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#1
25th October 2020, 21:49
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Body image issues in men.
"Body image issues are rising fast among men. But positivity campaigners are raising the profile of men of all shapes and sizes."
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...idence-for-men 
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#2
26th October 2020, 03:05
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Re: Body image issues in men.
Where has No Longer Human gone? I was going to have a quick chat with you and Dougella. Although we can still have that chat, but before we do, I will give my thoughts on this thread.
I've now got to the stage where I am more or less content with how I look. Which I think is partially down to how I am not putting myself on the market right now. Otherwise, I might go from feeling content, to feeling OMG! But for now, what with being content, I'm happy with how I am. Such as how my plumbing is still kind of working. Although it went everywhere the other day. But I won't elaborate on that part. Then there is my roof. Where some of my tiles have blown off, but at least I still have a roof. I've even got used to how my floorboards are sounding these days. So it might not be a palace, but at least my house is....... Where is No Longer Human? Because he can put this far better than I ever could. My house!!!!!!!!! What has happened to my wonderful house!!!!!!!!!!!! You should have seen my house when it was newer, No Longer Human!! Where my plumbing was second to none back then!!!! All the tiles were in place as well. And I didn't have to hear those constant floorboard sounds. My God!!!!!! What has time done to my wonderful house!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sorry about that, Dougella. My intention was to give a more rounded view on this topic. Where I would have elaborated on a time when I lost a lot of weight and I still had body image issues. Then I went down the path of increasing my strength, but I still kind of had body image issues. It was only when I reached my 30's, that I started to focus more on my emotional issues. Which helped to make those body image issues a bit less magnified than they once were. So again, I would have elaborated on that further, but the sugar I had consumed earlier was starting to wear off. Which is why I went down another path with this post. Also, when I say I consumed sugar, I really mean actual sugar! The Tate and Lyle kind  Anyway, time for that chat...... Now it goes without saying that I think you are both great! After all, this is Dougella and No Longer Human we're talking about here! So you both might be aware that I have started a thread recently. Which is now owned by the great genovese! (a.k.a Granite Rock and definitely not a Pebble) Although truth be told, that thread isn't my idea of fun. In fact, I even feel slightly nauseous at the mere thought of that thread. As well as having a few heart palpitations. But apart from all of that, it's.....yeah. Which brings me to my point. I don't have a script for either of you. Or even a basic idea for a story. But apart from all of that, I still think this has potential. Where both of you can take part in a future audio episode. Although when I say the future, we might be talking another year. Possibly two, even. After all, what's the rush is what I say! Although I completely understand if that thread isn't for you. Especially as that thread also isn't for me. But I just thought I'd put the idea out there. Where you will both get starring roles. Set to orchestral music of course. Then maybe you can both do a duet at the end. But again, no pressure of course! After all, given my deep seated anxiety of that thread, chances are we might be talking decades before this idea becomes a reality. But still, I just thought I'd put the idea out there. I would now like to end this post with a dedication song to Dougella and No Longer Human. Two members, who in my opinion, are just fabulous! And yes, I am full of sugar right now. But I still stand by the fact that Dougella and No Longer Human are still fabulous:
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#4
26th October 2020, 21:43
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Re: Body image issues in men.
Quote:
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#6
27th October 2020, 16:19
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Re: Body image issues in men.
I must say ,I find it quite hard to stop putting weight on,
I think a lot of jobs these days (where most people probably spend half of their day) are becoming more PC-based / sedentary in nature, so,. unless you are hitting the gym after work or putting in some hours walking or running after work, chances are, you will start piling on the pounds. I was always really slim, until my early 40's when my job changed to a more PC-based one, and I just started getting bigger and bigger,.. now,. I've gone from a Large to being most comfortable in something XXL, my feeling is it's a false road to go down, trying to 'celebrate' being obese, as some of us just need that excuse of "celebrate the diversity of your body shape" to loosen the belt even more and kind of acquiesce to XXL-dom. what men probably need is just some more motivation for getting back into shape.
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#7
27th October 2020, 17:26
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Re: Body image issues in men.
^ I think it's a fine line between celebrating diversity of body shapes and using it as an excuse to "let yourself go"; I know how easy it is to add a few extra pounds (or stones) without realising it, but it is also possible to keep in reasonable shape without having a six pack. Really, it comes down to finding a level where you feel comfortable with how you are, are fit enough to do what you want to do and don't develop health issues caused or exacerbated by excess (or lack of) weight; if you can satisfy those criteria, then you have no reason to be ashamed of your body.
