The Great Relationship Poll

[Phool]

Straight, female and No, thank goodness!

Having too tough a time with my own emotions at the moment to deal with someone elses.

BTW - we did a poll of age and gender at new year and men outnumber women 3 to 1 on this site. So results reflect that ratio.

[Ben1981]

Straight male and no. Highly unlikely to change in the near future given my luck with women.

[Neil]

Originally Posted by CaveGirl

Most single men on SAUK seem to be fearful of women and we live in a world where men usually make the first move, SA men find this hard so the results will reflect this.

Nice to have you back CaveGirl! I love how you cut straight to the point! So the long and short of it is, "grow a pair"! This is the reality and there is no point whinging about why things aren't different.

I would say that apart from low self-esteem issues and lack of courage there is also another aspect. Social isolation, particularly if suffered since childhood can result in a lack of social skills and cognitive ability. Skills can be learned. Lack of cognitive ability makes things a little more challenging.

[Rocket Spud]

Yep.. 70% of people polled here are male so far Thought it may be slightly more equal BUT i'm more interested in which sex is more likely to be in a relationship and looking at the trend, i'm not surprised.... i've always thought SA is a more acceptable flaw in females.



... I've had a couple of beers

[VeryQuietGuy]

Gay male and not in a relationship although im only 18

[Pandapop]

Noooooooooooooo

[Neil]

Originally Posted by CaveGirl

You assumed wrong and people who say "grow a pair" should be smacked with fishes as i've been told to "grow balls" at least three times this year.
I was explaining the poll's results , not giving people advice on how to overcome being single.

Maybe a male member should start a thread giving advice to men who have yet to find a partner or explain how they managed to start dating? It could be helpful.

I realize you were explaining the results. But the practical conclusion to that explanation is "grow a pair".

"Most single men on SAUK seem to be fearful of women".

[cavedin]

Emski and Pandapop you should be having your pick of men!

[Alex652]

Originally Posted by Neil

I realize you were explaining the results. But the practical conclusion to that explanation is "grow a pair".

"Most single men on SAUK seem to be fearful of women".

I really hate the expression 'grow a pair'. Its really not that helpful.

[diplodocus]

Originally Posted by CaveGirl

Most single men on SAUK seem to be fearful of women and we live in a world where men usually make the first move , SA men find this hard so the results will reflect this.

More so, we live in a world where men are expected to make the first move. I don't think SAUK men are fearful of women, I think they are fearful of rejection (isn't that what SA is about?). I think you'll find SAUK women are just as fearful but they don't have to worry about it nearly so much because women get approached far more than men.

It might not be popular with the women on this site but imho it is significantly harder for SA men to pursue relationships because unlike women they aren't very likely to be approached and will have to do the approaching if they want a relationship. I suspect I'm not the only person to believe this is the case.

I'm currently in a relationship but unsurprisingly I've managed to get over much of my fear of rejection. I was single for quite some time before because of my fear of rejection.

Originally Posted by Phool

BTW - we did a poll of age and gender at new year and men outnumber women 3 to 1 on this site. So results reflect that ratio.

No they don't Straight men are almost 5 times more likely to be single than those in relationships, whilst women are roughly 50% 50%.

Originally Posted by Neil

This is the reality and there is no point whinging about why things aren't different.

I totally agree, but it's bullshit to deny that it isn't harder for men.

Originally Posted by Rocket Spud

i've always thought SA is a more acceptable flaw in females.

It might be a more socially acceptable flaw in females but I believe the major factor is that men are the ones who are expected to do the approaching. Women on average in my experience seem petrified and just won't approach. The will do anything but make an overt approach.

[Pandapop]

Originally Posted by cavedin

Emski and Pandapop you should be having your pick of men!

Don't be sillyyyyyyyy
No one wants an agoraphobic girl tbh

[Duke of Prunes]

Originally Posted by Pandapop

Don't be sillyyyyyyyy
No one wants an agoraphobic girl tbh

Imagine an agoraphobic couple though, they'd be having sex all the time to cure their boredom. That's the life

[Pandapop]

Originally Posted by Duke of Prunes

Imagine an agoraphobic couple though, they'd be having sex all the time to cure their boredom. That's the life

I know right, would be awesome.


Any agoraphobic guys about?

[Dannysbabe]

Straight female, perpetually single, though not through choice.

[Neil]

Originally Posted by diplodocus

[They, men]will have to do the approaching if they want a relationship..........bullshit to deny that it isn't harder for men.

And the worst thing about it is that, to add insult to injury, if you even try to insinuate the obvious, you'll start world war three! But my point is that no amount of whinging will change this societal reality, so you've got to arm yourself with courage and prepare to make yourself vulnerable, what's the alternative? You've got to face the music and dance and in the process learn to overcome your fears and hangups. You are right Cavegirl; it is a change in mindset. You have to stop feeling like a victim of circumstance for starters, and then as you said, figure out what works for you.

[diplodocus]

Originally Posted by Neil

And the worst thing about it is that, to add insult to injury, if you even try to insinuate the obvious, you'll start world war three! But my point is that no amount of whinging will change this societal reality, so you've got to arm yourself with courage and prepare to make yourself vulnerable, what's the alternative? You've got to face the music and dance and in the process learn to overcome your fears and hangups.

You know I totally agree with you. There is absolutely no point in pontificating about how much easier it would be if we were born a different gender, what will be will be.

BUT it don't half piss me off when some people claim it's just as hard for women as men. No way!

[Pandapop]

Originally Posted by CaveGirl

I pulled while agoraphobic.

Our "dates" were mad (I was mocked about them by a man I fancied for a bit) as they took place in my home or in dark streets before I could do more normal things during the day. I was lucky finding someone so accommodating I suppose.

