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  #1  
Old 14th August 2019, 20:10
sillypenguin sillypenguin is offline
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Default Does depression ever go away

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety a good couple of years ago although I was suffering from it way before that, i can't remember how far back. I've both had a really rough time and an alright time, but I've never felt 'good' not really. Even when good things happen to me, i don't seen to get uplifted by it. I've achieved a few good things recently that would turn most people around, but I still don't feel right or fulfilled by it. It's like I kept telling myself it was circumstantial but nothing I have done to change how I felt made any difference. Like I now have a new job with more money so that will reduce my financial stress I've suffered for years, but I still don't feel like I deserve my job and I'm just so tired all the time.

I don't want to draw attention to myself, despite all the media attention that you should be open and talk, really I just worry that I'll sound ungrateful about feeling bad during what is supposed to be a 'better time' it would be easier if I weren't so exhausted all the time. The exhaustion of appearing fine...
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  #2  
Old 14th August 2019, 20:25
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: Does depression ever go away

I think.. feelings are feelings, they aren’t to be judged. Sometimes depression and anxiety don’t go away, even when good things happen. This doesn’t make us wrong or bad or ungrateful. I’ve found the less I beat myself up, the less depressed I feel sometimes. It’s not easy though... I don’t take much notice of the media attention. I think if people can’t talk on here about how they genuinely feel, then where can they talk. (Not in a doctors office, in my experience..). It’s hard for folks who haven’t experienced depression and anxiety to understand. I know what you mean, it is exhausting appearing fine..

It’s great that you have a good job. You do deserve good things (the sneaky snake of depression wants to convince otherwise)
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  #3  
Old 14th August 2019, 20:33
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Does depression ever go away

It can take a long time to 'lift' for some people, that's what has happened with me. I never thought I wouldn't be depressed but over the last year or two it's started to get better so slowly that I hardly noticed. (I should say that I am on medication and have been for a number of years and that helps too.) Even when good things do happen or life in general improves I think for most people their depression doesn't just go away immediately, unfortunately!
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  #4  
Old 14th August 2019, 23:12
Utopia Utopia is offline
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Default Re: Does depression ever go away

I can only speak for myself, and I've had brief periods where it's lifted, and it doesn't seem to matter too much about my external circumstances in the long run, but I obviously push people away more when I'm so depressed. If I won the lottery I would feel fantastic obviously (although less so than with others) but I would probably just get used to it and go back to my normal crappy mood, feeling like I don't fit in etc. I have better days than others, and I think it depends on the individual, but for me medication helped me with obsessive worry and suicidal levels of depression, but I still feel really crap constantly. I think I'm better than I would be if I was off medication personally, but there are a lot of obvious external things as well. It can be hard to get in the mood for things when depressed. Luckily, I'm no longer at my absolute lowest, but I am more bitter than ever after a recent breakup reinforcing my very negative outlook.

I know exactly how you feel regarding external things not always giving much fulfilment anyway,and this is the real depressive illness, and things can spiral out of control. Although work, money and participating in society will decrease your chances of suicide in the long run, just give it time.
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Old 14th August 2019, 23:24
Schmosby Schmosby is offline
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Default Re: Does depression ever go away

I had it from when I was a very young kid until I was around my early 30s. Been ok since.
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  #6  
Old 14th August 2019, 23:42
rachlou rachlou is offline
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Default Re: Does depression ever go away

Personally I don't think it ever goes away completely. Just comes and goes at different stages of life i reckon. And remember, even the happiest looking people can be severely depressed. Don't feel like you shouldn't be because you've had a 'better time' of it. Depression is called a battle for a reason.
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  #7  
Old 15th August 2019, 03:20
You Have 0 New Messages You Have 0 New Messages is offline
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Default Re: Does depression ever go away

For me it's like in films when they want to portray a bleak setting they'll use a grey filter, only the greyness extends beyond the visual into every sense and aspect of my life. No enthusiasm for anything, things I used to enjoy a lot hardly seem worth bothering with now. Can't sleep, generally feel like I need to GTFO but there's nowhere to GTFO to. Even my food tastes 'grey' ffs.

I'm sure I've been depressed on and off for years, but never been as low as I have been this last while. I've seen mention of self referral through my GPs website, probably worth giving that a go. Is that something they have in your area?
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  #8  
Old 15th August 2019, 12:42
sillypenguin sillypenguin is offline
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Default Re: Does depression ever go away

Thanks for the responses it's always good to hear from other people's experiences. I just feel almost guilty that I suffer from a mental health condition, which sounds ridiculous on paper but definitely makes me reluctant about speaking to anyone about it.

