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  #361  
Old 13th April 2018, 16:36
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Well a month of not hating my face and my hair came and went

Having a bad case of the ugly bug ball today.
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  #362  
Old 17th May 2018, 22:04
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Generally feeling crud about my face at the moment. And silly thoughts about my eyebrows have come back!

Also... Does anyone else's perception of what the look like constantly change?

I look different in every photo, mirror. It confuses me when people recognise me from a long time ago because I think how can I look so different to myself, but so the same to someone else?

Not sure how to type that without sounding nuts!
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  #363  
Old 18th May 2018, 15:58
limey123 limey123 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

In my case, no. It doesn't change. The way I look remains depressingly the same.
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  #364  
Old 18th May 2018, 23:03
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

It also applies to my body as well. It always looks different when I look in the mirror. I started taking photos, which I'm going to delete because I can feel myself starting to obsess over it.
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  #365  
Old 19th May 2018, 21:58
Tom Morello Tom Morello is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I hate it when others take photos of me, it's like my ears and nose become bigger and my squinty left eye becomes even more noticeable. I record myself regularly (I know) to convince myself I look ok and generally it works, but when I see those odd photos it knocks my confidence.
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  #366  
Old 12th June 2018, 23:52
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

There's TV programme on the BBC 1 about BDD right now!

Ugly Me: My Life with Body Dysmorphia

I'm off to bed though

It's on iplayer if anyone wants to see it: here
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  #367  
Old 16th June 2018, 20:20
Dimplesxo Dimplesxo is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I made the mistake of watching Ugly Me- My life with body dysmorphia. Wow, It's really triggered me. I could relate so much.
Part of me kept thinking yeah but I'm actually ugly and there's no help for that.
I don't think I'll ever be able to improve the way I see myself.
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  #368  
Old 16th June 2018, 20:24
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ I still haven't been able to bring myself to watch it :/

Hope you're okay, Dimps. You're really lovely and have so much to offer
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  #369  
Old 16th June 2018, 23:52
Dimplesxo Dimplesxo is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Thanks Biscuits, that's really kind of you
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  #370  
Old 19th June 2018, 21:01
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

[edit: the person I’m responding to deleted their post]

^ Well, the thing is that everyone has different tastes so I don't think there is a universal 'ugly'. Whether someone is ugly or gorgeous isn't really what BDD is about though.

It's more about the negative affects (and impact) that being preoccupied by your appearance has on your life. It can vary from it stopping you from wanting to leave the house to making you feel like you're undesirable and there's no point in even trying to form relationships. Sometimes it's little things e.g. not knowing what to wear because everything looks wrong, feeling like you look odd, obsessing over how odd part of you looks.

Quote:
The DSM-5 diagnostic criteria for BDD require the following: Appearance preoccupations: The individual must be preoccupied with one or more nonexistent or slight defects or flaws in their physical appearance.
There are probably people who don't think they're gorgeous, but it doesn't really impact their life because they know they have a lot to offer as a person, can form positive relationships and the self-esteem isn't affected by their appearance etc.

Does this make sense?

I feel like you might have been trying to be funny and I've given a serious response haha
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  #371  
Old 19th June 2018, 21:49
Dimplesxo Dimplesxo is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

That view was spoken about on the programme. To recognise you may have BDD is to admit to yourself that you're seeing things/there's something psychological going on.
I always tell myself maybe I'm just ugly and can't deal with that, that people are lying to me etc.

Great post Biscuits.
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  #372  
Old 18th July 2018, 01:05
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

all of a sudden it’s the norm to comment on people’s weight and body shape - whether it be positive or negative. People keep telling me that I’ve lost weight and am looking slim. That would be okay if I were trying to lose weight, but the reason is because sometimes I feel worried and stressed and my appetite goes. Also it makes me wonder was I fat before and didn’t notice?

Then in Tesco a lady offered me and my Mum some passion fruit Malibu. My Mum said, “You can’t have any.” The lady looked at me and said, “Ah, yes...pregnant!”

My Mum said that she needs her eyes testing. My Mum’s not one for lying to be nice; she would have told me if she agreed with her haha.

So now I’m all confused. I don’t even want to think about things like this, especially because I was getting to a point where I wasn’t really thinking about my appearance and now it’s sent me back to thinking bad things. Arrrrg... what happened to idle chit chat about the weather?
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  #373  
Old 18th July 2018, 21:41
Appear Appear is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ I don't reckon that comment from the lady in Tesco was about your weight. If you hear a woman can't drink, the first guess is always pregnancy - regardless of one's rotundity.

It's interesting that you think it's become more acceptable to comment on people's weight more generally. I wonder if the NHS's increasing emphasis on weight management as a means to prevent illness and save it money has made weight more of a prominent public concern?