Yeah so have I but in the end they get fed up tbh or i don't wanna put it on them.

[Dannysbabe]

Originally Posted by diplodocus

BUT it don't half piss me off when some people claim it's just as hard for women as men. No way!

Well it is for some of us! Check out incel support if you dont believe me

[schneebeli]

Originally Posted by Dannysbabe

Straight female, perpetually single, though not through choice.

I thought you did have a fella in the past, Dannysbabe?

[diplodocus]

Originally Posted by Dannysbabe

Well it is for some of us! Check out incel support if you dont believe me

I'm sure it is. It's not my aim to single out individuals. On the whole though I believe it is harder being a male. If you were male, how much worse could it be? I'm pretty damn sure if I was female I'd never have to be single for a day in my life except by choice. A lot of womens problems seem to be with how they cope with relationships.

The opportunities seem to present themselves but they have problems with intimacy and trust issues. With men, they often can't even get those opportunities in the first place.

[Dannysbabe]

Originally Posted by schneebeli

I thought you did have a fella in the past, Dannysbabe?

Blimey! Someone's got a long memory, lol ! I did, til about 2004 but been single ever since then.

[schneebeli]

I'm not stalking you, honest

[Dannysbabe]

Originally Posted by diplodocus

I'm sure it is. It's not my aim to single out individuals. On the whole though I believe it is harder being a male. If you were male, how much worse could it be? I'm pretty damn sure if I was female I'd never have to be single for a day in my life except by choice. A lot of womens problems seem to be with how they cope with relationships.

The opportunities seem to present themselves but they have problems with intimacy and trust issues. With men, they often can't even get those opportunities in the first place.

Well I can only speak for myself of course, but I've never been approached by a man and therefore consider myself single not by choice, I just dont get the opportunites at all that you seem to think women get just by being female I'm told I'm attractive but unfortunately I have pretty severe SA which means I can't interact well with others, especially men

[diplodocus]

Originally Posted by Dannysbabe

Well I can only speak for myself of course, but I've never been approached by a man and therefore consider myself single not by choice, I just dont get the opportunites at all that you seem to think women get just by being female I'm told I'm attractive but unfortunately I have pretty severe SA which means I can't interact well with others, especially men

Then it doesn't sound like it can get much worst for you as it is BUT I'm pretty certain that if I was female I'd have had millions of more opportunities than I have had for pursuing relationships. My little sister isn't exactly confident but because she's quite attractive and friendly she gets approached literally all the time. I went out last night with my gf and she got approached absolutely loads. I didn't get approached once the whole night.

It's just my experience but guys generally don't get approached at all. Girls get approached far more on the whole but of course there are some cases, like yours where they don't get approached. I don't know why, and I wouldn't be able to tell you why because I'd be pretty unlikely to approach you anyway!

And do you not get approached or are you not able to respond as you'd like to their approach?

[Toxic]

male..straight...single ()

thats totally new and refreshing in this thread!

[Dannysbabe]

Originally Posted by diplodocus

Then it doesn't sound like it can get much worst for you as it is BUT I'm pretty certain that if I was female I'd have had millions of more opportunities than I have had for pursuing relationships. My little sister isn't exactly confident but because she's quite attractive and friendly she gets approached literally all the time. I went out last night with my gf and she got approached absolutely loads. I didn't get approached once the whole night.

It's just my experience but guys generally don't get approached at all. Girls get approached far more on the whole but of course there are some cases, like yours where they don't get approached. I don't know why, and I wouldn't be able to tell you why because I'd be pretty unlikely to approach you anyway!

And do you not get approached or are you not able to respond as you'd like to their approach?

Maybe the reason i dont get approached is that I dont go out anywhere, do you mean when one is out at a bar or club or just generally during the day? If the latter, then no, its never happened, but with the former I'm not into nightclubs and I have no friends to go out anywhere with anyway, and wouldnt go alone so I really dont know what the answer is

[Johnni]

Originally Posted by kafkafan

No bi option?

I thought that but i guess there's isn't as your lot considered greedy

[Johnni]

Originally Posted by kafkafan

Mainly I really don't know whether I'm un-f***ed-up enough for a relationship again yet. I'm working on it. I can see how people with problems can support each other, but I tend to get pretty un-likable when I'm down and it causes problems because I'm not self-aware about it, or I wasn't last time.

Guess I feel I need to work on my problems on my own for a bit longer first, but I dunno, maybe that's avoidance. I'm in two minds. Also just making some friends is probably more important to me at the moment - I've been way too long without any, and that makes me lonelier than not having a partner tbh.

I have the same outlook. I guess its hard to know yourself how you are when you are'nt feeling the best.
I think i need to build more friendships first than relationships as i feel i can have a partner but i would still crave friends rather than vice versa. If i had friends i would feel that by having that social circle the opportunities to find a partner will come along so eventually it will happen. The worry is is that if i had a gf i would latch onto her too much and be less motivated to put myself out there more to meet people as i have her and do everything with her socially.

[diplodocus]

Originally Posted by Dannysbabe

Maybe the reason i dont get approached is that I dont go out anywhere, do you mean when one is out at a bar or club or just generally during the day? If the latter, then no, its never happened, but with the former I'm not into nightclubs and I have no friends to go out anywhere with anyway, and wouldnt go alone so I really dont know what the answer is

Yeah that would have something to do with it. How would you know if you would get approached if you don't ever go out?

Getting approached during the day is very rare for anyone! But I mean in clubs and bars. I never get approached, well it's happened enough times to count on one hand at least. But women that I have known get approached a fair bit in the same places.

But think of it as a bloke, you not only have to start going out, but then you have the added pressure of having to approach women in those situations too.

[Duke of Prunes]

Originally Posted by Pandapop

I know right, would be awesome.


Any agoraphobic guys about?

I can pretend