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#1
23rd January 2006, 20:48
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Chav woes
Does anyone else have particular difficulty with these cocky young hooligans besides me? More to the point, does anyone have any strategies for dealing with them?
I have been thinking recently, half my anxiety and agoraphobia would disappear if these people didn't exist. If I analyse my thoughts prior to going outside, my thoughts almost always surround encountering chavs on the street, getting into a staring match with them, being mocked by them, a confrontation, or even a physical fight. I hadn't gone out of the house for a few days recently, then I was forced to go out, and as soon as I left the front door I immediately got into a staring match with a chav. I stared for a few seconds before panicking and looking away. The guy was probably eight years younger than me and physically far weaker. But I was defeated! Then on the same night I was sat in the back of someone's car and I got into a further TWO staring matches. I get so worked up by my panicking and then I feel anger over the defeat. It's pathetic I know, but it takes me weeks to get over. I've had much worse experiences with these people over the years. I'm utterly transparent when I get panicky - my face distorts, my mouth drops, I get sweaty, jittery, I can't speak without my voice sounding wracked with anxiety, I can't speak coherently because my brain seizes up etc. etc.. The result is this immediately draws the attention of the chavs towards me. Even little school kids see the fear they can instill in my face. And they love it, it gives them a feeling of power. I think I need to change the way I am seeing these situations, or a strategy to deal with them when they occur. |
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#2
23rd January 2006, 23:37
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Re: Chav woes
I see where you're coming from....dealing with it is particularly hard.
(Although one of them shouted abuse at my Mum once...then he came past on his bike and yelled something at me. I sprinted after him, caught up with him and lets just say that the little f*cker had a grazed chin when I was finished with him  )The only way to deal with it is to stand up to them. Don't stare back, block them out and make sure you have the last word. Don't get into a slanging match with them. Just walk away. All they want is a reaction, so just don't give them one. Walk away, listen to music when you're out walking and pretend they're not there. I know it's easier said than done, but eventually you will be able to do it. |
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#4
24th January 2006, 00:10
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Re: Chav woes
I hate chavs. However, 99% of them are complete cowards. If ever I go to the shops and there is a crowd of them outside I'll walk straight through it no problem. You have to stand up to them!
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#5
24th January 2006, 01:41
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Re: Chav woes
I always used to feel nervous if i had to walk past a group of teenagers,but now i just ignore them.
Now I always think to myself "i am an adult and they are children,i have no reason to speak to them or even acknowlege them". I think if they see that you are afraid that makes them feel good,and gives them a feeling of power. I was waiting at a bus stop one day,and this chav schoolkid walked past and said "alright mate" or something like that,i could tell by the self satisfied grin on his face he was only speaking to me to see what my reaction would be, i just ignored him,i thought "i dont know this person why the f++k would i acknowledge somebody i dont even know". Its easier said than done,i still find older chavs, especially big groups of them intimidating. |
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#6
24th January 2006, 02:02
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Re: Chav woes
Quote:
Not all chavs are bad people but the ones that go around starting on randoms for fun deserve a battering of a lifetime smashed into a coma would be ideal. As for happy slappers well i think i could kill them with my bare hands the little shits. |
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#7
24th January 2006, 16:44
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Re: Chav woes
Do you live in Blackpool? Forgive me for asking but is it a particularly run-down area where you live?