Earlier this year, I addressed the issue of my own excess weight (it's still a work in progress, although I am now within my recommended BMI range), which had crept up on me over the past couple of years or so, mainly because I'd been eating too many takeaways and taking less exercise; nobody had mentioned how I looked (I wish they had) but I'd reached a level where I didn't feel comfortable - I'm now three stones lighter, wearing trousers I hadn't worn for three years and regularly walking twenty miles or more in a day. I still have visible flab (although no longer look as if I'm smuggling footballs under my shirt) but have no desire to be toned and honed, so if others don't like me as I am, that's their issue. I did notice, on my travels this year, that body image issues do seem to be less prevalent in Europe than in the United Kingdom; in places like Switzerland and the South of France, people (men and women) of all ages, shapes and sizes were on the beach in more daring swimwear than you'd expect here and none of them appeared to be at all self-conscious. I think, ultimately, it comes down to how confident we are in ourselves (notwithstanding that conditions such as BDD can give us a distorted view of our own appearance) and the knowledge that we have made at least some effort (within the confines of our personal circumstances) to maintain ourselves; it's natural for most of us to want to look our best, even if we have to do that within limitations (money and time) - but if we do what we can, then that should suffice. Sent from my SM-A105F using Tapatalk
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#8
27th October 2020, 17:38
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Re: Body image issues in men.
Quote:
Also the body positivity thing is supposed to be about being kind and accepting of ourselves and other people, that doesn't mean not trying to improve our health and fitness if that's needed but still not spending time hating ourselves or our bodies in the mean time.
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#9
28th October 2020, 05:46
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Re: Body image issues in men.
^ I'm not so sure, I've seen a fair few examples of body positivists attacking NHS health advertisements, advising people to stay overweight and denying or downplaying the negative health implications of doing so.
In fact I am not sure what is "positive" about being obese at all. It isn't a character defect and people shouldn't be verbally attacked or bullied for it. But obesity is big health problem and glamourising it is not a good idea in my opinion. On the other hand societal expectations for men to be ripped with six-packs and women to be size zero are also very damaging. I think Instagram and Facebook etc and also dating apps like Tinder have a massive amount to answer to when it comes to this. 20 years ago the problem of perfect body expectations existed but not to the extent it does today. These days a lot of people are literally obsessed with the way they look. I think the general state of society probably has an influence too, people have become more competitive, atomised and besotted with material possessions and aesthetics.
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#10
28th October 2020, 09:45
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Re: Body image issues in men.
I've read a few times before that someone is far more likely to start and maintain a healthier lifestyle if they "love themselves" rather than if they're disgusted by/ashamed of/hate themselves or their bodies. It makes sense... why would anyone want to put in the effort to improve their quality of life if they didn't think they deserved it? It's easy to understand how someone who has very negative feelings about themselves and their bodies might not care about things getting worse. E.g. "I already weigh far too much, what difference would an extra kilogram make?" There is definitely a wide range of beliefs in this area though, and a lot of confusion and misunderstanding. Some people who talk about "health at every size" seem to literally believe that you can be morbidly obese and still extremely healthy (and others still who want to promote large bodies as being an ideal), whereas others who use the same phrase to describe their views argue that size shouldn't be a barrier to achieving a healthy lifestyle and that weigh loss might be something that follows from that but should not be the primary reason for it. I think the positivity buzzword is, or should be, encouraging people not to hate themselves, since hating yourself generally doesn't lead to better things.
Coincidentally, I watched Rihanna's second show a few weeks ago (the one discussed in the link Dougella posted) and during it I was wondering why the response to the criticism of fashion only using a very specific (i.e. thin) body type to model clothes is always to include someone who is very different to that as an attempt at balance. It's happened in a few runway shows over the past couple of years. Most people in the world aren't at either end of the spectrum, they fall in the huge space within that, so it seems odd to think that a good response to people complaining that your models are all unrealistically thin is to just add one or two quite large people. A man can both not have abs and not be overweight, yet most male models seem to either have abs or be overweight.
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#11
28th October 2020, 18:27
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Re: Body image issues in men.
Over a decade ago I joined a 'rate your looks' site along with several other members of a depression newsgroup..
Big mistake. They were rating each other 7-8, but rated me 4 point something.
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#13
28th October 2020, 21:27
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Re: Body image issues in men.
@Nanuq yeah I agree with what you say. I think the difference from 20 years ago was that people, generally women, had pressure put on them to look like celebrities. That was one level of stupidity. But now, in addition to celebrities, people are pressured to look as aesthetically pleasing as their friends' highly filtered and suped up Instagram photos. Which even their friends don't really look like in real life! And like you say the problem has now spread to men too.
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