I've had to leave jobs because of it, I guess I just replaying that in my head and believing its going to happen again because I honestly feel like hiding away from everyone and it takes a lotta energy just to face the day sometimes.
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  #9  
Old 15th August 2019, 18:24
limey123 limey123 is offline
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Default Re: Does depression ever go away

You might have dysthymia.
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  #10  
Old 15th August 2019, 19:00
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: Does depression ever go away

Knowledge (can be) power.
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  #11  
Old 15th August 2019, 20:32
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: Does depression ever go away

^good post (I can relate)
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  #12  
Old 15th August 2019, 22:07
Utopia Utopia is offline
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Default Re: Does depression ever go away

Yeah, well depression is a bit like SA in that it's misunderstood in terms of what things are like for someone else, when it is a completely different person and mind. I have been both depressed and not depressed, what I have now is a mood that fluctuates between bad dysthymia and major depression. It's not just a matter of what's lacking, my mood can colour all experiences, making everything more negative, and if you have that attitude, you just push people and good things away and things spiral. There is a very real mood disorder, but it's a vicious circle that takes a lot of strength to fight against.

Anxiety is a pain also, I will never feel 100% calm around people. I may well eventually feel better one day, for good, it really isn't out of the question; in the meantime I will just have to cope as best I can.
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  #13  
Old 19th August 2019, 13:16
sillypenguin sillypenguin is offline
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Default Re: Does depression ever go away

I equally loath anxiety, my anxiety has proper spiked over the weekend and I'm sitting in work right now with my heart racing trying to hold my sh*t together, i could hardly sleep last night either (although my sleep has been crap since my new job started) and that's definitely not helping either.
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  #14  
Old 20th August 2019, 10:09
Moksha Moksha is offline
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Default Re: Does depression ever go away

I do think there is such a thing as low level depression - or even a depressive personality disorder. That never goes away. Thankfully, though horrible, and though it destroys lives, it's usually bearable. The real, severe, agonizing bouts of depression - I mean where it spikes and you are in so much pain you want to scream. That, in my experience, does go away.

Thankfully, I've never had long bouts of depression. I can feel it though, simmering away beneath the surface. Day to day I'm fine. Actually, I'm often relatively cheerful. But I know there is this hole beneath the ground. At any minute something could happen and bam, I'm through. Often, it isn't events. It's more the spirals of shame and self-loathing and fear I think myself into. When I was younger (from 8 or 9 to my late 20s), I was probably in a state of low level depression much of the time. Today, it seems to manifest more as agitated depression. I never seem to get it without a volt of anxiety as well (most depressed people just stay in bed and refuse to get dressed; I'm the opposite - can't sleep, can't stop talking, can't even sit still). The last time I experienced a real bout of that was in April 2016. So long as I never feel as bad as that again I'll go through the rest of my life with a smile.
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  #15  
Old 21st August 2019, 00:37
Utopia Utopia is offline
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Default Re: Does depression ever go away

^ I had a GP that diagnosed me with that, but I later found that it wasn't in the latest DSM and the psychiatrist I saw correctly diagnosed it as 'persistent depressive disorder', but these definitions are constantly changing. He also mentioned the term double depression, which was exactly right, and that guy did prescribe added medication that has stopped me feeling suicidal, and even lifted me from depression for a bit. I've found a low dose antipsycotic or mirtazepine added to an SSRI actually stabilises the suicidal mood swings, but with added side effects.

I've also started rTMS, which seems promising as for a moment I felt that my emotions were starting to come back a bit, but it's still only the first (out of 20) treatment session. I have to go back each day for treatment.
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  #16  
Old 21st August 2019, 11:39
limey123 limey123 is offline
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Default Re: Does depression ever go away

Quote:
Originally Posted by Utopia
'persistent depressive disorder'
The new name for dysthymia
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  #17  
Old 21st August 2019, 15:21
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: Does depression ever go away

I can relate totally sillypenguin.

I can't remember the last time I didn't feel depressed. I've stopped enjoying everything. I used to love painting and although I wasn't very good found it immensely therapeutic but I haven't been able to pick up a paintbrush since last year. I also loved gardening, but can no longer muster up any enthusiasm for it. All I want to do is hide away under the duvet. I feel like I'm simply existing. It's like a slow lingering death. I'm not feeling suicidal but I do think that that if I didn't have loved ones I'd be taking a one way trip to Switzerland.
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