On the one hand, I believe we shouldn't pass judgement on people. I'm quite happy to believe that council tenants, single parents, homeless people, binge drinkers, drug addicts, prison inmates and asylum seekers are all victims of circumstances until there's compelling evidence otherwise. And even when there is compelling evidence otherwise, I'm still happy believe that perhaps they have become a reformed person since then. Why? Because if I judge others negatively, there's a risk I might judge myself by the same yardstick, which I'd rather not do. But .... on the other hand ... I totally understand where you're coming from. If it feels like you're surrounded by the dregs of society, then that's very scary, and will naturally make you more agoraphobic. Whether you really are surrounded by low-lifes or not is beside the point. You're naturally angry too, because you know your agoraphobia isn't totally your fault. All I can suggest is try to move to a nicer area, if you can afford it. I live in a south western suburb of London, albeit in a rented flat in a block, but it's lovely round here. Failing that, do you have any friends or relatives who could visit you? Do you know anyone in the area at all - or are they all chavs? Is there a library or church nearby, where you could find out about local community activities you could get involved in? If there are any nice people in the area, then that's probably the best way of meeting them. If any of them live on the same estate as you, then, chances are, they're going through exactly the same anger and agoraphobia as you are, so you will already have a lot in common to talk about. Keep us informed. Last edited by Jessie Phillips; 24th January 2006 at 17:00. |
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#9
24th January 2006, 22:26
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Re: Chav woes
Quote:
hahaha omg |
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#10
24th January 2006, 22:46
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Re: Chav woes
I used to always scans peeps eyes..whether young or old..male or female..so in return i got odd looks back, which fed my anxiety, now i am trying to be as laid back as i can when out and not to scan them..just i need to know exactly how many peeps or who is there..but what for..so i am trying my hardest not to do it..it is quit a victorious feeling if i can walk past groups and just keep looking straight (making sure i dont look down!)
DO try not to stare..that is how trouble starts up first many times! keep ur head up as well ! I wonder what jessy phillips has with council peeps..this is the second post he has to give them/ "us" a mention. you know jessie i am a council tenant and am quit happy where i live, and i am NOT a "victim of circumstances" or whatever..i live here with my kids , living our lives.so what! i am well pissed about that...u know i 've just watched CBB maybe that is why i FINALLY feel free to just express something 
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#11
24th January 2006, 23:26
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Re: Chav woes
Quote:
If a very large stick isnt around use all weapons at your disposal and find a very large housebrick instead 
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#12
12th February 2006, 19:12
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Re: Chav woes
I havent had any problems with chavs really (it's cos I'm invisible) but if a chav decided to threat me or anything I think I'd go for the all out psycho choice...
You widen your eyes in fear, breathe heavily, run around a bit and scream at the top of your lungs. "Rapist!" "Murderer!" "My baby!" "Help!" It's easier for girls, I'm afraid fellas. Then hopefully loads of people will stop to look/come over and the chav would get embarassed/scared and leave... Or they might just kick the sh*t out of you. *shrugs* Seriously though, when you're walking past them keep looking ahead, not at them or at the ground. If you're looking at the ground with your head bowed you look like an easy target. |
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#13
12th February 2006, 20:14
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Re: Chav woes
They're thick, trouble making chavs. Nothing more, nothing less. Just don't stare at them in the first place because when dealing with these chavs, you have to keep in mind of their extreme shortage of brain capacity and so when you make eye contact, it provokes them and they see this as a threat (Much like the animal kindom). So it's best to ignore these rather volatile species known as Chavs.I should know as I live near loads of the ****ers.
I always get dirty looks, I just ignore them and so should you. |
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#14
12th February 2006, 21:35
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Re: Chav woes
They make me paranoid, too, my estate is infested with them. I think it's the 'don't give a sh*t' attitude coupled with the 'proud to be stupid thing' that's everywhere these days. I know it's wrong to label large groups of people in such a manner but the amount of needless vandalism, stupidity and crime they have committed around my area makes me not want to bother even trying to understand them. And there's even worse areas!
I try and ignore/avoid them but you get that feeling that you're even weaker than you already feel which is not good when you want to develop confidence in yourself. I'm not what you would call physically weak but I just don't want to get involved in any type of violence or confrontation - especially when it would pointlessly lead to more guilt, fear and regret. I guess the most realistic, logical thing would be to see the bonus in not getting involved, no matter how hard it can feel. At least you will come out of it in one piece, albeit irritated as f*ck. |
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#15
13th February 2006, 01:51
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Re: Chav woes
Chavs and teenagers in general are easily the most SA-troubling people of all I think. It really winds me up, cause most of them look freakin' awful, are totally mindless, and you know they are only hanging around certain areas because they haven't got the sense or intelligence to think of anything else to do. So when they give YOU abuse, it makes you want to stand there and mock them to death, rather than act all intimidated.
There are quite a few around here considering it's a small seaside town/village...and they ALWAYS hang around the same spot. One of them was shouting something tonight - possibly at me, I didn't look - which just sounded like incoherent babbling, a bit like some primate. When I came back over an hour later, they were still there...in the rain, shouting  Pointless doesn't even begin to cover it.
