What do you do to improve your self-esteem?

[mimosa_the_madness_mouse]

Hello, don't post here much now, but am really interested as to what degree improving one's self-esteem has to improving one's sa. I think low self-esteem has contributed significantly to my sa and as a result am starting to do things to improve my self-esteem levels, such as trying out new things like baking, going to places I wouldn't usually go to, and even taking lots of time over a bath and bothering to do stuff like moisturising and painting my nails. Just wondered what other people do to improve your self-esteem?
(apols. if this belongs in the sa room)

I think that's great squeaky mouse

My self esteeme is crazily low and at the mo i'm not doing much to help it grow any. My fitness has gone to pot reccently so i really want to start looking at the stuff i'm putting in me body and get me bum on the tredmill cause last year i had some of them endorithingies and i want em back. I want to notice beautiful things around me, yesterday i saw some ickle buds starting to grow on a rose bush and i just felt aww new life. I want to hug as many trees as poss. Also want to hug my children and tell them i love them as much as poss cause they my lil treasures.

[AL'S UP FOR IT]

Perfect timing for a thread... I started a self esteem CBT course today which will last for 12 weeks, This first session I found surprisingly quite hard just being there....

The course follows a book called; Overcoming Low self Esteem (self help course) which is a 3 part programme based on CBT


I don't know whether you are interested in this type of thing but i'm all up for breaking the cycles.

I think my SA and self-esteem issues are deeply interlinked. I am tackling them both separately as they are two separate issues and by doing this the work I do for both will hopefully work hand in hand in benefiting me.

[TimB72]

There's no doubt low-self esteem will make things worse, and not just SA-wise - so if you can feel better about yourself, and life, then it will help.

Improving your self-esteem is hard work though, especially if you are naturally negative or you self-hate/harm etc, or have circumstances that don't help, but its all about trying not to let you/life knock your self-esteem down.

What makes it hard is you have to be aware of yourself, realise when your self-esteem is being attacked - either by yourself or others - and do what you can to prevent it. For me, all my self-hate and self-doubts were constantly chipping away at my self-esteem, but over the past year I've managed to stop most of it and most days I no longer 'attack' myself. I do have major relapses though, but I know thats inevitable, its a case of trying to build myself up again afterwards as soon as possible. I just wish I didn't have the relapses, as starting again is hard - but I've got to do it, or my life isn't worth living.

[Vinylogist]

I'm going to sound such a vain bastard when I say this, but oh well...

When I look in the mirror it improves my self esteem, especially when I have my shirt off since I've been working out over the last 12 monthes.

Taking care over your appearance, and being proud over what you have got can give a great boost to self esteem.

(Ok, it sounds vain. But it's what I think )

[mimosa_the_madness_mouse]

Cheers for the replies, guys. Sounds like the whole physical exercise thing can help a fair bit. I'm attempting to work up to that, by swimming. Also trying to appreciate the beautiful things that you don't always notice if you're feeling down about yourself. A course like the one Al mentions sounds like another thing that could prove very useful...there never seems to be anything like that happening near me sadly! I do try to watch my self talk, but it's all too easy to watch it slide out of control sometimes!

[Vinylogist]

Originally Posted by squeaky_mouse

Cheers for the replies, guys. Sounds like the whole physical exercise thing can help a fair bit. I'm attempting to work up to that, by swimming.

Good choice, I've always been told that swimming is the best form of exercise and uses more muscles than any other type of exercise

[shaken_and_stirred]

Hi. I've found that a routine and working somewhere you are relatively happy and somewhat appreciated and noticed helps. Flirting, if possible, is good! Eating well is also helpful, strangely. Somehow you've got to find a way to give a s*** about yourself. It's really hard when you're fragile inside, but if you get a build up of good self esteem you'll find the bad times don't hit you quite as hard.

[scarlet_diva]

Treat yourself kindly. That can do wonders for self-esteem. If you're used to having been bashed since childhood-- people telling you that you're worthless and all that other crap, and you're now doing the same to yourself all over again, then now it's time to reverse that and really start to be nice to yourself, take crap from no one and realise that not everyone is perfect.

Whatever bad points you may have, you will probably meet someone who will adore just that one part of you more than anything.
That's what takes me by surprise, when I've met blokes/people (but especially blokes) in the past, how they seem totally blind to my MASSIVE insecurities like I'm totally fine & there's nothing wrong with me. Whereas, left to my own devices I can easily convince myself I'm an ugly boring loser scary ogre.

I think cos we spend so much time alone we don't get enough positive feedback from other people which at the end of the day really does help.

[Cellardweller]

Everything i say is just rabble anyway. But if all your life you have been told you have got to do this and you have got to do that, when you start to get older and you ain't doing it you start to lose your self-seteem. Who would'nt? S/A or no S/A.

We have been brainwashed

[bozrena]

As previously mentioned, exercise helps but I don't have the discipline to stick to a routine. For a quick fix (I know this is just masking myself but it works for me) I like to go for crazy makeup and clothing. Faking it sometimes works! If you look confident & you act confidently it can make you feel better in yourself. Although looking at some of the pics afterwards, I do sometimes wonder "what was I thinking?" an example:

[scarlet_diva]

Nice pic Bozrena!
You're also right about the faking it to make it bit. I've had to use that trick on a few occasions, like on dates & stuff. If you act like you feel wonderful about yourself (even if inside you feel like an ugly old bag) it tends to rub off on people, so you get positive feedback & that, in turn makes you feel better about yourself.