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  #1  
Old 15th May 2019, 21:51
Laurel Laurel is offline
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Default People outside the house when you're wanting to go out

Just noticed this small tantrum I had to myself about people outside the house when you're wanting to go out. I think to myself 'how dare they be there', 'why should I be the subject of their attention if I go out?, 'I just want to pop to the shop.'
And i look at this, and I know it's irrational. And maybe I will, maybe I won't be part of their attention.
I think in Buddhism they like the idea of the 'non-self', the fact, we've all labelled ourselves and put names on ourselves. Really i'm 'just another human', doing what a human does. People may comment, but it'd be based on the on 'the world of appearances'. Eg not amounting to much. It's just irritating, as somebody who lacks confidence, that this lack can be oh so visible to someone you don't want to see you committing this lack.
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Old 15th May 2019, 23:01
snoo snoo is offline
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Default Re: People outside the house when you're wanting to go out

Ha, I have the reverse of this.

I live in a block of flats and dislike having to take the lift with people - the kind of awkward 'should I smile or just ignore them' type thing. If I am going up there and there is someone waiting I would often take the stairs just to avoid this. But sometimes it can't be avoided.

Gotta fight through it I think. Such behaviours only reinforce current thinking.
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Old 16th May 2019, 06:12
Laurel Laurel is offline
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Default Re: People outside the house when you're wanting to go out

That's funny - I was in a lift the other day for the first time in years. I was doing a delivery, and I was horrified people were joining me. Yeah it's hard etiquette when you see someone you know, whether you should acknowledge them, or make conversation or what.
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  #4  
Old 16th May 2019, 07:56
Laracroft2 Laracroft2 is offline
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Default Re: People outside the house when you're wanting to go out

I think this is a really British trait. I feel the same when Im walking the dog. Do I acknowledge the other dog walkers or what? I have decided (its taken decades of ruminating) that you just say hello and they will either respond or not. They mostly do and then the moment is over and they have moved on. I guess in a lift, do the same. They will either respond in kind or ignore you which will mean they are probably more anxious than you are. At least you have done your bit and can relax for the rest of the ride.
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Old 20th May 2019, 19:57
BritishPeace BritishPeace is offline
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Default Re: People outside the house when you're wanting to go out

Oh I hate it.

In uni, I would not go into the kitchen of other people were there and so would often not eat.
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  #6  
Old 21st May 2019, 18:19
uttermadness uttermadness is offline
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Default Re: People outside the house when you're wanting to go out

Yes, triggers my anxiety if people are hanging about outside and if ive got to go out and walk past them, I get in a right old panicky state and never know if I should say hello or ignore...usually ill go bright red and just hope they aren't looking at me!

This also reminds me of when I lived with my parents.. id be hiding in my room upstairs if people were downstairs visiting my parents.
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  #7  
Old 21st May 2019, 20:20
limey123 limey123 is offline
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Default Re: People outside the house when you're wanting to go out

^ I hear you. I also dislike walking past groups of people just hanging around, especially if they are clearly watching me.
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  #8  
Old 23rd June 2019, 20:44
theshyone theshyone is offline
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Default Re: People outside the house when you're wanting to go out

Yep same here. When I lived in a house share I'd avoid the common spaces most of the time. Nightmare!
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  #9  
Old 24th June 2019, 00:39
mrbean_vegan mrbean_vegan is offline
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Default Re: People outside the house when you're wanting to go out

When I want to go out and neighbours or people of this condominium are there talking or staying there, I wait until I understand i have the green light to go out avoiding them.

In case I have to take a train and I can't avoid avoiding them (sorry for the repetition) I go out anyway and that's it.
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