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#16
13th February 2006, 07:09
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Re: Chav woes
I know the feeling Coward (I wish you'd change your username or at least put your real name at the bottom of your post!) I am at my most anxious when I walk by lads or even blokes in their 20's. I have been on the end of a few unprovoked attacks in my time and was bullied at school so that is probably the reason why I am so anxious around them. It's still really hard for me to walk by them but I try to think to myself that they are most probably harmless, and in most cases that is true. There are only a few of these groups that need some sort of sadistic fix by picking on anyone that crosses their path. I do tend to stay away from certain areas that are known as hang out spots for these lads especially at night so that has reduced the risk of me being picked on as well.
Anyway hope this helps. Take care. |
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#17
18th April 2006, 21:58
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Re: Chav woes
Heya!
I can relate to your "chav" woes! We seem to have large groups of under-18's gathering outside local supermarkets up here in Scotland (what is the attraction? are they trying to intimidate someone into buying them booze?). I always find the best way to deal with them is to, as said previously, avoid their gaze andlook straight ahead, with your head held high, and a scowl also helps feign "hardness". Another avoidance tactic is to wear headphones. You'll not only be able to drown out their "chat", but you have free reign to ignore any interaction from them! Cheers! Stuz |
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#18
18th April 2006, 23:53
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Re: Chav woes
This was a real nightmare for me not so long ago.
I do what farah rose does. But slowly you find out the half the people you call chavs are just bored kids. I think the impression can be far greater, when a few guys makes everone lifes a missery. They are looking for a reation, if you don't give it to them they will ignore you in most cases. |
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#19
20th April 2006, 20:35
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Re: Chav woes
They are my personal worst fear when it comes to facing people. Walking past a group of them in the street...
I used to hate them and want them all dead, but I guess it's not their fault really. A chav is usually born when parenting is messed up and they haven't been brought up to be themselves or to resist the brainwashing techniques of teenagers. |
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#21
20th April 2006, 22:02
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Re: Chav woes
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#22
20th April 2006, 22:03
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Re: Chav woes
if you want to build confidence up, take up a marital art, just going to a few classes, makes u feel 10 times better, OK u won't be able to do anything with it, until u've studies it for years, but it helps mentally, in all aspects of confidence.
If you want a quicker fix, then go to one of those self defense classes, which focus on the simple but effective techiniques. Just to say what everyone else has been saying, don't engage in a staring contest, and ignore anything they say, they are just out to get a rise from it, and look tough in front of their mates. |
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#23
20th April 2006, 23:12
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Re: Chav woes
Whenever a 'chav' thread pops up (or scallys as i know them as) theres always the same kind of responses - either just ignore them and hope they go away, or else fight them.
Maybe its just the ones who live around me, but i don't think either of these would work. If just ignoring them worked, i would never have a problem with them. I can put up with verbal abuse (it usually just proves their stupidity), but usually they're not happy to leave it at that..... Which leads me to the fight back response. Yes, they are usually younger, skinnier and probably weaker. Why then, are they starting a fight with me? People don't start fights that they know they'll lose. If i were to turn around and fight back, i would get jumped by all their friends and get a kickin'. Or else they would pull out a knife, or try and bottle me or something else equally undesirable for the wellbeing of my head. Or - yes, theres more - my personal favourite this one, you fight back, win and all is well. Untill you go out again and find that you're being confronted by several large, angry ape-like figures who all want to know what you did to their poor defenseless brother/cousin/friend etc (you get the picture). Sorry for the rather ranting post, but i dont mind saying that chavs actually scare the shit out of me. Yes they're stupid, yes they look even more stupid, and yes, they probably are all inbred. But that all means nothing, because my superior dress sense and vocabulary won't stop my head from breaking. (I hate being a coward  )
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#25
21st April 2006, 03:38
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Re: Chav woes
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The only way to keep the control over these yobs is to out-think them. As euclid has said,these people will not start fights that they 'know' that they will lose. - they almost always have strength in numbers. The only way that (you) can keep 'your' power, is to be aware. Now theres nothing wrong with being a chicken. I say boll*x to ego.....ego will only get you in trouble.These thugs will give you a hiding and kick the hell into you,without thinking twice...I won't give them power. You only have one life,and one well placed kick or deep stab could end it. -If I see a group of yobs hanging around on a corner,then I won't think twice about walking the long way around to get home,even if it does add five minutes to my journey. Its called being smart,not chicken. Just a point about seeing them staring at you. You must being looking at them to see them looking at you...right? Last edited by english-ice; 24th June 2006 at 00:31. |
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#26
21st April 2006, 09:18
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Re: Chav woes
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Most times I'll catch someones eye, I'll look and calmly look back to where I am going. If you fix their gaze inevitably you'll end up in a staring match which just escalates the situation into a battle of wills. If one of them insults me I'll just smile and laugh at them. This usually upsets them as they don't think their words have had the desired effect but it is non-aggressive so your not going to make things worse. I find it helps me feel better about the situation anyway. |
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#27
21st April 2006, 10:58
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Re: Chav woes
Ahh, like Lazarus the thread returns!
