old one. We suddenly, seemingly almost miraculously, see life in a totally different way. And here's the spooky part [which most people can't possibly believe]: this has nothing whatsoever to do with our minds! In fact it's the mind itself that falls away, to leave that which lies beyond it - which is simply life itself, but no longer being filtered through the veil of conditioned thought. So I'm just saying that there is hope for all of us... even if all other help methods seem to fail. 
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#4
27th August 2018, 15:42
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Re: Negative thinking.
Quote:
Of course, like most things in life, it isn't that simple: negative thinking is incredibly hard to shake and even if we manage to do that, there is no guarantee that it won't return; in addition, even if we do manage to lose the shackles of our past, there is no guarantee that our attempt to create a more positive future will be successful - I know that I've made several attempts throughout my adult life with varying degrees of success (or, more accurately for the majority of them, failure). There's also the strong likelihood that we might make some progress in the short term and then encounter something which sets us back, further reinforcing the negativity. There are no easy answers, but if we can convince ourselves that we are worthy of better and then become persistent in our pursuit of it, change can happen.
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#5
27th August 2018, 16:37
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Re: Negative thinking.
^I agree, it does start with being "comfortable in our own skin", as the expression goes; sadly, I don't have any answers as to how that might be achieved, as it's something I've always had: although I was never confident in my interaction with others and that became reinforced by the negative reactions I encountered since childhood, I've always felt within myself that I was a good and worthy person who had a lot to offer the world.
I do realise that many of us who use this forum do not have the advantages I have had in that respect, that the negative reactions have reinforced within them a negative self-view; I think one approach may be the one mentioned above by HermannHesse, to try to replace negative thoughts with positive ones (basically, to employ CBT, although it has never worked for me). What I will say is that I see many posts on this forum from people who express low self-esteem, but who show themselves to be witty, compassionate and intelligent individuals who are much better equipped than they believe to participate in the social arena; whatever it is which inhibits them certainly isn't a lack of ability to communicate effectively, especially when compared to many who inhabit the social arena with less inhibition.
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#6
29th August 2018, 21:18
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Re: Negative thinking.
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