One thing I've always found quite interesting in my extended family is that most of the women readily comment on the weight of men in the family, but will very rarely comment each other's. I'm frequently told I'm 'too' skinny, and my dad's weight (and general appearance) is often playfully mocked. I know it's never meant in a mean way, but I often wonder how they would react if we were to turn the tables. Not favourably, I don't think. (I'm not saying this is a reflection of stuff generally - just how it seems to be in my family.)
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  #374  
Old 18th July 2018, 22:27
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Ah, it was definitely about my shape because when she said sorry she also said to me that she has a dress that does that to her too. Keep diggin' that hole, love. Keep diggin'. haha

I'm not cross at the lady for thinking I'm pregnant though because that was kind of funny and there are worse things to be called. What I meant is that I'm getting mixed messages and all of these messages are making my get confused and self-conscious, especially about what I should wear. Then it sets off my negative thoughts about my face etc.
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  #375  
Old 19th July 2018, 20:37
choirgirl choirgirl is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I think it's normal to think you look all right on some days and like a troll on others. To other people you probably look the same.
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  #376  
Old 16th August 2018, 23:01
Dimplesxo Dimplesxo is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I’m obsessing over nose jobs.... again. I can spend hours researching surgeries. I’m feeling particularly monstrous today.
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  #377  
Old 23rd August 2018, 22:30
Merritt Merritt is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Does anyone ever feel like they want to make themselves uglier to reinforce their belief that they are ugly? Like how you can exist in a place where you're convinced you're hideous, but other people try to put a positive spin on your appearance, and you almost wish you were ugly in a clearly obvious, objective way so they could really see what you see?
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  #378  
Old 29th August 2018, 22:16
Deadbeatunderadustymoon Deadbeatunderadustymoon is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by Merritt
Does anyone ever feel like they want to make themselves uglier to reinforce their belief that they are ugly? Like how you can exist in a place where you're convinced you're hideous, but other people try to put a positive spin on your appearance, and you almost wish you were ugly in a clearly obvious, objective way so they could really see what you see?
not quite as noone has ever put a positive spin on how i look. I think everyone can see what I see
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  #379  
Old 31st August 2018, 22:38
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Merritt, I've attempted to write a reply to your post about 78 times and deleted it each time because I can't make myself sound un-nuts

I'm not trying to play a game of crazy top trumps with you, but...

I kind of get what you mean, but for me it's more like... I feel like I shouldn't try with my appearance because people will comment on it or notice it and I don't want people to think I'm trying too hard (and failing) to cover up my ugliness. It's difficult to explain. It's like I think people will look at me like I'm a cat shit with a bow on it. Does that make sense?

It seems to only be a thing when I'm with people that I know. Today, I thought I'd try and do something nice with my hair and make up and went out into town like it because I wasn't meeting anyone, so didn't have to have the worries above because no one in town has a comparison. I bumped into one of my Mum's friends that I haven't seen for well over 10 years. She was like, "YOU LOOK GORGEOUS!" it was really awkward because there's no way that I look gorgeous .

If I try and do anything different about myself then I feel really weird.
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  #380  
Old 16th September 2018, 23:03
Merritt Merritt is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Oops, only just saw these replies

I know what you mean, Biscuits. It's worse to feel like you've actually tried and still fell short (even if only in your own view) I'm always afraid of dressing too nicely, or at least trying to dress nicely, because I think it'd only create this weird contrast between the clothes and me.

I tend to dress as boringly as possible. Boring clothes and simple hair (never a style, just hair) If I tried wearing something smart or got a proper haircut, I imagine it'd look almost sarcastic on me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deadbeatunderadustymoon
not quite as noone has ever put a positive spin on how i look. I think everyone can see what I see
Positive spin's probably a bit much, what I meant was that general 'Nah, you're fine' thing people do if you ever have attention drawn to your appearance, the sort of thing people would probably do even if you were profoundly deformed.
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  #381  
Old 17th September 2018, 23:51
3stacks 3stacks is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I thought I had this but I think I'm just genuinely ugly, I have a huge nose and kinda bad acne scars on both sides of my face
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  #382  
Old 29th September 2018, 02:09
Deadbeatunderadustymoon Deadbeatunderadustymoon is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3stacks
I thought I had this but I think I'm just genuinely ugly, I have a huge nose and kinda bad acne scars on both sides of my face

Me too. I mean people say Iím ugly so I guess I must be, So I guess this means i dont have bdd, but then I cant bear to look in a mirror so is that bdd or just a normal reaction to not wanting to see how ugly I am?

I mean Im balding, medically obese, old, have freckles, acne scars, bug eyes, big nose, big ears, red blotchy skin, small ... well you get the picture!
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  #383  
Old 29th September 2018, 11:21
T T is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I've not been diagnosed with it but i've struggled over the years regarding about my looks... when i was growing up i had a few comments on being ugly thrown at me which prob didn't help with it...but learnt to grow to like me when i was in my mid 20s but now i'm struggling with it again ggrrr i try not to dwell on it and just think of the positives i'm doing as i used to wear a hat everywhere i went but this year i've hardly worn it which is a big deal for me.. i've started to wear it again recently though just like my comfort blanket thing i guess.
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