Yes, I'm sorry to say chavs are not always all front. From personal experience many do resort to violence - so don't underestimate them. Over the years I've seen countless acts of mindless street thuggery. Most recently I was walking home at night, turned a corner and there on the other side of the corner were around twenty chavs. Fortunately for me their attention was focused on someone else. That someone else was a stray night-clubber on his way home. Well, this fellow had decided to be brave and was humouring them. I hurried on by more or less unnoticed but before I could say 'Burberry's crap!' I heard a crash, looked round and saw this poor lad's unconscious head being kicked across the pavement. Not a pleasant sight I can tell you, and it was made all the more chilling by the hysterical laughter of those present who decided to pull out video phones to gather footage. |
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#28
21st April 2006, 11:40
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Re: Chav woes
Of course they are not 'all front'.
We underestimate the pack mentality at our peril. These people lack a lot of confidence and esteem... on their own. But in a pack their confidence grows out of all proportion, so they can feel a kind of power they never feel as an individual. They can be extremely cocky because they know they have 20 mates to back them up it it goes pear-shaped. Violence and intimidation are their stock-in-trade. It's what they do best. They are comfortable with it as it brings them a feeling of power that in general life they lack severely. In my younger days me and my then girlfriend would get a dog's abuse off the local band of urchins when they were mob-handed, but individually many of them would let on to me as they passed me in the street. My abuse only stopped when I bottled the lot of them and they thought I was a psycho. That could have back-fired on me bigtime though, so I'd not advocate that as a way of dealing with these people. I also took to carrying a bread knife, which again, I'd certainly not advocate. When you reach the end of your tether anything can happen though. I'd have used that knife too, so I'm just glad I never felt I had to in the end. These days I'd be more clever. If I were done over by people I could trace I'd let the dust settle for a few months then brick their windows and paint stripper their cars one by one. they'd never know who was targetting them as they've probably abused far more people than me in their time so could only guess at who was doing it. I know this is not a nice thing to be doing, but if people take the piss they will eventually get what's coming to them. What goes around... |
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#29
21st April 2006, 11:56
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Re: Chav woes
To brick their windows could be problematic. Council estates tend to be heavily surveillanced these days and the chavs in question might live several floors up, in which case you'd need some sort of catapult to reach their window.
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#30
21st April 2006, 12:33
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Re: Chav woes
Quote:
The logistics of my pay-back may need improvisation, but one way or another it would happen at some point. The 16 yeal old scally dishing it out now, with nothing to lose, becomes a different target altogether when at 17 he has a nice shiny souped-up Vauxhall Corsa parked on the street. If he's still giving it large then, a jiff lemom filled with paint stripper will do a nice job on his Corsa as I speed past on my bike. So, there are ways and means. Maybe this is my darker side showing here, but if you can't beat a mob who has it in for you... and lets face it, who can? Other avenues often become necessary, particularly when PC Plod continually tell you there is 'nothing they can do'. I remember years ago when our estate had a rough element who broke into our neighbours car. The coppers response was to tell my dad and neighbour to get up a mob, get tooled up and beat the living crap out of those responsible one dark night. And that is straight up too. I've not flowered that conversation up at all. When my dad mentioned getting a gun to scare the crap out of them, all the copper said was 'he didn't quite catch' what my dad had said. Basically the message was to get masked up and give them a pasting because other than that, little could be done. |
