24 today!

[jontyboyoh]

I don't see the point in posting this, but its something to do I suppose.

Just thought I'd say I'm very depressed and cannot see a way out. I'm just so negative about everything. I seem to get more and more trapped within myself.

I don't even know what else to write, but just wanted to put something.

I'm sure Birthdays are meant to be enjoyable, or does nobody feel anything when they get to this age?

I know there's a positive, spiritual person within me, but its just a matter of unlocking him again.

I just wish I could speak to my dad on an adult level, but he doesn't do emotions and I doubt his dad did, so its even harder for me........ I want to say something along the lines of: 'Why do you think you're not a very emotional person, dad?', but its just too difficult: I even find it excruciatingly painful to say the word dad, as I've said on here before..... Sometimes I think it would be easier to start talking Japanese!

Its one of those things where I don't even know what I'm scared of anymore.

I read other people's posts and feel sorry for people who have reached there 30s and claim to have achieved nothing, but I also understand how this could be me in a few years, unless I start to put the work in again...... I know the only way you can feel god about yourself is by doing and not thinking, but motivation is low at the minute!

Any, better try to salvage something from this day.

Bye, and cheers for listening!

[peppermint]

Happy 24th birthday!


Hopefully it can be the start of something great for you. :D

I'm not good at offerening advice so good luck. :embarass:

[jontyboyoh]

Cheers for the reply anyway!

I don't think advice works anyhow. I'm questioning if talking about it helps anyway; feels like I can talk about it till I'm blue in the face and I'll still be the same....

I think the only reason I come on this site anyway is to provoke a response (as sad as it sounds!).

[Hoople]

Happy Birthday (again) Jon

I hope the manchester meet cheered you up a little.
Sounds like the depression is making you think in all-or-nothing terms, which doens't reflect reality as things are much more complicated than that. Try to ignore that 'depressive' voice that talks to you negatively much of the time, just discount it as its really not telling you anything valid or helpful . You are young and willing to work on your SA and depression so I think there is a lot of possibility for you to create a life for yourself which you are happier with.

take care (and hope your hangover isn't too bad!)
Julie

Happy birthday mate!!!


Sorry you're feeling down, I know how it feels.

[billy_brown]

happy birthday!!! i was at the manc meet too, must've missed you. kept to meself kind of anyway. happy 24th!

[english-ice]

Originally Posted by jontyboyoh

I don't see the point in posting this, but its something to do I suppose.

Just thought I'd say I'm very depressed and cannot see a way out. I'm just so negative about everything. I seem to get more and more trapped within myself.

I don't even know what else to write, but just wanted to put something.

I'm sure Birthdays are meant to be enjoyable, or does nobody feel anything when they get to this age?

I know there's a positive, spiritual person within me, but its just a matter of unlocking him again.

I just wish I could speak to my dad on an adult level, but he doesn't do emotions and I doubt his dad did, so its even harder for me........ I want to say something along the lines of: 'Why do you think you're not a very emotional person, dad?', but its just too difficult: I even find it excruciatingly painful to say the word dad, as I've said on here before..... Sometimes I think it would be easier to start talking Japanese!

Its one of those things where I don't even know what I'm scared of anymore.

I read other people's posts and feel sorry for people who have reached there 30s and claim to have achieved nothing, but I also understand how this could be me in a few years, unless I start to put the work in again...... I know the only way you can feel god about yourself is by doing and not thinking, but motivation is low at the minute!

Any, better try to salvage something from this day.

Bye, and cheers for listening!

"Jontyboyoh!.... I turned 24, one month ago and ever since then,my brain has been telling me" ( "Hey' I'm 24 now and I not happy with where I am in life.....I'm worth more!)- I left school in 98 and in that time I have made alot of personal/spiritual growth and for two years 2000-2002, I had true inner peace and was so happy with where I was with in my life. But in that time I didn't really make any moves to overcome my SA and because of my fear of blushing I have developed a real bad habit of procrastination(putting things off)- which is giving me real trouble of moving forward.

From the knowledge and wisdom I've gained in the last 6 years or so ,I know that I can become the king of my world", and make my dreams come true and get back that joy in my life but at the moment I'm living in a vicious cycle of not moving forward and not still living with sa.

Does anyone else here put the simple things off due to sa?

[Boc11]

Happy bithday mate! I know exactly how you feel - I've literally just turned 24 too and it was the most depressing birthday I've ever had. I just look back on my life and how little I've achieved and think "what's the point?"

[jontyboyoh]

Cheers for all your great replies, esp. you Julie because its good to put a face to the name!..........

I've only just gotten chance to read the replies even though its been a week since my original post.

Its good because I suppose recently I've been thinking some negative stuff about fellow 'SAers' (even though I'm not completely comfortable with the term), esp: seeing people as all the same..... The worse it gets, the more I see that there are just 2 sorts of people in this world: me and everybody else (lol).

PS: oh the pain when I read my post back to myself........ Even that sounded like it was written by 'just another SAer'!

Anyway, cheers again!

[Hom]

english ice:-

Does anyone else here put the simple things off due to sa?[/QUOTE]

I always do! I put it off and then it turns into a bigger deal then it is and it turns into this huge monster. I'm not going to give examples but they are only simple things and if I just did it straight away then it would remain simple and not turn into something else.

I was 28 on Tuesday (13th). Sometimes I start to think and have regrets but I quickly stop myself as this isn't going to help at all.

Now is the only time there is

Hom

[Pili-pala]

Happy Birthday! Welcome to the world of being 24. Although for me, it feels no different to 23. I hope you manage to lift your spirits soon

Happy Birthday jontyboyoh!